Simple Addition
by FlamesEmbrace
Summary: Some problems take intelligence to solve. Some take genius. And some take a different kind of talent... Enter the Incredible Naruto! NaruKiba
1. Project Naruto Fails

**Simple Addition**

by Ember

**Warnings**: Yaoi, possibly some het, but most people aren't vehemently against that, maybe a little violence, probably some smex, that is; definitely some lime, maybe some lemon. Don't look at me that way. I take no responsibility for sugar-induced cavities influenced by the fluff in this fic so please check your dental plan to be sure.

**Pairings**: Kiba/Naruto, possibly Shikamaru/Sasuke, maybe a couple others.

**A/N**: Naruto and all characters therein belong to Kishimoto. The below lyrics are by the Killers, 'Mr. Brightside.'

So. I'm almost finished with **Fireworks** and I needed something else to occupy my mind. Besides, you know, all the homework and such that always comes with the school year. So I poked around Naruto fanfics and realized that I, myself, have never seen a KibaNaru fic.

I love KibaHina and KibaShino, and of course SasuNaru, but it occurred to me it could be a lot of fun to write KibaNaru. I mean, they're fun characters. They desecrate things. And so... Enjoy, my minions of yaoi fluff. Enjoy.

--

Coming out of my cage

And I've been doing just fine

Gotta gotta be down

Because I want it all

It started out with a kiss

How did it end up like this?

It was only a kiss

It was only a kiss

--

It was going to be brilliant. Absolutely, undeniably _brilliant_, in a way that no one, no matter how stuffy, or stupid, or old, or thick, or blind, could possibly deny. In years to come, in generations to come, they would still be talking about it. You just don't stop thinking about something like this overnight.

Naruto knew a lot about brilliance. By his own reasoning, he owned a great deal of the brilliance of Konoha, if not in the three-second-problem-solved way Sakura had, at least in a more practical and infinitely more interesting way. To himself, he called it Naruto-brilliance. To everyone else, he just called it incredible.

Shikamaru- who was, to the blonde's mind, the only challenger for his title of the Most Brilliant Genin of Konoha- called it 'incredibly lucky,' but Shikamaru didn't know how much work went into every little detail of every little prank. He couldn't have possibly pulled these things off without thinking; how exactly did someone make a life-size doll of the Third Hokage drop down from the ceiling when Iruka pulled down the overhead projector, dripping fake blood onto teacher and floor respectively, without planning it out perfectly, breaking into the school after it closed, and hooking it all up to perfection? How did one botch the fireworks display so completely that the only ones that took off made sickly little showers of pale-colored sparks without even writing out the _details_ of one's plan?

And how exactly did one change the flow of the irrigation of the entire village to make a giant wording of "Naruto" in water and mud- not an easy medium- in the Hokage's front yard without the careful engineering that only Naruto could ever, possibly pull off?

He grinned and, turning over the last bit of dirt to complete the 'o', threw the cheap shovel onto the ground. It bounced and lay still and the _kyuubi_ vessel, humming to himself, ran back over the 'N' and buried the hose nozzle into the loose dirt. If he timed it perfectly, the water would turn the wording to mud without blurring it into the dirt and lawn around it. It had taken a few days and the lives of several brave flower and grass blade sacrifices, but he'd managed to get his entire name in the old whore's lawn while Tsunade, with all her Hokage business, spent the nights in the office. It might take a couple weeks for the yard to dry out completely and maybe a few months to get the grass replanted but it would be worth it for that one moment when everyone would see who was really meant to be in power, who was really the coolest and most awesome shinobi in Konoha, if not the world.

He walked around, looking for the knob to turn on the water, when he heard footsteps. _Damn_. No one was supposed to know about this yet- but hiding the evidence would prove to be too difficult at the moment. This wasn't like most of his graffiti, this couldn't be covered up by shoving paint under a blanket until the danger passed, or pushing a spray-paint can down his pants and pretending the intruder chased Sakura away. (That had only happened once, and it had almost worked when he had sneezed and ended up accidently pressing the tip of the spray, getting a glob of bright, electric blue on the inner crotch of his orange pants. A little embarrassing.) Faced with the choice, he ducked under a row of untrimmed hedges in the Hokage's front yard and knelt in the dirt, waiting for the late-night visitors to leave.

"God dammit, slow down." The voice was high-pitched and whining; unmistakably Ino. Naruto pulled a face even though there was no one there to see him. A lot of guys thought Ino was cute (though she, of course, had eyes only for Sasuke) but Naruto couldn't see why. Sakura was cuter _and_ cooler. Like Naruto was cuter and cooler than Sasuke. They were made for each other.

"Why don't you try and keep up? You're the one that wanted to come, you know." The voice was loud, half-yelled, and almost rough, and Naruto almost cursed aloud. He bit his tongue to keep from actually speaking and frantically started clawing at the ground, trying to get the wetter dirt near the air so that even _he_ could smell it. Maybe the stronger scent would mask his. It was hard to hide from Kiba, and the bastard would be thrilled to find him here. Naruto gritted his teeth. Stupid Kiba.

Ino snorted and it was quiet for a second, the footsteps slowly shuffling closer. "I don't even know why we're here, Kiba. I mean, you didn't tell me all of it." There was a short scuffle and Ino cursed quietly; Naruto wondered for a second before he realized the girl had tripped. The footsteps continued. "Doubtlessly, you want to vandalize something, but..."

Kiba barked out laughter, and the footsteps paused for a second before starting again. "Heh. Yeah, well, Shino didn't want to be a part of it and Hinata hated the idea so it was you, Shikamaru, Sakura, or Choji. Shikamaru, I didn't even bother to ask; he wouldn't want to bother. Choji's a fat ass. Sakura's out, she's a pussy in the end of things."

Hey, Sakura was an option but Naruto and Sasuke weren't? Okay, Sasuke wouldn't want to be a part of it, he was a prick, but Naruto...

"Naruto?" Kiba's voice grew a little quieter and a trifle more rough, and Naruto tensed before he remembered his writing in the yard. Fuck! Now, Kiba would start to try and smell him out, make sure he wasn't hiding... He couldn't hear the indrawn air or see Kiba from his angle and obscured as everything was by the prodding, painfully sharp branches all around him, but he could almost _feel_ the air being drawn away from him, carrying traitorous messages to the canine-nin. The footsteps had completely stopped. Neither Kiba nor Ino said anything. The silence was almost oppressive, dotted once or twice with uncertainties- did they run off to tell? Did they know he was here? Were they gone, yet?

"Hi, Naruto." Kiba's voice came from maybe six inches over Naruto's head. The blonde made a sound less macho than a squeak and fell backwards, staring upwards, to where Kiba stuck with Chakra to the wall of the Hokage's home, hands and feet glued to the brick, feet above his head. "Down here for a little desecration of private property?"

Akamaru stood beside the bushes, sitting on his haunches. Ino stood behind him, hands on her hips, regarding the Genin on his back in front of her with a singular distaste. Ino hated him probably more than anyone else in Konoha, mostly because he was on Sasuke's team and was awarded the privilege of being the black-haired genius' rival. Naruto scowled at her. Well, he hated Ino back!

"And what are _you_ doing here, Kiba?" the blonde growled back. "Here to spy on your rivals? Or just want some snog-time with Ino?"

"Ugh," Ino replied, glaring down at him. Of course, Naruto knew damned well that Ino wouldn't lower her standards to Kiba from Sasuke the Great Prick, but he liked petting them backwards. He grinned- brilliantly- and untangled himself meticulously from the bush.

"Or maybe we're here to make sure the Hokage's home is ready for her. Tsunade should be home in an hour or so... Jesus, Naruto, when she sees your name dug up in his yard, do you think she'll suspect it was you?"

Naruto frowned at the canine-nin. "I'm not scared of her."

Kiba rolled his eyes and Ino snorted disgustedly. "You will be," she growled, "When you finally push her off the edge and she disbands your fucking team."

Naruto scowled. "She can't do that."

"Yeah, she can. What do you think happened to Teams 1-6?"

Naruto thought back and blanched. "You lying bitch."

Kiba raised an eyebrow. "Jeeze, Naruto. We were _going_ to offer to wipe out your name and cover for you, but if you're going to be profane about it."

"You bastard. You wouldn't actually do that."

"I guess we won't." The two shrugged almost simultaneously and turned away from the blonde. Naruto worried his lip, then finally conceded. His pride wasn't worth his dream.

"Fine. Fuck it." He grimaced and contrived to sound exaggeratedly, ironically meek. "Help, Kiba?"

Kiba paused, reflecting; should he make Naruto beg or just let it go? He wasn't really a letting-go kind of person but he really wanted Naruto out of the picture so he could continue with his plan. "Of course, little Naru-kun. Run home, blondie, we'll finish things here."

The _kyuubi_ vessel was obviously holding in his profanity by the skin of his nails and he turned on his heel and marched away with a general air of frustration around him. Ino chuckled to herself as soon as he was out of earshot.

"You know, Ino," Kiba said slowly, pulling the rope from inside his jacket, "Teams 1-6 just don't work as closely to us as the other teams-"

"I know, Kiba." She flashed her devil-may-care smile as she started to help him. "You know, he really is gullible, hmm?"

Kiba knew that certain glint in Ino's eye, even though he wasn't really close to her, being on different teams; you had to maintain a constant distance of six miles from Ino to keep from knowing that glint. It shone even in the relative darkness, like another star. "What the fuck are you planning?"

She only grinned at him and continued playing out the rope; he dropped his half to get her attention and she finally turned to him with the half of her face not facing Konoha in shadow. "Simple, Kiba-kun. It's only the one joke that would finally get you one-up on him."

The canine-nin rolled his eyes. "I don't care whether he has a stronger reputation than I do." He smiled a savage grin and picked up the rope again. "I have more charm, anyway."

"That's part of the plan, too."

Expecting, at the very least, the girl's half of the rope to be thrown at his shoulder, Kiba looked back over to her. Her smile was stretched, now, like she couldn't really contain her glee. He sighed and took the bait. "Alright. What is it?"

She snickered, knowing full well that the buoy was underwater and the line was already starting to stretch. "It's really quite simple."

"When someone repeats that it's 'simple' enough times, I start to get worried that, inversely, it'll be really, really complicated."

"Shut up, Kiba." She held up her hand to forestall his further comments and continued. "What we're going to do-"

"What _I _MIGHT do."

"...is lead Naruto on."

There was a pause. _Fuck. It does sound really simple._ "Lead Naruto on? Meaning...?"

Her laugh could have been windchimes. Or glass breaking. "You'll pretend to like him. You'll get him to love you. Then we'll all laugh. The end!"

For a second, she couldn't determine if Kiba was laughing or had suddenly had a coughing fit. After a while, though, she realized he was coughing. When he had regained control he wheezed, with obvious disbelief, "Pretend to _like_ him? Like... like making out with him?" His continued coughing cut her off. "You're fucking with me, right? Where's the fucking camera? You can't be serious."

She shook her head. Honestly, Kiba could be so _blind_. "Of course I'm serious. You dolt." He stared at her and she sighed. "Alright, you don't have to actually make out with him. Just pretend you want to." Her teeth flashed, white in the shadows of her face. Kiba frowned. "Then, when it's obvious he wants to, you can cut it short. It'll still be funny."

Kiba frowned a little deeper. Akamaru whined at his feet. "I don't know," he said, slowly, not wanting to sound _too_ concerned- after all, hadn't he been part of the knot of people who'd picked on Naruto since they were all young?- but not knowing whether this wasn't going a little too far. "Don't you think... I dunno, it's a little..."

"Mean?" She shrugged. "Not really. I mean, Naruto has a good sense of humor. It'll take him a while," she grinned again, "but he'll come around, probably laugh at it eventually."

Kiba rolled his eyes. "Alright," he said, determined to find some flaw in Ino's logic, "how exactly would I start this, anyway? Just come up to him in the middle of the street and start reciting Shakespeare's _Sonnet 64_?"

"I'll handle that." Ino dropped her part of the rope and walked closer, smiling up at the canine-nin conspiringly.

"And if you don't?"

She shrugged. "I won't expect anything out of you. After all, if I can't do it, who can?"

¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

Naruto ran some water in a pot that was more-or-less clean, pulled some ramen out of his stash in the cabinet, and threw it on the counter, staring down at the water, waiting for it to boil. He was _starving_. No matter that it was almost midnight; really, when did it become a _bad_ time for ramen? He grinned and threw the square of noodles into the water, waiting for a second before adding the powdered seasoning. Shrimp. Not his favorite, but a good flavor. Maybe he had something good to put in it. He thought back, couldn't remember the last time he'd cleaned the older food out of the back of the fridge, and thought better of opening the door to look for something. Out of sight, out of mind.

There was a note pinned to his window; he opened it and pulled in the slip of paper, leaving the window open for the bit of breeze he'd felt. It was Sakura's handwriting, hastily written- an appointment to meet Kakashi. Eight o'clock. Naruto groaned out loud and crumpled the paper, dropping it carelessly into the pile of flotsam on his table. He hated it when they had to meet early- especially when he didn't get to sleep until two or three in the morning, anyway.

He ate his noodles hurriedly, then dropped the pot into the sink- _this_ time he would wash it, eventually- and ran upstairs, counting off the seconds. Three seconds, to the top of the stairs, four to his bedroom. He smiled to himself. That was better than yesterday's run- though he was too tired to figure out by how much right now. He was _tired._ Pulling off his jacket and pants, he crawled into bed in his underwear and collapsed against the pillows, leaving the hall light on outside his door, turning to face the wall so that the strip of light wouldn't bother him.

_So early. Stupid Kakashi. _He wished a silent goodnight to his house- there was no one else around, after all- and, curled around himself, fell asleep.


	2. Plan 'A' Unfolds

Chapter Two

by Ember

**A/N**: If humans were not such base beings that we need for the sake of our own protection national borders and partial governments, we would _all_ own Naruto. As it is, the world isn't one big happy Communist nation, and Naruto © Kishimoto.

Alrighty-o. I'm probably going to be smacked around for blatantly using generalizations in the beginning of the chapter, so let me say this- I, personally, do not care what I'm wearing. I don't insinuate that any of you follow the first few paragraphs of this chapter, I just really, really needed someplace to springboard this or I was never going to write the second chapter. ()

Now, to conform hideously to what _everyone_ else does with their story and reply to my reviews, 'cause I really wasn't expecting five of them on such an obscure pairing :

**gothangel123**: I've never read this pairing before... I'd like to, though. Thanks for reviewing!

**Lord Zork**: Thanks a lot:D

**shinigami**: Ohmygod, your review's a poem! Sorta. Well, thankies for teh reviewage!

**Kira-Sama**: Thanks!

**Toboe**: Me, too:D Thanks for the review!

...Which was essentially a waste of time because I said all-in-all the exact same thing five times... o0. That's why conforming is bad.

No, the lyrics have nothing to do with the chapter. Heh. Well, you can't win all the time.

-

Now I'm falling asleep

And she's calling a cab

While he's having a smoke

And she's taking a drag

Now they're going to bed

And my stomach is sick

And it's all in my head

But she's touching his chest now

He takes off her dress now

Let me go

-

The largest difference between boys and girls is a simple enough fact that deep enough observation will, with the occasional exceptions, almost always prove true. At least, most of the time prove true. This is not a simple fact like a physical difference or a difference in athleticism or empathy, but rather the True Difference, the factor that has caused a gap roughly the width of the pacific ocean between male and female since the beginning of the world. The factor which has caused unending break-ups, fights, and misunderstandings since long before the first monk sought desperately to escape it.

It is, of course, the matter of clothing.

There is a sort of high, it almost seems, for women to walk around in brand-new clothing, everything from the shirt to the shoelaces bought the day before, never worn, draped in almost religious ceremony where ever she puts her clothing for the next day. Walking around knowing, regardless of whether anyone else notices or anyone else cares or whether or not she actually looks good, that her entire outfit is new.

Males, as a generalization, seem to get this exact same high from wearing clean clothing. Every once in a while.

And therein lies the problem.

Kiba, who at sixteen didn't know this Master Rule that most men don't learn until their sixties, had no idea _why_ Hinata was taking so damned long and was very quickly running out of patience. Shino, who simply sat in silence, didn't seem to care but Kiba had been working next to him for longer than most and knew how to tell when his teammate was impatient, or irritated. Just the slight fidgeting, the slow, constant motion of his fingers, steepling them and relaxing them, not moving besides.

"She's taking forever," Kiba groaned, letting out a light growl on 'forever.' Akamaru sat at his feet, worrying at his shoelace.

"Hn," Shino replied in affirmation.

Akamaru dropped the spit-covered lace and responded with a soft whimper.

After another moment, the door creaked open and the Hyuuga emerged, dressed in a loose-fitting shirt and half-length pants, cuffed up to show her narrow ankles and mild brown sandals. She seemed to pose in her doorway, eyes downcast, looking shy to be here, in front of her house, with two people she had been working with and talking to for years, now. Kiba held in a sigh because he didn't want to hurt her but couldn't retain a, "God, Hinata. Take forever."

The girl blushed hard and started to stammer out an apology, which Kiba figured he had to stop, as soon as possible. She would work herself up soon enough; the girl was painfully shy and heartbreakingly fragile- at least, in this area of existence. No one who had seen her fight could call her fragile as a ninja.

"It's alright, Hinata. We're not late, yet, and we didn't mind waiting, did we, Shino?" He would have gotten more response, on reflection, had he asked Akamaru, but after a second the insect-nin _did_ deign to nod his head. Then Kiba, through pure luck or divine favor, happened upon the one line that had mended countless rifts in countless alternate-sex engagements before this one. "You look great today, by the way."

She smiled. Hinata wasn't as absorbed in her appearance as Ino was, but she loved the occasional compliment. If only... if only compliments came from a direction other than only Kiba. Not that she didn't love the canine-nin, she really did, he was the big brother she never had and Neji had never wanted to be, but she wished... well... there _was_ another person she wished would give her more attention than he did...

"Are you coming, Hinata?" Kiba shouted, loudly, as always, over his shoulder. Akamaru's sharp bark broke the Hyuuga out of her reverie and she scrambled to catch up, passing Shino and walking beside Kiba along the slightly dusty road. Kurenai wasn't like Kakashi, _she_ was usually on time, and she hated it when her team was late. That was the reason they usually conspired to walk there together- if they were all on time, they were all good, but if they were all late, they couldn't _all_ get the short end of the stick in training.

Still, they _could_ all get the short end of the stick when it came to Kurenai volunteering them for missions, so they all tried to get there on time. Whenever possible. It would have helped if Kurenai chose _some_ time other than eleven in the morning to call for training, the time where the most people were out and going about their business, clogging up the streets with shouts to wandering children, hawks for various flotsam and jetsam, and the always-expected, near-constant drone of, "Saaaasuke!"

Kiba was the only one who bothered to turn, more because the slightly-whining voice had jogged sharp memories of an unpleasant duty he was being forced into rather than because he cared what Naruto's problem was _this_ time. Shino acted like he hadn't heard it. Hinata's gaze snapped to the ground as if she had just found some rock of incredible, fascinating quality about two feet from her right sandal.

"Do you have to be so _loud_, you idiot?" the black-haired ninja snapped back. Kiba paused, for some reason wanted to see how this turned out. Sakura was looking away, obviously pretending she didn't know the shouting blonde and clearly torn between wandering off like she'd never met them before and trying to rescue Sasuke somehow.

The blonde ignored both the remark and Sakura and latched onto Sasuke's arm. "I'm hungry," he wailed.

"Eat breakfast next time. We're going to be late if you don't get off of me."

"I didn't have any money and I couldn't find Iruka this morning," the _kyuubi_ vessel replied plaintively. Then he visibly brightened, as if reaching some sort of brilliant conclusion. "But _you_ have a lot of money, and..."

"No."

"Why not, Sasuke?"

"Hn."

Naruto scowled and relinquished his hold on his teammate's arm. "Never mind. I don't _want_ you to buy me ramen, Sasuke- I'll just sit here and starve." And then, with all the air of a three-year-old throwing a tantrum, he sat promptly down in the middle of the road.

Kiba looked behind him and saw Hinata and Shino in the corner of his vision, waiting for him to catch up to them. Shino's face was, of course, inscrutable, while Hinata was staring, fascinated, at Naruto. At least, that's where Kiba suspected she was staring. It was somewhat hard to tell with Hyuuga. Sakura, back beside an exasperated Sasuke, seemed to notice him for the first time and, catching his gaze, rolled her green eyes exaggeratedly.

"Get up, Naruto."

"No, asshole."

The Uchiha crossed his arms and glared down at the blonde, who closed his eyes and tilted his face away. Sakura tapped her foot and glared skyward.

And all the while, a little tiny bit of Ino inside of Kiba's head was slowly kicking at his brain. _Dammit, Kiba, what are you waiting for? I can't give you a better opportunity than this! Kiba! Kiba!_

Wait, how did Naruto bemoaning the lack of anyone willing to take him out help Kiba find an opportunity to make Naruto think he liked him?

Oh, well. When you put it _that_ way...

"Hey, Naruto." Sasuke and Naruto looked over at him, a set of black eyes and a set of blue landing on him, speculatively. "You want me to buy you some ramen? You know, after our training?" Alright, he hadn't been acting the part but even the words made him want to blush. _God_, he sounded like some little girl stuttering on her crush over the last petal clinging to a flower. Well, maybe it wasn't that bad, but still, it was bad.

And Naruto looked like he suspected something. Hell, of course he suspected something; there was almost certainly something there to suspect. The blonde pouted, blue eyes narrowed slightly. "Why?" he asked, bluntly. Kiba was being too nice to him.

"Because otherwise, you're going to sit there in the dirt until someone finally runs over you and puts you out of your misery."

Not perfect, but closer to normal. Naruto shrugged. Ramen, after all, was ramen. He stood up, dusted off the knees of his orange pants and grinned broadly.

Kiba, for the first time before any prank ever before in the history of Kiba's pranks, felt incredibly, irrationally nervous. A knot of butterflies spun around in his stomach. What was he getting into?

"Hey, Kiba." The familiar voice came from right above them and Neji jumped from the roof of an anonymous building next to them, landing perfectly, white eyes trained on the canine-nin. He waved briefly to Hinata and Shino, smirked at Sasuke and nodded slightly at Sakura before addressing the last two. "Tsunade wants to talk to you. And Naruto. She says to come right away, but it's not an emergency."

"Then why can't they come with us, first?" Sakura asked, sounding slightly worried.

Neji shrugged. "I didn't ask what it was about," he replied, dryly. He didn't need to voice the implied, _not my place_. "She just wanted to see you. Both of you. Unless one or both of you have any other concerns to throw temper tantrums over before we go."

¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

Ino looked concerned. Tsunade had to hand it to her; when she wanted to, Ino could do 'concerned' like Naruto could do 'hungry.' Like Sasuke could do 'angry.' Like Kakashi could do 'horny.' Her hands were folded around each other in her lap, her white teeth were biting down on her lower lip, her eyes were downcast, tracing every move of her nervously twitching thumbs, her shoulders were slumped enough to be worried but not yet hopeless. Oh, yes, she looked concerned.

Whether it was real or not, Tsunade didn't know. Nor, did she judge, was it her place to interpret. How the Genin felt was important, of course, and how she presented her concerns was important, but it was the real meat of the problem that was Tsunade's concern, not the face or facade that it was presented with. So she sent Neji to get Kiba and Naruto, regardless of whether or not Ino really cared or if she was eating herself up inside with worry. She had wanted to send Shikamaru, but she really wanted the two boys here today, and even this hour, if possible. And Chouji had been nowhere to be found. Neji had been at hand, though, and it had been easy enough to get him to go. Neji had his store of problems but a lack of respect for authority wasn't really one of them. If he was fated to be lower than someone...

A knock at her door broke her out of her reverie and she kept herself, with rigid composure, from jumping. Ino, she noted with a sort of self-pride that she really shouldn't have felt for victory over a Genin about thirty-five years younger than her, did not have that same control.

"Neji?"

"Yeah."

"Come in."

The door opened and the Hyuuga walked quietly through, Naruto and Kiba right behind him. Naruto caught sight of Ino and the confusion on his face intensified, then flashed with sudden worry. Kiba caught sight of Ino and his expression dissolved into horror.

_Oh, shit. She's come up with some way to get this thing moving..._

And knowing Ino, it wouldn't be pretty. _Especially_ once authority became involved.

"Sit down, both of you." Tsunade had a collection of comfortable chairs in her office, most lined in front of her desk. Kiba and Naruto both sat down, and Neji, taking a hint from the strategic use of the word 'both,' turned around and left without another word.

The Hokage sighed and looked from one face to the other before beginning. Okay, knowing Ino, this was definitely a plot- and she was playing into the Genin's palm. But, what could she do? Ino had a valid point and at least the veneer of true concern.

"Naruto, Ino came to get you this morning, she wanted to talk to you." What was the point of this? She was Hokage, she could point to Naruto and _command_ and he would have to listen to her. But she kept on explaining, bit by bit, what she was going to tell Naruto to do, and she knew by Ino's grin that the explanation was part of the plan. "Apparently, Naruto, your house was... well, it was in horrible state."

Ino, looking very much like she was enjoying herself to the point of ignoring the suspicious and angry, respectively, glares of her companions, said, "You had food that went bad two _years_ ago, Naruto."

Tsunade rose her hand to get Ino- who had already fallen silent- to be quiet while she continued. "Naruto, we can't let you live like that. You need to learn how to take care of yourself- and because you haven't proven to anyone's satisfaction that you can, I don't think you should live by yourself." She looked away but she could feel Naruto's glare. "I asked Ino what she thought we should do. Most Genin who move out at this age can be shoved back in with their parents- but obviously, that won't work in this case." A pause. "I'm sorry if that was an insensitive comment."

"It's alright," the blonde replied, subdued.

"You can't live with a team member, Ino and I discussed it. Most Genin, including Sakura, still live with their parents when they're sixteen. Sasuke, I don't think, would agree to it." She glanced back over at the two boys sitting in front of her. Naruto looked confused, like he was still getting over the fact that he had to move out of his house and be taken care of like a kid. Kiba... Kiba had, quite obviously, figured out Ino's game. He was glaring at her with something between horror and disbelief. She glared back with pure challenge in her eyes, a grin twisting her mouth.

The Hokage sighed again. "To cut it short, all of Team 10 live with families, and we're not looking for a foster home for you, just... a roommate. So does Hinata. We decided, you'd probably get along better with Kiba than Shino or anyone in Neji's team." And that was probably true. So why did she feel so used?

"Live with him?" Naruto squeaked, pointing dejectedly at the canine-nin.

"If he agrees to it." And all eyes turned to Kiba.

The slightly-shaggy ninja turned, floundering, to Ino, as if hoping for her to come to his rescue. That didn't happen. "Fine with me, sure," he growled after a second, turning away from the girl ninja and snarling the words in a tone that made it quite obvious it was most certainly _not_ at _all_.

-

A/N: Okay. I probably could have _lived_ with making this chapter longer, and I really do hate the beginning. D: But, the rest of it's okay, I think. Reviews are welcome, if you were under the impression that they weren't... Next chapter hopefully won't take this long.


	3. Bets, Beds, and Growing Tension

Chapter Three

by Ember

**A/N:** Well, squee. Now we have roomies! Yaaay! I should be doing my Chemistry homework right now, but lets face it- if Dr. Jones refuses to respect the presidents on their three-day-weekend, I refuse to place him at a higher priority than you guys. :D Further conforming:

Toboe: Ino rocks. (Not quite so much as Sakura, but endlessly more than Hinata.) Thanks again!

Shinigami: Aw, it's not a poem? Ah, well. Thanks again!

GothAngel123: 3... You leave such nice reviews...

Fairady: ...I can't thank you for not asking me to conform without replying... Well, thanks for such a nice review!

Lost In The Shadows:D Yes. Yes they are. Thanks a lot!

Pickle-Kitten: Thanks!

Luvzdogz: Oh, but I have a plan! It's Plan A, or the Get-Them-in-a-House-and-Wing-it-From-There plan. It works surprisingly well, actually... Thanks for the review:D

Simply-Turquoise:D

Naruto © Kishimoto. The portion of my brain in charge of creating clever disclaimers is not working today.

¤¤¤¤

And I just can't look

It's killing me

And taking control

Jealousy

Turning saints into the sea

Turning through sick lullaby

Joking on your alibi

¤¤¤¤

Naruto lugged his single bag in the door to Kiba's apartment, dumped it without ceremony on the wood floor, and sat on top of it with a sigh. Kiba, lounging on a couch in the next room over, leaned back and glared nails at him, his fingers jammed to the knuckle in Akamaru's fur.

The blonde pouted at the expression on the other boy's face. Why was he so pissed at _him_? "You know," he shouted over, "I didn't want to move in here any more than you wanted me to. And you said it was fine with you!"

Kiba bit back a withering look, forcing down the expected retort of, 'did anyone _ever_ want you around?' in favor of a more neutral shrug. He still couldn't play it up like he was supposed to and he was pretty sure that if Ino was in here she'd be grinding her elbow into his side, jabbing her finger at Naruto and holding up a neon sign that said, "FLIRT." He'd start to come onto him, or he'd get the perfect opportunity to sling his arm over Naruto's shoulders, or he'd watch the blonde start to fall and hear the 'evil trick' part of his brain scream at him to catch him and help him up in a dazzling expression of chivalry, and then he'd just sort of falter to a stop and stand there, uncomfortable and unmoving, while the moment passed by or the blonde tripped into a twitching pile on the ground.

After a second, he realized a response was expected of him so he managed, "I don't mind." Then, as the imagined Ino ground her imagined elbow into his balls, he managed, lamely, "I _wanted_ you to come, Naruto. I get..." god he felt like an idiot- "lonely."

And that acting merited somewhere around a negative three and a half out of ten.

Naruto scowled. "My ass," he said, obviously not getting the innuendo as he wasn't at all in on the trick, as he got back on his feet and started to drag his bag towards the stairs. "Hey, Kiba, where's my room, anyway?"

"Up the stairs, second door on the... never mind." Easier to show him to his room; the dark-haired shinobi had no desire to have his house poked through by the blonde when he forgot the three-step directions. Kiba put Akamaru on the floor, got to his feet and walked out to the hall, grabbing the handle of the bag and Naruto's wrist. (He had meant to grab his hand, honestly he had, but he hadn't gotten up the nerve to go that far, yet. The thought of it had his insides twisting, even if he _was_ acting like Konoha's biggest ever wuss.) The blonde fought against his grip but eventually yielded as the canine-nin dragged him and his belongings up the stairs. Kiba felt like the arm attached to the bag was about to pop off. "For Christ's sake, Naruto- what do you _have_ in here?" Then, before the _kyuubi_ bearer could answer, "And if you say 'ramen' I will stuff the whole damn thing down your throat."

The blonde's mouth closed with a snap, and he hesitated, thinking- obviously trying to think of something besides ramen that he'd thought to bring- grinned cheekily, and said, "Books."

At the very obvious lie, Kiba dropped his wrist and jerked up the stairs two at a time. The blonde lost his balance, grabbing the rail to keep from falling backwards down that stairs, and gave a short shout of surprise, lunging after the canine-nin in retaliation. Kiba dropped the bag at the top of the stairs and leapt right as Naruto, a orange-and-yellow streak, blazed towards him. The kitsune landed crouching against the wall, stuck with chakra, then sprang with a short yell towards the larger shinobi.

Kiba crouched down slightly, waiting, then, when the citrus-colored streak got close enough to make out the details of bright blue eyes and tan skin, he jumped backwards, landed on two feet, and opened the door to his right, outward, to obscure him like a large, wooden shield.

There was a muffled thunk as Naruto hit it, then a curse. He heard the wrinkling of cloth as the blonde stood up, and the door jerked a little as he used the doorknob to stagger to his feet. "Asshole! That wasn't fair, Ki- is this _my_ room?"

Kiba got the benefit of surprise, again, slamming his shoulder into his side of the door and knocking Naruto, who was still leaning against the knob, off his feet and into the guest bedroom. "Yep," he replied cheerily, jerking the room open again and stepping in behind the _kyuubi_ bearer. The bedroom was fairly large- especially by Naruto-standards- and incredibly immaculate- _at least _by Naruto-standards- with a queen-sized bed that was set in a corner, beside an empty table and a shelf lined with books and tightly-rolled scrolls on various ninja technique- not the sort of thing Naruto would be interested in, but the room made a good place to store the spare odds and ends that didn't fit anywhere else, like the old vacuum in the closet or the dress suits in the drawers.

The blonde glared up at him and picked himself up, crossing his arms tightly over his chest in defiance. "Bastard. I should have known better than to agree to move in here with you."

Kiba shrugged. "That's not _my_ fault," he pointed out, grinning at Naruto's glower. "And anyway, Naruto-"

The canine-nin was cut off when, without warning, Naruto dropped to one knee and lashed out with the other, catching Kiba in the back of his lower leg. The larger boy buckled and fell down, and the smaller catapulted over him, catching the edge of the door and slamming it closed so it bounced with a dull thunk off of Kiba's head. Akamaru barked madly at the orange streak of kitsune, bounding to the open doorway and growling.

"That wasn't fair," Kiba growled, hoisting himself to his feet.

"Course it was," came the bright reply from right outside, and the canine-nin barely caught the bag that came hurtling towards him. With a quiet grunt, he threw it onto the blonde's bed, the mattress yielding with a creak to its weight. "As fair as anything _you_ did."

Kiba followed the kitsune as he took the stairs two at a time, landing on the first floor with a quiet _whumph_. "Yeah, well," the canine-nin said, scooping up Akamaru and holding him cradled in his right arm, "_I_ did it with some amount of style."

Naruto snorted. "Oh, yeah. The finesse of whacking someone with a door."

A pause while Kiba reflected briefly on Naruto's blindness to genius. "Idiot."

"Asshole."

¤¤¤¤

Sakura leaned against the wall of a nearby bookstore, her eyes closed. One opened as she heard familiar footsteps and the green orb locked on the approaching shinobi. "You're late," she accused disdainfully.

Naruto pouted. "I had drag my stuff to Kiba's house," he complained, folding his arms behind his mop of yellow hair. "Tsunade made me move in with him until I..." he searched for words that didn't make him sound like a little kid who couldn't take care of himself.

"...Learn to feed yourself," Sasuke interjected dryly. "Ino... told me."

Probably into his ear from her position locked onto his shoulder, in a high-pitched and half-shrieking voice, by his tone.

Sakura made a face at the mention of her rival, then shot Naruto a pitying look. "You have to move in with _Kiba_?"

Sasuke, his previous insult gone pretty much ignored by Naruto, contemplated remarking on the incredible amassed amount of stupidity crammed into that one house- not to mention the arrogance- then thought better of it and shrugged. Naruto was going on a self-pitying speel in attempts to win Sakura's further attention, which was working steadily less with every word that was coming out of his mouth. He smirked and stayed out of it.

¤¤¤¤

Kiba didn't get a lot of days off; Kurenai generally took scheduled practices seriously- very seriously- and now that she had a team she didn't get a lot of independent missions to conveniently lift her away every once in a while. So now that his whole team was left with a three-day weekend, he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. What did one do when there was no training to be done? Did you go out to lunch? Not without someone to go with, and Shino had wanted to meditate, while Hinata wanted to stay at home today, thank you though, and spend some time with her younger cousins. Did you go shopping? Kiba didn't _like_ to shop, unless it was absolutely necessary. Did you sit around and watch television? Nothing good on. Did you train? No, that wasn't right...

"Hey, Kiba." The slow drawl came from a patch of grass to Kiba's right.

The canine-nin knew the voice; he didn't even need to walk over and see the speaker. "Hi, Shikamaru," he replied, scratching Akamaru behind the ears where the puppy sat in his shirt. "You guys have the day off, too?"

The lazy Chuunin didn't even sit up to reply. "Asuma's cool. We don't have training _every_ day." By the strain in his voice the times they did have training, it was obviously too much of a bother to even think about. There was a stretch of silence until Shikamaru seemed to notice that Kiba hadn't left yet. "Hey, Ino was looking for you, if you don't have anything else to do. She wanted me to help her find you."

"Probably wanted to apologize." Kiba smirked good-naturedly, but Shikamaru didn't look over to see it.

A quiet snort. "Don't get your hopes up."

"I'm not. I was being sarcastic."

The slight shift of the Chuunin's left shoulder might have been implying a shrug or an itch. "Dunno what she wants. Didn't ask."

Kiba shrugged back and craned his neck to follow Shikamaru's gaze. The clouds looked like... clouds, like puffs of cotton in the sky, the same as every day when the canine-nin bothered to look up at them. He wondered if the Chuunin saw something else in them or just liked to watch them move, or ever really noticed them at all while he thought his genius Chuunin thoughts. What did it matter, anyway?

He continued on his path, tweaking the direction slightly so he was headed for Ino's house. He didn't have anything else to do, after all. "See you."

There was no response. Maybe he'd fallen asleep.

He made it entirely without incident to Ino's house, knocked, twice, then leaned back against the decorative post stretching from her porch floor to the overhang, his arms crossed over his chest, listening to footsteps inside; then Ino threw open the door, peered out, and grinned. "Hey, Kiba," she said, happily, moving aside to give him room to walk in. "How're you? Can I get you something to drink?" She liked using formalities when Kiba- or Shikamaru, or whoever- _knew_ something was up and was waiting for her to cut to the chase.

Dogs, however, are rarely subtle. Subtlety is more of a cat thing. "Shikamaru told me you were looking for me," he cut in.

Ino looked ecstatic to receive this news. "Did he really? I didn't think he'd bother to."

Kiba rolled his eyes. "Ino. What do you _want_?"

She grinned and sat down on her couch, motioning to a chair across from her, which Kiba dubiously took. Elbows propped on her knees, chin on her palms, she grinned at him and said, "I just want to know how things are going, Kiba."

No question what 'things' she was referring to- Ino had gone to trouble to get this thing seen through and she obviously wanted to know how it was working. Kiba frowned and thought back- to failed attempts at flirting, their brief fight, their sporadic arguments. He meant to say, 'great,' just so Ino would leave him alone, but it came out as "It's not."

"Pardon?"

He sighed. "It's not going at all, Ino. This is getting old, and I don't think I want to deal with it anymore."

She grinned in response. "Well, if you don't think you can handle it, Kiba, that's fine."

Oh, no. Oh, hell no. That worked on Naruto, that worked on Sasuke, that worked on every shinobi in the entirety of Konoha (excepting perhaps Shikamaru) but it would _not_ work on Kiba. "Of _course _I can handle it. I'm just getting tired of it."

She pressed her hand against her mouth to restrain a giggle.

It _wasn't_ going to work on him. He wasn't the arrogant idiot Naruto was _or_ the brainless prick Sasuke represented. He _wasn't_. This wasn't going to work on him. "What? You don't think I could handle it?" That just slipped out when a stray giggle burst from between the female shinobi's fingers.

The girl seemed to regain her self control, then, and, staring at him soberly, arms folded in her lap, said, "Of _course_ I believe you, Kiba."

"No, you don't." Not like it was working on him or anything.

"Yes, I do. And so you know, I'd respect you either way, so really, we don't have to-"

"It's alright, Ino. I'll go through with it." God damn it. He knew he was being manipulated. He had _known_ it. How did Ino _do_ that?

She looked concerned. She was really good at feigning concerned. "Are you sure you're up to it, hon?" If the endearment hadn't been tinted with just the slightest bit of malicious amusement, it would have been one-hundred percent perfect acting.

And in response, Kiba heard himself saying six words he was pretty sure he had never consciously agreed to say. "You want to bet on it?"

Ino grinned in response.

¤¤¤¤

Kiba was in the middle of "The Golden Tanuki: The Legendary Three Leaf Shinobi" when Naruto opened the door. He didn't even need to look up to know who it was and where he'd been; training had obviously been a lot of work and he smelled horrible. "Hey, Kiba."

He lowered the book and glowered at the blue-eyed Genin. "Naruto. Towels are upstairs, in the closet beside your room. Bathroom's two doors down. Get a shower."

The blonde started and glared. "Hey, don't tell me what to do."

"My house, my rules. And you might want to get some sheets, I don't think your bed has any."

"I didn't _want_ to come live here, Kiba. You can't just order me around like-"

"Naruto!"

"What?"

"Go take a fucking shower already. You smell like piss and I don't want it in my house." Oh, right. The kitsune had forgotten about Kiba's freakish sense of smell, the way he always carried his mutt around right under his nose like that. He glared nails at the canine-nin, then finally yielded, trudging towards the stairs.

"Dick."

"Just get up there." Then, because he _had_ to say something nice, he had _money_ riding on it, "I'll take care of your bed." He continued reading for another second, just to get to a good stopping place, then as he heard the steady flow of water upstairs, he put the book face-down and jogged up the stairs, throwing the closet door open. Good, Naruto had taken a towel. He didn't want water dripped all over his carpet and the blonde seemed like the kind of person to completely trash the bathroom with fifteen minutes of use. He grabbed a fitted sheet, a regular sheet, and a handful of pillowcases and ducked into the guest bedroom.

He had just pulled the comforter over the whole thing when the flow of water in the bathroom cut off with a slight gurgle. Kiba threw the pillows on top of the blankets and moved for the door; he had to make dinner, especially if, which seemed sort of likely, making dinner for two people took twice as long as making dinner for one. Maybe Naruto would make his own. He'd probably prefer just ramen, any... way...

The bathroom door swung open and Naruto, clad only in a towel wrapped haphazardly around his waist in his normal 'oh my god, there're _other_ people in the world, too?' manner, walked out, a wide grin on his face. His tan face was slightly flushed from the heat of the shower, his yellow hair was darkened to a burnt copper and hanging in sodden locks down his face, and his skin- god, there was so _much_ of it, which sounded stupid even just in Kiba's thoughts- was slightly shiny with the droplets of moisture running down it.

And wasn't that analysis a little in-depth to be thinking about _Naruto_?

_Oh, shit._

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A/N: Another short chapter. D: I'm working on making them longer, I really am. But I like this chapter. It makes me smile. Reviews are always appreciated.

FanFiction decided against hyphens, now. Why does it hate my linebreaks so much? D:


	4. The World's Biggest Implied Nosebleed

Chapter Four

by Ember

A/N: Damn you, Hinata! Get out of my ficcies!

I don't like Hinata. I really don't like Hinata. And yet here she is, interposing herself in her quiet girl-scout ninja way. (The role of the female ninja bothers me a little bit. Kinda like the girl scouts, where the scoutmasters are all like, 'See, girls can be scouts, too! Now finish weaving your baskets so we can make s'mores for the boys when they get back from their Wilderness Survival Hike!) ... I will admit to being a raving feminist. Hmm.

Once more, thanks so much for all your reviews:

Pickle-Kitten: Mmm... Almost-nudity...

Lost in the Shadows:D! Thanks.

gothangel123: Ooh, you think so? I try so hard at decent humor... And usually fail... Well, thanks again!

SimplyTurquoise: Kiba makes a fun pov to write from, actually... A nice varience from Naruto and Sasuke.

Rarity88: Aw, thanks!

...: Hmm. When I got my Review Alert e-mail thingy, that wasn't what I had expected. Well, I'm glad you like this pairing, though I must say I have a soft spot in my heart for SasuNaru... (And by all means, write yourself a threesome fic! There's bound to be an audience somewhere for it. :D I'd read it...)

Amekan: Aw, fangirlish squeals are flattering. Thanks!

Spectre: Yes. XD Thank you!

dbzneon: InoKiba? (Similar to ...'s idea of InoNaruKiba...) Hmm.

Fairady: XD Ino rocks.

Metrime: ...Aw! That review made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :D Thanks so much!

Chaotic Demon: I'm taking that as a complimentary emoticon... Thanks!

Toboe: Heheh... I'm so glad to have people get into my stories... It really sucks to have something up that no one ever reviews and it feels like your talking to a wall, so I was really glad when I started writing Naruto stories and found out that everyone who reads them seems to kick incredible amounts of ass...! It's very uplifting; hey, I don't really suck! Thanks a lot!

Goddess of Oblivion:D:D! Really? I'll have to look harder because I've never seen any fic with this pairing, but reviews have pointed out that they DO exist. Thanks for reviewing:D

Oh, and one more thing, everyone- tomorrow- or today, depending on when this gets up on the site- Ember is going to take her Learner's Permit Test! Yaaay! I'll almost be independant! Wish me luck :D

¤¤¤¤

But it's just the price I pay

Destiny is calling me

Open up my eager eyes

I'm Mr. Brightside

Oh, god, he was staring.

¤¤¤¤

No! He wasn't! Kiba snapped his gaze to past Naruto, at the open bathroom door, from which clouds of faint mist were pouring like dry ice in water on the set of a bad vampire movie, smelling faintly of citrus shampoo and sharp soap and warm water. The mix of scent and hot mist made the air a little heady; his head felt light, and it was easy to confuse what had to be a infusion of heat inside of him, but couldn't be- a _blush_- with the humid air around him.

"Kiba?" Naruto cocked his head slightly to the side, blue eyes narrowed, the tangled mass of his hair trailing water down his face. "Are you alright?"

A deep breath to steady him. It would be better if the air was cooler, could bring some relief to the warmth around his face, but he took what he was given. "Naruto." Hey, his voice sounded almost normal! That was steadying; he could really quickly shove aside the fact that he had been affected at all and get on completely steady ground. Steady was good. No one wants to fall over. "Why are you walking around half-naked in my house?"

The blonde blinked, like he was surprised it had been noticed. "Uh... Because my clothes are in my bag." Then, just in case Kiba had forgotten, he jabbed his finger towards his room, the door still wide open, the bed now neatly made and the bag in question lying on the floor. He had never really felt self-conscious before, but Kiba was making him a trifle uncomfortable, looking like he'd never seen a guy's chest before. But he couldn't really avoid it because Kiba was still standing between him and his room, looking a little less shell-shocked and a little more in-control, but still completely still.

God, what _was_ it about Team 8? Was he really that much of a shocking specimen that first Hinata, now Kiba, would start acting like this? (At least Shino acted weird around _everyone_, and didn't just pick out Naruto; the other two Genin were starting to freak him out.)

Kiba rolled his eyes, a very low growl building in the back of his throat. If Naruto was to judge, it was an exasperated growl, and while he wasn't really good at dog noises, he was pretty good at identifying exasperation. "You idiot. Get dressed." And then, seeming to notice he was the major impediment to that task, he moved aside, letting the blonde slip past. The canine-nin decided _against_ turning around- there were some things he didn't _want_ to see, after all, didn't think he could really, honestly, handle seeing- and instead talked to the far end of the hall, loudly enough that the retreating kitsune could hear. "You want me to make you something to eat?"

"What're you making?"

The larger Genin rolled his eyes again, turning to face the guest room when he heard the blessed click of the door closing. "Food, idiot. Rice. Meat. Anonymous meal A." Kiba didn't know many recipes and didn't name the ones he made up on the spot; there was no point and next to no chance he'd remember what he did the next time he wanted something to eat.

Naruto, however, wasn't entirely certain he trusted 'Anonymous meal A.' It sounded like prison food, to him. He pulled his orange pants on over his hastily-donned boxers and fished around in his bag for curry-flavored cup ramen. "Nah. I'll heat up something later."

His host shrugged and started for the stairs, calling over his shoulder, "Suit yourself." There was no response to confirm or deny if Naruto had heard him. The canine-nin moved downstairs, into the kitchen, where he fired up the stove and enjoyed a couple minutes of concentrating on nothing but cooking. He had a very freeform technique to it, actually- heat something, throw stuff together, and stop when it smells really good. Akamaru wandered in and sat down to promptly start begging, whining when his efforts were rewarded by a low warning growl and nothing else.

When it smelled done and he got hungry enough that it was no longer worth it to try further experimentation, Kiba shut off the heat and shoveled the food- rice, chunks of chicken seasoned with something that made it unusually peppery and colored it a sort of off-green, pieces of a nameless green vegetable- probably a pepper of some sort, but who could tell after a few minutes of stir-fry?- a few other odds and ends he'd had floating around- onto a plate and threw a pair of chopsticks into the pile. Akamaru sidled up to his chair but backed away when he got hit with the business end of a sharp glare. He knew the system, anyway; if he acted like he was well-behaved enough not to beg, he got the leftovers. All he had to do was act meek and admonished.

He heard Naruto on his way down the stairs, and smelled the faint leftover sting of soap mixed with his... well, Naruto-scent. "Hey, Kiba," the familiar, obnoxious voice yelled down as the small body landed with a thunk at the foot of the stairs, "that smells almost non-toxic! What is it?"

Kiba broke the chopsticks apart and poked at the mound of his food. "It's my dinner, Naruto." There wasn't very much of it- he had made it with the full intention of being the only person who was going to eat it- but he had _money_ riding on his being nice. "You want any?"

In sixteen years of life, Naruto had gotten good at figuring out when people really didn't want to say something, and said it just to make themselves out to be better people than they were. Kiba had never been guilty of that particular offense before, and it surprised him; his classmate had never seemed to care about looking like a good person- or, for that matter, about _being_ a good person at all. The blonde poked his head into the kitchen, glanced at the canine-nin, and shrugged. "Nah. I'll make my own dinner in a second."

The larger Genin grabbed a mouthful between the sticks and stuffed it into his mouth, swallowing before replying, "Go ahead now, if you want. I won't be in the way, I'm done."

With a shrug, the kitsune pried the paper lid off the ramen, ran water into the Styrofoam cup, and popped it into the microwave. Akamaru wandered over to the blonde's feet, inspected his ankles, decided his activities weren't as interesting as the prospect of free food, and trotted back to Kiba. The canine-nin stuffed another mouthful of his culinary creation into his mouth and leaned onto his elbow, propped up on the table, openly studying his blonde guest, who was watching the flickering numbers on the microwave with the same scrutiny that Akamaru used on Kiba's chopsticks. _So. What do I say now? How exactly do you go about something like this? _Ino would know. Ino knew the fine- and blunt, and downright blatant- points of letting someone know you liked them (or think you liked them, anyway), she'd be adept at something like this. Kiba wasn't; he'd never given it much thought but he'd always naturally assumed he'd be good at it when the time arose that he'd need to ask a girl out. He hadn't expected that he'd _ever_ do something as stupid as get himself involved in something like this and now that he was, he found it a lot more uncomfortable than he'd thought it would be.

What he needed... was a plan. A good plan. Or, at least a starting point, like a date or something...

Hey! A date or something!

"Hey, Naruto-" A knock on the door interrupted him before he could finish, which was perhaps for the best because while he had framed his question to the point of 'would you like to go,' he hadn't figured out what to say after that. Both boys jumped at the sound, and Akamaru let loose a quiet, half-hearted bark at the intruder, then settled his eyes back on Kiba's plate.

"Get the door, Naruto?"

"This is _your_ house."

"I'm eating."

"I'm cooking!"

"You're cooking cup ramen!"

The blonde rolled his eyes and stormed out of the kitchen, shooting a death-glare over his shoulder. The second lost argument in under an hour; this didn't bode well for his stay. Kiba snorted then ignored him, focusing on his meal and the less immediate problem of what, exactly, a 'date' with Naruto would entail. The door opened in the hallway, a slight creak accompanying its swing.

"Hell- oh! Hi!"

"Na- Naruto! What... What are you... do- doing here?"

Oh, shit. Hinata. Kiba had completely forgotten the Hyuuga and her crush; when Hinata came over, what would he do with Naruto? Not only could the shy girl completely and totally ruin his bet with Ino, but it wasn't like they'd _ever_ get training done when she couldn't get so far as to speak coherently. He sighed internally, pushed his chair back and got up, ("What are you doing here, Hinata?" "Oh.. is Ki- Kiba around here?") crossing the distance between him and the two other Genin in a few short strides. Naruto was leaning against the frame of the door, looking a little uncomfortable, and Hinata was staring at his feet, unmoving, looking every second or so like she was about to say something, then stopping.

"Oh, hi, Hinata," Kiba said, smoothly stepping in behind the blonde. He shot her a glare that said, _not now, Hinata,_ but she didn't see it. She still seemed incapable of looking up.

"Hi, Kiba," she managed without stammering, a great achievement when around Naruto. "Ah... I was... wondering, if you wanted... later, I mean... to tr-train. With me. I got a couple new... new shruiken... I wanted to test them..."

Naruto looked from the white-eyed Genin to her canine teammate, and grinned knowingly to himself, moving gingerly off to the right, in front of Kiba's shoulder, so the two didn't have to look over his head. Kiba didn't really notice, and Hinata, who wasn't looking over his head anyway, didn't see. He was trying to catch the Hyuuga's eye, but after a second admitted to himself that he wasn't going to win a battle against Hinata's shy nature. A quick dismissal would be the best way to get rid of her. "No, thanks, Hinata. I think I'm gonna eat then go ahead and go to bed. Anyway, it was great seeing you..."

No such luck. "Hey, I'll spar with you if you want, Hinata," Naruto ventured, hopefully, happily and ignorantly ruining Kiba's entire day. "I need to train and you're a pretty good fighter, from what I've seen..."

Kiba opened his mouth but Hinata, not seeing that he was about to talk, accidentally cut him off. "I- I- I'd like that," she managed, a light pink blush slowly commandeering her face. "Er... can we meet... in front of my house... ah... in two hours...?"

No. Oh, no, that wouldn't work. Hinata couldn't just snatch Naruto away like that, not when Kiba had money riding on him winning the game. Until he was done with this, the blonde was _his_, not Hinata's, and he wasn't going to let the white-eyed chick just come and snatch him away like that. He swallowed hard to get rid of a lump in his throat and coiled his left arm over the kitsune's shoulders, the hand dangling over his collarbone. "Actually, Naruto- I'm sorry I didn't mention this earlier, but I have something I'd like you to help me with." Hinata was going to hate him forever, if he had to keep going with this act; he hoped Naruto didn't question, hoped he just backed up with him and let him close the door and explain what exactly he was doing, to save both of their dignity, and poor Hinata's emotional state.

"What? What do you need help with?" The blonde tried to writhe away from his grip, but Kiba's arm stiffened and held him in place.

_Damn you, Naruto._ But if he walked off alone with Hinata like that... the Hyuuga wasn't stunningly beautiful, or articulate, but she had one up over Kiba- she didn't have to act at all, she really, _really_ liked Naruto. And she wasn't scared in the least to let everyone around her know- excepting solely Naruto, who never seemed to catch on. Damn it- if Hinata dragged him off, there was a pretty decent chance that the bet would already be lost, Ino's plan ruined, everything screwed up. If Kiba went through with this, Hinata would be crushed. She really did like Naruto. Not to mention the poor canine-nin's pride.

But he didn't have a choice, did he? His pride would be tatters either way, if Ino walked around spreading rumors about the impotent Genin. Which of course she would, even if to only get revenge for having her plan ruined, and maybe just for attention's sake.

Kiba bit his tongue- his pointed canines almost drew blood- as he slid his hand into the neck of Naruto's shirt, under the cloth, against the skin. It was really surprisingly soft, warm, against his palm. He spread his fingers and explored his roommate's chest, the subtle knotting of muscle, the warm stretch of skin, his claws unconsciously tracing light little paths. The blonde's back stiffened suddenly against Kiba's stomach, his shoulders knotting and the blades pressing together. Kiba pitched his voice low and tried to keep it from quavering, or shaking, or faltering, or changing pitch. "I'll tell you later."

The kitsune's face was red, his dark 'whiskers' showing in stark contrast against the beet shade. Kiba felt his own blush slowly spread its burning wings across his cheekbones, but he didn't move except to reach over Naruto's head with his free arm and grasp the edge of the door. "Well, sorry, Hinata; some other time." The Hyuuga looked... like her head was about to explode. Embarrassment and hurt chased their tails across her face, and Kiba felt his throat close with corresponding sympathy and guilt. He looked away. "I'll see you later, alright?" _Thank god she doesn't gossip. Thank _god_ she barely talks... _

"Ah... alright." If she said anything else, it was cut off by the door closing. Kiba pulled his arm free and backed away from the blonde, giving him a little breathing room, which was apparently immediately taken advantage of by the loud outburst, immediately following on the larger shinobi's heels.

"What the _fuck_ was that about, Kiba?" Naruto snapped, loudly, backing an extra pace away from his host. "What the- What the hell got into you, just then? You decide to have some sudden swing in sexuality or something?"

Kiba smirked and hesitated in answering, making a show of wiping the offending hand on his pants, vigorously trying to rid his palm of the incriminating warmth. What did he say, now? He was cornered; the bet was still safe but he was in it deep. It didn't do any good to let his trick backfire, have Naruto tell everyone that _Kiba_ liked _him_. Urgh.

"Ah... Naruto." Serious was always good. Sounding serious confused Naruto. "I didn't want you to hurt Hinata." There. That sounded right, sounded official, sounded like him; the Hyuuga was like a little sister to him, and he really _didn't_ want anyone hurting her.

"Dude. You gave her a brain aneurysm!" Of course, the kitsune had a point, too.

"It's better than having her heart broken, you know." Alright, here's where the gamble would come in. If he told Naruto that Hinata liked him, and the blonde liked her back, the bet was dust. If Naruto didn't like the _Hyuuga_ in that way, Kiba telling him would clear up what he'd done to get rid of her and they'd go back to square one- nothing lost, nothing gained. If he didn't tell Naruto, his game would be completely reversed. He wondered if he'd get a booby prize from Ino while he emptied his account into her pocket.

The thing about gambling is that one you take a chance, you can't go back. Kiba'd made his bet, with Ino earlier, and now he had to stick with it, had to try and see the whole damn thing through. So he said, "She likes you, you know. If you had gone off with her... she would have thought... that you were going to go out with her, or something. You know?"

For a long moment, blue eyes glowered into his and Kiba frantically went over his words, trying to see whether his tone was in any way plausible enough to be considered truth. Stupid- when he was lying to Hinata it came out like a normal conversation, just like he wanted it to; when he was telling the_ truth_ to Naruto he stammered.

Then the blonde said, "Hinata likes me?"

"Yeah." More of a sigh of relief than anything else.

"_Hinata_ likes me?"

"Yeah." More firm, now, insisting.

"Is _that_ what you think?"

"_Yeah_." Okay, how slow was the blonde? Not noticing it; that could be forgiven, but when it was not only played out every time you saw the girl, but then frankly addressed to you, and you still refused to believe it...? "She does."

"Oh. I get it now." Naruto was wearing a weird smile on his face, an 'I-know-what's-going-down-_now_' smile, a 'that's-a-cute-secret-but-I've-figured-it-out' smile. If Naruto wasn't such a dunce, Kiba would have been worrying; as it was, his nerves only shivered a little. He hadn't made it nearly so obvious that _Naruto_ would be able to figure out his trick, had he? Shikamaru, sure. Sakura, sure. Sasuke, probably. Naruto? Surely, not. Kiba was a better actor than _that_, he had to be.

"Get what?"

The blonde grinned cutely. It was really an annoying smile; the edges of his blue eyes crinkled just a little, the whiskers on his cheeks twisted with the contours of his face. "Not telling." And, just like that, Naruto marched into the kitchen, grabbed his lukewarm ramen, long-since done, from the microwave, and started up the stairs with it, a pair of chopsticks held firmly in his mouth.

"Naruto! Eat in the kitchen, you idiot!" No answer. Well, the kitsune _did_ have a pair on chopsticks in his mouth, and he was walking slowly to keep the ramen from spilling, both hands around the styrofoam cup. Halfway up, he paused in his path to raise one hand, middle finger callously upright, in an unquestionable gesture against the larger boy, finishing his ascent with both hands around the ramen again.

Kiba growled up the stairs, hearing the harsh sound of a door slamming shut, the quiet creak of it opening again, and a familiar, rude voice yelling, "Fuck off, Kiba."

The canine-nin rolled his eyes, turned back to the kitchen, and finished his meal, scraping his leftovers into Akamaru's food dish before throwing the dirty plate into the sink and the chopsticks into the trash. He had to think- not about Hinata, not for now (though he _had_ to make that up to her somehow), not about what Naruto had figured out, whatever that was, not about some sort of grand ploy to mark Konoha as his own.

He had to think over the relatively simple problem of asking out one, single, underwhelmingly charismatic boy.

Now, where had he stopped? _Hey, Naruto, would you like to go...?_

_Ah... to go..._

_To go..._

Kiba groaned and buried his face in his hands. This was hopeless.

¤¤¤¤

Shikamaru looked at Ino through half-lidded eyes, then closed them, rolled them skywards, and folded his arms tighter under his head. She was moving again. He kept telling her that the point of relaxing was to _not_ move, but she never understood- not that it mattered, or even that he got annoyed, but she would never learn how to just enjoy the art of doing nothing if she insisted on always doing _something_.

"You know, maybe I should have started him off with something more to go by." This was not only her current sentiment, but in fact a recurring one, one which in fact Shikamaru was starting to get tired of. "I mean, does he know how to go forward at all? I don't think he's _ever_ dated anyone."

Not for the first time, Shikamaru replied, "You moved them in together. I don't know how much _more _he'd want, Ino." Now if she would just shut up, he was in the middle of a very nice daydream...

"But this is _Kiba_. Sometimes I don't know how he gets into his _own_ pants." She grimaced in disgust and Shikamaru fought down a ghost of a grin.

"You keep picking at it, don't you?"

Ino frowned down at him, toying with the blonde lengths of her hair. "How do you mean?"

He smirked back, not really bothering to even move enough to look at her. This annoyed her, but she didn't comment. "It's like a scab, and you won't leave it alone. You did something, so let it be already." He didn't feel much like elaborating so he let it rest.

Ino didn't pout so much as grimace again. "And leave it to Kiba."

For a second, Shikamaru waited for her to agree- grudgingly, albeit- that his was the best course of action, but the lingering silence proved that to be an exercise in futility. "You really will not let go of it, will you?" he asked half-heartedly.

He didn't have to try and look at her to know the grin that had taken over her face, the grin of challenge accepted. He could hear it in her voice. "Shika, I thought you _knew_ me. Of course I won't!" She started to pace and Shikamaru sighed, his efforts- if anything he did could really be called an 'effort'- to get Ino to relax and just let life go by abandoned. "This is _my_ plan, and I plan to see it through, not trust it to some pseudo dog."

Shikamaru closed his eyes and then flicked his gaze back over to the blonde. "You won't just let it heal. You have to keep picking at it."

For a second, he thought the girl was going to start laughing, but then Ino only grinned and tossed the lock of hair she was toying with over her shoulder coyly. "Well, if I don't pick at it, it won't hurt, Shika. And if it doesn't hurt, no one will believe I was part of it at all."

To give her credit, it wasn't often anyone ever outwitted Shikamaru- but he couldn't think of a damn thing to say to that.

¤¤¤¤

Naruto did _try_ to read, but nothing, not even _Tips and Techniques for Aspiring Shinobi_ or _The Seven Habits of Highly Successful Hokages-to-be_ could really keep his attention for very long. He left the brightly-covered books on the floor and instead reclined on his bed, still not tired enough to go to sleep but without quite the right amount of incentive to train. He wished Kiba hadn't interrupted Hinata when she'd wanted to train, but he understood that. Really, he did- it would take a stupider Genin than _he_ not to understand what Kiba had wanted, and as a truly brilliant, deeply clever, creative genius Naruto understood one-hundred percent what was going on.

It was painfully obvious, for someone of his particular intellect- Kiba and Hinata were desperately, madly in love with each other.

You know, deep inside, it was _obvious_, at least to Naruto. Kiba hadn't wanted Naruto to go with Hinata- he had, in fact, humiliated _both_ of them to prevent the blonde from joining her, and, as an excuse, had claimed that he thought Hinata liked _Naruto_. Of course, someone who refused to see when someone really liked _them_ might think that Hinata liked Naruto, but Naruto knew that no one really liked him in that way so that wasn't a problem. He didn't mind, he didn't like Hinata like that, anyway. And even if Kiba hadn't gone to such lengths to keep his crush away from the other boy, it would have been obvious by the way they had acted, just then, at the door. Kiba had been trying to catch Hinata's eye the whole time, and the Hyuugajust _acted_ like someone in love.

_But poor Kiba._ Whoever thought he'd think _that_? Still, despite the canine-nin's history of arrogance, and slightly mean-spirited pranks, Naruto really _did_ feel sorry for him. After all, he still thought Hinata liked Naruto, and didn't know that his unquestionable love was in fact returned, zealously (or at least as zealously as Hinata could feel something as passionate as love; she was awfully shy for sweeping romance). In fact, the only person who seemed to see through the two teammates was Naruto.

_Hmm._

For the record, he didn't _want_ to help Kiba. Roommates or no, half-hearted friends or no, he didn't _want_ the canine-nin to get what he wanted without much effort; he really _wanted_ some begging on the part of the brown-haired shinobi, _wanted_ to say no a couple of times before generously seceding and setting them up, not only the better ninja and the better practical rebel, but the better person, as well.

But Kiba wouldn't _admit_ to liking Hinata. And Naruto didn't have the attention span to wait until his current roommate was desperate.

And so he had to be the preliminary better person. Well, things could be worse.

¤¤¤¤

A/N: Alright, this one was a little longer. And hell, it's done! Yay! I get half a cookie. Well, there you have it. Some of it. This was a fun chapter; poor Kiba's going to have to deal with a lot of pressure soon. And Naruto will face many, many failings of his Grand Master Plan on account of Kiba and Hinata not actually liking each other... Well. Heh. As usual, reviews are appreciated, and I love everyone who has already reviewed.


	5. Involving Handwriting

Chapter Five

by Ember

A/N: Thanks, everyone:D I actually DID pass my test, so I now have my Learner's Permit! If you live in the state of Maryland, may I suggest you vacate the roads immediately! Review replies and such:

Acesgirl: Thanks:D Mmm... Smut... People on this fic seem more perverted than a reviewers I've had past, and it makes me unexpectedly happy.

Tyranimo: Heh. Indeed.

Fairady: Thanks for the good luck:D:D I'm so happy I passed. And that analysis is pretty much exactly head-on for the plot...

Kira-sama: Gah, I know! She annoys me. ()... And so you know, your review made me laugh. VERY much true, heh... And see Acesgirl's reply.

Pickle-Kitten: Much love...

gothangel123:D Thanks again! Ah... No, I wasn't intending for Shikamaru and Ino to be a pairing, in fact, I'm TRYING to get Shikamaru with Sasuke. Given that both Sasuke and Shikamaru have been cameo appearances at best, that's really not going well... ()

Anjo: Thanks:D

Metrime: Hmm, really? I had gone the thought train that Shikamaru wouldn't really help with it, but wouldn't do anything against it, or really bother protesting... Thanks for the CC, though, I'll keep it in mind!

MaximilianShade: Thanks for the review, support noted! As always, CC will remain in the back of my mind, forever and always or until the fic is finished.

Goddess of Oblivion: Glad to help:D 'Cause you reviewed, and I wouldn't want any weird psychological trauma to happen to you. Thanks!

Shades of Hades: Thank you! I can't wait to write some. D

Mr. Brightside ended. D: So we begin with Blink 182, Feeling This. I'm being unusually concise, today. D:

¤¤

I gotta regret right now

I'm feeling this

The air is so cold and null

I'm feeling this

Let me go in her room

I'm feeling this

I wanna take off her clothes

I'm feeling this

¤¤

Naruto woke up with a conviction.

The way _he_ saw it, he owed it to Kiba to help out a friend- or, you know, at least a peer- when he was needed, and Kiba, for all he tried to emulate Naruto's genius, just wasn't the same level of caliber that the blonde was. Moreover, there was the point that when Naruto needed _someone_ to take him in, and the only other option was living with the living stone Shino, Kiba had all but volunteered. Alright, perhaps he hadn't _volunteered_, or come close to volunteering, but he could have been a lot more bitchy about it. And he _was_, currently,really lost without Naruto. He didn't have the blonde's specific talents, his hidden brilliance, or really _anything_ of the nature that would get him and Hinata together. And so, really, one could make the argument that he _needed_ Naruto. Perhaps one could even say he needed Naruto much, much more than the blonde had ever needed _him_.

Throwing a new set of bright orange training clothes on, pulling the forehead protector on over his hair and grabbing a brush, he slowly walked towards the bathroom, finding it only on the second try. He hated living in a strange house, he got disoriented. He was dressed, hair once more victorious in a half-hearted battle against the rats nest it was tangled into, and had brushed his teeth and washed his face when the idea came to him, a little at a time. It was simple, but genius shinobi knew that the most simple of all plans could turn into brilliance, real brilliance, Naruto-brilliance, with the proper attention to detail- and Naruto knew just how to carry it out.

He finished getting ready and, grinning like the brilliant Genin he was, strode downstairs to greet his roommate.

¤¤¤¤

Kiba, meanwhile, was stuck.

He jogged to catch up to Hinata and Shino, realizing a second too late that he was lagging behind and that the small crowd on the street was about to separate him from the other two, and slowed to a walk right behind the insect-nin. Akamaru, perched happily on his head, looked left and right, from person to person and enjoying the occasional 'Aw, how cute' from passerbys, blissfully oblivious to the turmoil in his master's mind. The Team sounded really, really quiet when Kiba was thinking; without him, Hinata and Shino didn't really make for stunning conversation. Mouth quirked ironically, he pulled himself out of the maelstrom of his thoughts and listened for a second.

"Ah... it's been cold, lately. But it's nice, today..." Hinata's voice trailed off as she realized she was talking to essentially no one.

Whether he felt sorry for her or just wanted to reward the good college try, Shino said, "Hn." Which was, really, much more verbal than he usually got, unless one got him on the subject of the differences between mosquitoes and june bugs. Which Kiba, for one, was _not_ in the mood to get into, at the time, if it could be said that he ever was. His morning with Naruto- the first morning they'd spent as roommates- had gone pretty much as bad as he could have possibly hoped.

"Morning," he'd offered, pointing to a plate with a fried egg balanced carefully beside only slightly-burned toast. Naruto had said nothing, only came in with a very self-satisfied smile, reclined almost gracefully into his chair, and started into his breakfast. Kiba turned and raised one eyebrow, watching the blonde as he ate. (Truth be told, he'd expected gross sounds at best, but Naruto actually had some table etiquette, to the extent of keeping his elbow hovering a good inch and a half off the table and his eating noises minimal.) "Cheerful this morning," he said finally, encompassing his surprise at the kitsune's seemingly baseless happiness.

He suddenly remembered Naruto's anger from the night before- and the reasons for it, though really, he might have gone a while yet without remembering _that_, and he could still feel the weird stir that had made of his chest- and then how the blonde had come to some sort of internal 'understanding...' _Oh, god_. He didn't... think... that Kiba actually... that he _thought_... ah... _wanted_... err... And he wouldn't... he wasn't... _glad_ because of it...

_Well_, the little sadist-voice that so reminded him of Ino said in his skull, seemingly oblivious to the warm wings of a blush that was spreading across the canine-nin's face, luckily angled away from his roommate, _that _was_ the plan, after all._

The blonde seemed indifferent to his thoughts, and gestured with a bite of egg that Akamaru was quite certain was about to fall. "It's nothing." Then, unable to keep his mouth closed when there was some form of swaggering to be done, he said, "_I_ have a plan."

Kiba, who'd had about enough of 'plans' to last him the rest of his life, resisted shoving the handle of the wooden spoon he held down his own throat until he choked on it. He managed a vaguely uninterested "Kickass," and looked at his roommate from the corner of his eye, wondering just what a Naruto-plan consisted of. He had a glint in his eye that made it obvious that he was up to _something_, though Kiba had no clue what that something was. Desecration? No, not with _that_ glint. Kiba had seen _that_ glint before; every one their age in Konoha had and some adults even knew it. _That_ glint meant trouble, it meant something that Naruto thought was pure genius, which was most often something of unrivaled, tactless, incredible stupidity.

So long as it didn't involve him.

Naruto, it was obvious, was disappointed by his reaction. "You don't want to know what it is?"

"I'm sure it's... brilliant." He hadn't meant for it to come out sarcastically- he honestly hadn't- but old habits die hard and it just.. slipped as a snide comment.

And Naruto bristled in response. "Maybe it is! And maybe it's gonna be _for you_ so maybe you should _try_ and be a little nicer, you bastard!"

_For him?_ Kiba all but winced. How, fucking _how_, did he end up being caught in the middle of this sort of thing? Something nice seemed to be expected out of him, though, so because he had money riding on it, he managed a muttered, "Sorry..."

"Hmm."

"...idiot." Maybe that one hadn't slipped.

"Am not!" Finished with his breakfast, Naruto left the dirty plate on the table and shoved past Kiba, who was shoveling eggs onto a new plate for himself, and bolted outside, glaring nails as he left. "You bastard!" Pretty much ignoring the blonde's continued, shouted insults, the canine-nin had sighed and started into his own breakfast. So now he was in the middle of one of Naruto's 'brilliant' plots as well as one of Ino's? What luck.

And this was pretty much the extent of Kiba's thoughts as they walked- marched, really; it was quiet enough it was almost like being on a mission, sneaking into enemy territory- to meet Kurenai. He still hadn't gotten much more thought on the ever-perplexing problem of asking Naruto _out_. There was no way he was going to get that far, not now, not with yet _more_ on his mind.

He sighed when they finally met up with Kurenai and prepared to lose himself in a spar with Hinata. At least he wouldn't be expected to think.

¤¤¤¤¤¤

Kakashi had wanted them to meet at noon so Naruto still had a good two hours after Kiba _finally_ left to meet his Team. It had taken the canine-nin half an hour to eat and get ready, time spent by the blonde on the roof on their apartment, watching for his roommate's exit.

Hurriedly, he walked back inside, running in he and Kiba's apartment and closing the door behind him. The smells of breakfast still hovered in the air but the kitchen had been cleaned up, Akamaru's dishes put beside the sink to be cleaned when he and Kiba got home. Naruto looked in the small, pale green room, a little impressed by Kiba's initiative, then jogged upstairs, poking around in the first three doors- two closets and the bathroom- for anything written on, or signed, or subject to graffiti. He found a towel with golden thread embroidery, but that was as close as he came and that didn't really work. He skipped his room because he knew it wasn't going to help and the only other room was the laundry room, which proved about as helpful as the rest, which was of course not at all.

Then he came to Kiba's room.

He almost tripped- metaphorically- over a note from Hinata on his way in, a simple thing scrawled _Meet me by Ichimaru's tomorrow at noon if you have time to; Shino and I are sparring and we thought you might come, if you wanted._ With a broad grin he shoved it in his pocket and scoured the room, picking through the drawers in the canine-nin's bedside table but finding nothing more interesting than a puppy-comb, a few stray pens, a pamphlet on basic training for small dogs, a couple dusty dog treats- _for Akamaru or Kiba?_- a few handfuls of loose change, and- _ew!-_ a condom.

His fingers avoided the last as if they were repelled by a magnetic force. _Who would sleep with _Kiba_, anyway?_ Well, he supposed Hinata would, after all. The thought made him unexpectedly uncomfortable so, grabbing the pen farthest away from offending foil packet and thus least infected by... Kiba sex potential... he shut the drawer.

On top of the table was nothing more than a lamp, the bookshelf had only _books_ on it, the closet was filled with clothes on coat hangers, and his dresser was filled with more-or-less organized (at least compared with Naruto's standards) odds and ends- a couple spare kunai and shruiken, a tiny red collar Naruto assumed had been Akamaru's as a puppy, a framed picture of a parent or older sibling, folded in neatly, a black-and-white _Lassie_ movie, a chain-link leash- _Kiba sex potential! Gah!_- and various other flotsam, mostly things one would expect a canine-nin to have folded away. Naruto stumbled upon an ancient stuffed border collie in the third drawer and grinned evilly, picking it up and turning it over to run his finger over loose sticking and the frayed, pointed ears. Unfortunately, it would be hard to tease Kiba about it without admitting he was in his room. Damn.

Desperate, he got on the floor and looked, first under the dresser, then under the bed, but the room was dishearteningly clean and there was nothing, no crumpled piece of paper or anything else, with Kiba's handwriting on it. The bed was covered in short, blonde dog hairs, the covers wrinkled but the whole picture more-or-less made up, and it didn't have anything useful lying in the middle. He pulled himself sitting up and stuck his hand under the canine-nin's mattress, searching, then threw the pillows aside, certain that there had to be _something_ Kiba had written on in his own bedroom.

A black spiral notebook had been hidden discreetly under the pile of pillows. _Thank god! Finally!_

He grabbed it and flipped it open to a random page. _November seventh, went sparring with Shino. Hinata was sick so she stayed home, which always sucks ass because then Shino doesn't have to act like he's a civilized human being. Fuck. Bastard smashed my balls in and damned near literally..._

Naruto's original plan- or at least the original plan he had thought of within three seconds of finding the notebook- of discovering Kiba's inner secrets stopped there. The blonde closed the journal with a snap and tucked it under his arm; he needed the handwriting, but he did _not_ need the inner thoughts of his roommate. Not now. Maybe he'd keep it, though, for blackmail purposes.

First, however- he had a plan to carry out!

He ran back to his own room, starting to hide the journal under his pillow, then stopping and hiding it behind the books in his bookcase. He put the pen on the second shelf, vowing to find some paper when he got back from training with Kakashi. He paused in the doorway, looking back, from the hiding place of the journal to his bag to Kiba's slightly ajar door. He thought back to the night before, to Kiba acting really weird and Hinata acting... like Hinata acted. He did that, thought back to that... incident, more than he liked to think, these past couple hours. He still hadn't been able to get rid of the lingering warmth of the handprint on his chest. _God, pretending that he... ew. Liked _me_ like _that_, like he was some kind of... eww. He must have been really, really desperate for Hinata-chan's attention, to do something like _that.

He looked back to where he had so cleverly hidden the notebook and grinned to himself, suddenly cheerful beside the heated handprint. _For a genius with better stuff to do with my time, I am a _remarkably _good person._

Kiba was late, getting home. Maybe they'd had a mission or something, or maybe he was just staying late into his spar; it didn't really matter to Naruto because while the canine-nin was gone, the blonde got the house to himself- and, he didn't have to deal with Akamaru, who seemed to have a sort of grudge against the kitsune, perhaps spurred by how much he smelled like fox.

The kitsune had writing to be done; he sat in his room, surrounded by crumpled sheets of white paper, sucking on the end of the pen he'd filched from Kiba's room. After a second, hit by something posing as inspiration, he wrote:

_Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_I want to be Hokage_

_And I want you._

Naruto read it over, pleased by the mock-Kiba handwriting, but the wording was definitely Naruto. He didn't even know if Kiba _wanted_ to be Hokage. He didn't know if Kiba wanted to be anything but a Genin.

_Let me count the ways I love you_

_I love you like a summer's day_

_Like a friend... and a teammate... and..._

He frowned at the paper, then crumpled that one, too, and threw it away. It was his fifth attempt at poetry alone, but he didn't even know _how_ that poem was supposed to go and he still didn't know how to phrase it in a Kiba-like way. Who knew if the canine-nin held anything remotely traceable as romantic in that thick-ass skull of his? Who even knew if the canine-nin was _literate_?

_Violets are blue_

_Roses are red_

_There's no one I want more_

_Giving me..._

Naruto read over this last one and cackled evilly as he crumpled it, too, and threw it with the others. The world just wasn't _ready_ for his genius! It was disheartening to have to throw another one away, though. He thought for another second and wrote again, crumpled that sheet, and tried yet again, this time slowly, thinking over each word, carefully sketching the letters so they looked all but identical to Kiba's shapes.

_Hey, Hinata, I just wanted to tell you that I..._ He paused; saying 'love you' would be a little bit false-sounding so he settled for, _feel really strongly about you. I..._ How would he put this? _...love being your teammate and cherish..._ would Kiba use the word 'cherish?' Probably not. Naruto crossed it out and put, _...enjoy your friendship. I'd like it to become more. Please meet me..._ No! Naruto bit his lip and crossed out those last three words, almost not catching it before he'd written out more than he could edit. Making up a date between Hinata and Kiba would have to wait, though it was a good idea for later; the canine-nin wouldn't be cooperative, especially as Naruto had no reason for helping him and every reason to drag him out to no where and laugh his ass off at his gullible romanticism, and the blonde would end up accidentally setting Hinata up.

He paused to read over the note, trying to think of a convincing conclusion. Ah... _I really care about you and I need to know how you feel. Your's, Kiba._

There. It wasn't perfect- he'd really been hoping for a more creative outlet, like the poems or the long, dramatic notes he'd tried before them- but it wasn't entirely unbelievable that it was from Kiba, and the handwriting was at least really well-managed. He grinned to himself and re-read it, the smile fading with every word until at the end, he was scowling down at the scrawled-out words.

_Hey, Hinata, I just wanted to tell you that I feel really strongly about you. I love being your teammate and enjoy your friendship. I'd like it to become more. I really care about you and need to know how you feel. Your's, Kiba._

Ugh. Okay, maybe it was far from perfect. He was a ninja, dammit, not a poet, or a sick-ass writer like Jiraiya, and he was trying his best. He shoved the pile of reject letters into the trash can and folded the last into fourths, stuffing it in his pocket and getting ready to go out again. Maybe if he went now, Hinata would get it on her way home and think Kiba swung by ahead of her to put it in; that would be sort of romantic, right?

He all but ran to get to the Hyuuga mansion; he didn't want anyone to see him and the last time he'd checked Neji's team was still on a mission. If he got there as soon as humanly possible Hinata would never know he had ever been here. And so he ran, trying to be quiet so no one would tell the girl about the weird blonde kid going the very path a tall, broad brunette was supposed to travel and managing to draw little or no attention to himself.

He slid the note into Hinata's mailbox and grinned like an idiot to himself. Mission completed! He ran back, too, at least until he'd gotten far enough away from the scene of the crime that his heart was no longer pounding, scared he was going to get caught and all his work was going to be ruined any second, scared that Hinata might show up and wonder what he was doing, exactly. Oh, god- what if she thought he was putting it in there to flirt with her, using Kiba as a shield?

But then again, she wouldn't, would she? She thought he and Kiba had...

Naruto's face suddenly stained crimson and he cursed, quietly, to himself, repeating the same vile phrases to himself again and again. _Why_ had the canine-nin done that? What had _possibly_ possessed Kiba to act like he and Naruto were anything but grudging friends, teenage rivals and reluctant roommates? _Okay, maybe he was trying to keep me away from Hinata, maybe even make her jealous, probably show her not to have a crush on me, though I _don't_ see why he ever thought she did. But still, that was just... gross. _He thanked god Hinata wouldn't have spread rumors about them. Anyway, with Neji gone, who really did she talk to? Shino?

Why would whatever Shino thought matter?

Still, even if no one else found out, it had still been just... wrong. Damn. Who knew that Kiba had such warm hands, so damn warm he could still feel it, could still feel the palm laying hesitantly across his chest. _Shit. _

"Naruto!" The voice, the tone, and the infliction all made him jump, Ino popping up at his shoulder. Sakura was right behind her, looking a little surprised and confused that the other girl had cut off their argument for the kitsune's sake. "How're things going?"

He fought down the blush that had flared up with sudden horror that he had been caught thinking like that and grinned stupidly in response. He wanted to tell them exactly what he had been doing- wouldn't Sakura be impressed by how nice he was being?- but Ino's presence stopped him. She was grinning and as dim as the light was he could make out the slightly-crooked line of the smile. He didn't trust Ino. Idiots didn't trust Ino. No one really trusted Ino, except a couple people close to her, her Team- Teams that couldn't trust one another very, very rarely worked- and, once, Sakura. Probably not anymore. Sasuke turned girls into snakes. And if he didn't trust her in general he wouldn't trust her with the secret details of his brilliant plan. So he said, "I'm living with Kiba, what do you expect?" assuming Ino wouldn't possibly expect how things really were going, which was a little bit... unexpected?

He didn't know Ino not only expected it, but she was fairly confident of it. She smirked and brushed her hair away from her face, rolling her eyes skyward. "I would expect you two would get along."

"Then you should be careful of what you eat because someone's slipping you something." Maybe he sounded a little more harsh than normal but she _had_ startled him and some of the adrenaline had hardened into a short temper. She didn't seem too affected by it.

"I mean it," she continued, Sakura coming up behind her. "I mean, you're like, twins."

The pink-haired girl rolled her eyes, finding opportunity to prove how much smarter she was than her rival. "Yeah, Ino. Because sometimes I can't tell one from the other, when they stand next to each other..."

"Come off it," was all Naruto could say Ino.

The flower of Konoha rolled her eyes again and crossed her arms. "If you don't see it, fine. You both cause chaos across the town, you both brag about things you can't possibly actually do, you both are constantly challenging Sasuke, you, Naruto, don't have a girlfriend, and Kiba..." Her mouth curved more into a more-or-less pleasant smile and Naruto had the feeling that she was just now getting into what she had wanted to say all along. "Kiba has never been kissed."

The other two blanched in surprise. "Never?" Sakura asked, hesitantly; even she had gotten kissed, quietly or more heavily, by various one-month boyfriends. "And you shut up," said to the heavily snickering Naruto. "You were only kissed once, if I remember, and it wasn't all that spectacular, anyway."

Naruto tried the unsuccessful combination of simultaneously blushing and scowling and eventually had to fight down the former before the latter could be rightfully intimidating. Ino giggled behind her hand. "Well, it was still a kiss," she told her rival, winking at Naruto and leaving him a little confused. "Don't let him act too socially superior, Naruto."

He grinned back at her, suddenly, in his own way, understanding- she was trying to help him beat his arrogant roommate down a couple notches. He would be very, very happy to make immediate use of that information.

Ino remembered, a while ago, when Naruto and probably a couple other people set cherry bombs in the toilets, a rather overdone prank but one that still, after several repeats, could make the easily amused break up laughing. She remembered the grin on his face, the self-satisfied look when he first came in the classroom maybe thirty seconds before the first one went off, and thought maybe now she could relate to that feeling, now she could see what had made him grin like that.

If everything went according to plan- and everything would go according to plan, not even Kiba could miss this one- the explosion would be... incredible.

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A/N: Okay, when it comes to chapter length, this is MUCH better. Still not the next Great American Novel, but hell. I had less than half this when I first felt I'd gone as far as possible on the chapter and I'm glad I could add a little more. Though the plot looks like it's wandering, not really getting any closer to the original goal, it's really meandering in a preset direction, which, for me, is pretty good. Reviews get cookies.


	6. More on Failure

Chapter Six

by Ember

A/N: I am crushed by the Big Red Late stamp. Oh, the Big Red Late stamp hates me. That's why I don't ever get art trades... (The Big Red Short stamp is chasing me, too. D: Sorry, all!)

Happy much, much belated Easter everyone who celebrates it! I'm sooo high off sugar right now. It makes for good writing, really, even though the amount of typos I make while my fingers shake is astounding. Cadbury eggs should have their own food group.

Now, for a technical note. Am I exaggerating Hinata's character? She's not in this chapter but she'll snake her way back in the story next time,I think. Now characters like Sasuke, they're easier because they're really very common characters; there's one like him in almost every anime I've seen. Hinata, though... am I making her _too_ aversive and quiet? I always worry whenever I try and put her in a fic. Moreover, I don't really like this chapter anyway. It feels too rushed, which makes sense since I had to steel myself and sit down and WRITE it, which is unusual for me since usually I just sit around and wait for inspiration. D:

On the other hand, Kiba's starting to think in terms of shonen-ai. Not a whole lot but we'll see a little more as time goes on. Well, enjoy!

Replies:

...You all make me smile. :D dispenses cookies

Kira-Sama: XD I agree wholeheartedly. And I most certainly will not forget the details.

tyranimo:D

Pickle-Kitten: Whee! I was hoping I'd made Ino at least a little bit transparent... It makes for a little bit of a better story, I think. Thanks for the review!

gothangel123: Thanks so much:D

Acesgirl: Well, too slow is better than too fast, yes? Which is pretty much just repeating what your review said, but anyway. I'm tempted to just... not do a lemon, just 'cause then I'd get beaten up, but because I love you all there will be smut. :D:D Thanks again! rarity88: Yayness for Ember not horribly failing at humor! Whoo! And thanks again for reviewing!

Metrime:D Long review! Overthinking characters is never a bad thing, especially if you then use the overthoughted-ness to help critisize floundering fanfiction writers like me. I dunno whether I'll completely agree, but I need the insight. That way, next time Shika comes up, he'll be better IC. Thanks a lot!

Fairady: Thanks so much:D

MaximillainShade: Thanks!

"Everything he does is pure genius! He's unstoppable, and that makes him terrifying really, because there is no greater enemy than an idiot who doesn't understand that he is an idiot." - Jhonen Vasquez on 'Invader ZIM'

¤¤

Show me the ways you bend

I'm feeling this

Show me the ways you move

I'm feeling this

Let the obsession blur

I'm feeling this

I love all the things you do

I'm feeling this

¤¤

_Kiba,_

_We've been teammates a long time and I've considered (_spelled, "considdered"_) you my friend for longer than that. I just thought you'd like to know, that I've considered (_again, misspelled_) you as more than that to me for a long time. I heard you thought that I liked Naruto, but really, I just _act _like it around you so you think that I do when I really like you. As incredibly hot as Naruto is, (_those last six words half-heartedly crossed out but legible through the ink lines_) I love you, Kiba. _

_your friend,_

_Hinata_

Kiba read over the note once, then rolled his eyes and threw it away. The handwriting was really very convincing, but whoever was trying to bullshit him- 'whoever' being somewhat less than anonymous if one read even very shallowly into the letter- obviously didn't give much consideration for what Hinata would say in a letter. If Hinata would _write_ a love letter at all. Which she wouldn't. Not for Kiba and not for Naruto and not for anyone else that she would want to confess undying love for because of one variable in that action and that was 'confess.' Hinata might come _up_ with the idea of writing a love letter and for all Kiba knew she had books and books of heartfelt confessions- none addressed to him, of course, but all to a clueless, idiotic, stick-my-ass-in-where-it-doesn't-belong blonde- but the actual event of confession, of sending the note and waiting for feedback, was not something Hinata would do. Maybe she, in a way, had the same sentiments as Neji, where if it worked it worked out but why meddle in as good a system as fate, but either way she'd be too shy to even tell what she was feeling in writing.

And so it was all but easy to figure out that while Ino was trying to set him up with Naruto, the blonde himself was trying to set Kiba up with Hinata. And Hinata just wanted to date Naruto, if only the kitsune wasn't way too incredibly thick to figure it out. Kiba groaned and pressed the joints of his fingers into his temples, pushing Akamaru gently out of the way with the side of his foot when the little dog padded too close to his ankles. And where _was_ the blonde, anyway? Team 7 had gotten a mission but that was no reason for the kitsune to be gone all day.

"Damn him, he probably tripped and fell off Mt. Hokage before they could even start. Or got gutted halfway through it." Kiba, who'd gotten home early from training with the promise of a real mission in two days, hung his kunai against the wall and shelved the shruiken and kunai he had three-way sparred Shino and Hinata with. Hinata had been watching him oddly and, right afterward, asked him if he'd gotten any weird mail lately, the first time she'd spoken to him since trying to get him to come and train two days ago and seeing him... play with Naruto. Which probably meant _she_ was getting similar letters, which of course meant Naruto was feeding _her_ bullshit, too.

Akamaru, nonplused by the almost-kick, bounded back up to his master and whimpered slightly in response to Kiba's muttering.

When the canine-nin glared down at him, the blonde-haired little dog looked innocently up, brown eyes gone huge and round, tongue lolling out of the corner of his mouth. It was impossible to be angry at him. "I'm not _worried_ about him, Akamaru," Kiba explained with a sigh, trying to figure out how to explain this to a dog. "But it'd probably be somehow my problem if he _did_ die, Tsunade _told_ me, almost, to babysit him. And just when it would be my problem would be when he _would_ die, he couldn't do it when it would be _convenient_, oh hell no." He scowled when Akamaru snorted, the small dog pacing ahead of him. "I'm _not_ worried, mutt. Naruto can take care of himself."

The dog's response could be- and was- summed up in the flick of one ear.

"Okay. Maybe not. But Kakashi can take care of him. And he's not really a fox, Akamaru, he just smells a little bit like one."

Whatever Akamaru chose to say to that Kiba decided not to reply to, and with the dog in front and shinobi behind they moved through the house to the blonde's room. "The idiot. This place is already trashed." Stray bits of crumpled paper and waterlogged cup-ramen cups littered across the floor, which already had a few brown stains and a noodle or two tangled up in the carpet strands. Akamaru took care of the latter problem, picking the bits of food off the floor, while Kiba chose a piece of paper at random and read the contents from it with the same ginger hesitation he held it with.

It was pretty much what he had come in here to find, and pretty much what he had expected Naruto to write in a love letter. Not as concise as his, which was probably one reason it had been crumpled and left on the floor, but addressed to Hinata and signed from Kiba. And, excepting the signature which didn't really look like Kiba's at all, the handwriting was disturbingly well-matched. Kiba never really paid much attention to how his own scrawl looked but he could pick it out of a pile of papers and he could distinguish really good forgery if he needed to.

_But there's no way Hinata thought crap like this could _possibly_ come from me._ And if she did... Oh, hell. Poor Hinata. _She sees me molesting Naruto then gets a love letter supposedly from me professing my love to _her_. And if she figures out that it was from Naruto, like I did..._

"So. _Why_ exactly did the idiot do this?" Kiba crumpled the paper back into a ball in his hand and turned to leave.

Akamaru followed with a half-hearted whine.

"Well, no shit to get me and Hinata together. But _why_ would he do a stupid thing like _that_? Didn't he tell me his plan was fucking brilliant?"

The blonde dog growled quietly and let loose one high-pitched bark.

"No. He's stupid, but he couldn't _possibly_ be _that_ stupid. When both Hinata and I are _trying_ to hit on him, ha can't possibly draw the conclusion, 'they must like... each other!' No one's that thick."

Akamaru whimpered.

"Yeah, well, he's not a fox."

¤¤

It was almost eleven at night when they got back to Konoha, wiped out and dirty, Sakura talking animatedly with Sasuke and Naruto lurking slightly behind. It hadn't been a long or hard mission, just some kid who had wandered away when his father had taken him to the next village over and gotten lost; nothing exciting or dangerous had happened at all, and the ten-year-old was now comfortably at home, probably fast asleep while his rescuers reported to Tsunade and finally trudged home for their respective showers and sleep.

"Sasuke!" The high-pitched, adoring squeal was all the warning they got. Sasuke was almost unbalanced, Sakura was pitched off his arm, and Naruto backed away to avoid the slamming effects of whiplash. Shikamaru walked up at a far, far more sedate pace and stopped a few yards away, looking boredly at the team. Chouji was no where to be seen.

"Hn," Sasuke replied, and if it was possible for an apathic 'hn' to get any more indistinctive, it was, for the record, muffled by Ino's body.

"Get off Sasuke, Ino-pig!"

"Make me!"

Amid the shrieks and curses of the two girls, Shikamaru drew a little closer and managed a half-hearted wave in Naruto's direction. The blonde walked up to him, willing to take solace in his more-or-less sane company while Sakura and Ino fought atop their silent, slightly-disgruntled shinobi battleground.

"Out training late?" he asked, accepting the shrug as an affirmative.

"You know," the genius Chuunin said at last, after a second of companionable silence, his voice a lazy drawl and his half-lidded eyes trailing the flying ponytail of his teammate, "we really are very lucky."

Naruto smirked. "Sakura is _clinging_ onto Sasuke."

"Well, Sasuke is not particularly lucky."

"I don't agree. I think Sasuke is way, way too lucky for his own good and someone should give me that kind of torture."

Shikamaru snorted. "You think Sasuke _likes_... well." He wasn't going to get involved in the personal relations between the members of Team 7. Except, that was, for one thing, to test something he'd been wondering about. "And, if Sakura was clinging to you and fighting over you, what exactly would _you_ do, Naruto?"

The blonde considered for a moment, then said, "I'd ask her out to go eat ramen," as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Shikamaru shook his head slowly. "Passions run high in Uzumaki blood."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

The other shook his head and they stood in silence for a while. The present passions, currently shamelessly slathered all over Sasuke, were starting to simmer down, green eyes glowering into blue ones, errant locks of hair being impatiently shoved behind shell-shaped ears.

"So?" Naruto asked after a second, as Sakura and Ino started to direct more attention towards each other than the Uchiha and he began slowly backing in their direction. "Why?"

"Why what?" Shikamaru asked.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Why do you think we're lucky?"

The genius smiled slightly, looking over at Sakura and Ino, who had started a brief cat-fight in small bursts of snarling energy. "Because, if teams were sets of four instead of three, you _know_ one of us would be put in with those three."

Naruto blanched, and Shikamaru smirked at the expression.

Sasuke, carefully walking away and making no sudden movements that would alert the fangirls of his strategic retreat, paused when he stood next to Shikamaru and glanced over his shoulder. "If they get distracted and notice I'm gone, tell them I went back out to train some," he said.

"I'll come with you," Naruto said, eager to spar with his rival whenever the opportunity arose. His hand dove for the string of kunai on his belt and the disappointment of the mission was momentarily forgotten.

"I'm not going training," Sasuke replied coolly.

Naruto looked up and watched the two girls. Sakura had gotten a handful of Ino's hair, grown out long again, and was pulling hard. "Oh," was all he said.

¤¤

At midnight, the door finally creaked open, and Kiba threw down the book he'd been pretending to read and stood up with mixed relief and annoyance. He hadn't known the kitsune would take so _long_ to get back when he'd decided to stay up and wait for him and he had training in the morning. He hadn't been able to read, not when every book about ninjas invariably mentioned the likelihood of death on a mission, even one that seemed entirely tame, and turning on music or the television just made too much damn noise. The TV was on but muted, the reds and purples from the picture reflecting off the mirrored wood of the coffee table and the slick cover of the book.

"Naruto!" There was a muffled thud as the blonde, who obviously hadn't expected anyone to be awake at this hour, jumped at the sound of the voice. "What the _hell_ took you so long? Did they send you after the Akatsuki?"

The blonde appeared at the entrance of the living room and collapsed onto the couch. He looked like someone had beat him within an inch of his life with a shovel, which, Kiba supposed, working from eight in the morning to midnight as a ninja, no matter what the assignment, would pretty much do. Metaphorically, at least. "Nothing like that," he groaned. "We had to find a lost kid out in the woods a couple miles from here."

Kiba snorted derisively, his tired frustration making the sound come out a little more harshly than he had intended. "And _that_ took you sixteen hours to do?"

Naruto, who hadn't seen the canine-nin pacing before he'd gotten home, took the question as an insult and bristled. "Hey, we got it done!"

_God damn it. I'm supposed to be _hitting_ on him and now I'm insulting him without even meaning to and I thought for a second there he had gotten fucking hurt._ Kiba rubbed at his eyes with his fingertips and shook his head. "Naruto, tell me why you were forging letters to Hinata."

The blonde stared at him for a second, then looked away. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I saw them lying all over your room!"

"This is your house, I don't know what's lying around in it!"

Kiba opened his mouth to yell back and then realized he didn't have to energy to speak out. And then he realized he didn't have the energy to stand up, and he half-fell back on the chair and steadied himself with his arms. "Forget it, Naruto."

"I didn't do anything." The kitsune was now pouting indignantly, glaring down at his host with bright blue eyes.

"Alright! I fucking believe you." Kiba _didn't_ believe him and therein lay the problem but he didn't feel like arguing right now. He stood up, slowly, ignoring the dizziness that rose with a rush of blood to his head, and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm going up to bed."

"Sounds good," Naruto replied brightly and led the way to the stairs, followed closely by an energetic Akamaru who had, until just a second ago, been napping in the kitchen. The shinobi shot him twin withering glares that he didn't seem to notice and staggered up to their rooms. Naruto thought he might have heard a muttered "Goodnight," from Kiba's mouth as he shut the door but he couldn't be sure and after a second he dismissed it as irrelevant, anyway. What had gotten into the canine-nin, anyway? Why the hell would _he_ care how long a mission took Naruto, wasn't he more Shino's rival than the blonde's?

_And he figured out my plan._ How disappointing! He had worked so hard on those notes and now they were useless anyway. _Hinata'll know by tomorrow night if he didn't tell her already. _

If Naruto had been less of an absolute genius, he might have given up. He might not have had... a backup plan.

Luckily...

Naruto grinned to himself and let his fingers form the seals he knew so well from his days in the Academy. Plan A, failed. Plan B...

¤¤

Psh. -rubs the red ink off herself- Well, you all know here's where I go on about myself and my relationships with the wonderful people who review, and my enjoyment of said reviews... This IS chapter six, I think you all know my feelings on that by now. :D


	7. Involving Jealousy

Chapter Seven

by Ember

A/N: Hey, but we got to chapter seven! That's good! The aptly-named Involving Jealousy... Anywho. I made a decision. The third, fourth, or fifth time you claim a chapter is 'late' (I lost track XD), you stop whining about it and change your personal definition of 'on time'. Because, really, it's not like I have a due date or anything. And my muse has been... really dry, lately. It's weird, and I think it's stress, but I haven't been able to do _anything_ right.

Speaking of things gone horribly wrong, up and coming is EMBER'S BIRTHDAY! Yay for the anniversary of the worst thing to happen to anyone included in my life! Okay, that's a joke... I hope... XD Anyone wanna do fanart for Ember's stories, 'cause they love her?

...utter silence...

Replies:

Anjo: XP Indeed... Thanks a lot!

Pickle-Kitten: Thanks again:D

Fairady: This one's late, too. :D Yay for consistancy? Well, I do try and develop things right, thanks for the encouragment.

lain: It's people like you who make me keep writing. XD Seriously. Thanks!

Shades Of Hades: I'm working up to a big, random but happy kiss scene in a couple chaters... :D Thank you for the review!

gothangel123:D

caninefox: Thanks a lot!

¤¤

Fate fell short this time

Smile fades in the summer

Raise your hand in mine

I'll leave when I wanna

¤¤

Naruto woke up, shrugged the blankets off of him, and pulled on his clothes with a huge grin on his face. Today was the day! He had his plan all laid out and all he was ready to pull it off with typical Naruto grace, finesse- and success. He shook his hair out to get rid of the strange shapes that it had stuck out in while he slept and ran for the doorway, ducking into the hall. Another stroke of luck- Akamaru wasn't waiting for him with the devilish gleam in his puppy-eyes, as if he could smell the _kyuubi_ inside his reluctant houseguest. And maybe he could, but the thought made Naruto a little uneasy.

He ran down the stairs, which really took a longer time than usual; a strange and duly noted fact but not one that bothered the blonde overly much. Equally strange that he _knew_ his host was cooking breakfast, but he couldn't smell it; like the other thing, though, he mostly ignored it. These things will happen occasionally, these bouts of oddness that make things seem less solid.

"Good morning," he called to Kiba, willing to start the morning off well enough, trying to be polite, trying to impart some of his good mood onto the canine-nin.

"Good morning, idiot," was his host's reply, but before Naruto could respond in kind the brunette had turned and smiled, a 'just-kidding' smile that stopped the blonde in his tracks. Alright. Kiba was kidding with him. That was the most disconcerting thing about the thing because Kiba never seemed to be kidding when he called his guest an idiot. "How'd you sleep, Naruko?"

Naru_ko_? Naruto looked down and saw, to his surprise, that he was indeed currently in his sexy-no-jutsu female-form, complete with ample female parts that seemed about to poke out of his white undershirt. Okay, perhaps _that_ was the most disconcerting thing. It was, at least, certainly strange. "It was fine," he said, wondering if his voice sounded feminine; he couldn't quite tell of his own accord.

"Good." Kiba turned back to whatever he was cooking and seemed very happy with himself, for a reason Naruto- Naruko? No, he was Naruto, boobs or none- couldn't quite understand. Maybe he was just in a good mood, like Naruto was. Maybe he was happy about what the blonde was doing, maybe he was acting so slightly odd out of gratitude that his rival was helping him like this.

"What about you?" the kitsune questioned, taking the plate of breakfast food- the exact nature uncertain- as it was handed to him. "Sleep well?"

The dog ninja shrugged and took his own plate, plopping down a little closer to Naruto than the blonde would have expected. Without thinking, the kitsune edged an inch or two nearer. "Not bad. I thought about you, y'know."

"You did?" Strange.

"Yeah." Kiba's mouth curled into a smile and then, without warning, he leaned forward, grabbed Naruto's chin in his hand, and moved so his face was two inches... one inch... a fraction of an inch away...

And then, tangled in sheets and blankets, Naruto fell off the edge of the bed.

He sat on his floor for a second, a little dazed, missing his center of gravity, rubbing a sore spot on his head, scowling at nothing. His head hurt! He grabbed at the white sheets tied around his legs and disentangled himself, a little bit of his dream returning to him with every motion to his increasing dismay. What a... what a _weird_ dream! He pouted as he threw the blankets back onto his bed, a rumpled pile in the very center, and sat, disgruntled on the edge of his bed. Why had be been a _girl_? And why had Kiba been so damn _nice_, all of a sudden? And... why had they... been about to...

What had they been about to do?

However, despite his naivety, Naruto was not a complete dunce, and he'd kissed someone before- never intentionally, but he _had_ done it, and so he knew the basic plot of the story and he knew what had been about to happen- horrifying as it was. Some of the stuff- why it was supposed to feel so good (Sasuke just sort of felt like a mouth) what was meant when a kiss was, 'soft,' versus whatever _else_ it could be, what _exactly_ the role of the tongue in then action was (he was aware that the tongue was part of it, a fundamental part, but exactly _how_ was still a mystery to him).

Of course, if that dream was some sort of a (horrible!) premonition, Naruto guessed none of that stuff still mattered. If he ever ended up kissing Kiba, that would be an accident, too, so it wasn't like being _good_ at it would count. Nervously, and for the second time since waking up, he ran a hand over his chest and found, to his relief, that it was flat and masculine under his shirt. (Maybe, he thought with a grin, he could persuade _Kiba_ to be the one to be the girl, instead of him- in the event that the dream absolutely had to come true. However, when he'd unveiled the brilliant Sexy no Jutsu to the class, Kiba, like most of the guys, looked amused but not inspired to learn under the blonde's tutorage, so it didn't seem real likely that the canine-nin would jump on the chance to have tits.)

And anyway, he didn't have time to go around, teaching his secret-special moves to ungrateful bastards like Kiba, anyway.

Like he had every day since he'd come to the hell-hole Kiba called a home, like he'd always had when he needed to, he had a plan of action.

¤¤

Chouji regarded the ramen in front of him and toyed with a noodle with his chopsticks, twisting it around the wooden sticks. "You don't think this is a bad place to let me in on your conspiracy, Ino?" he asked, glancing around the booths as if certain to see Naruto in any one of them, eating and talking and being loud in both endeavors. Ichiraku Ramen was _not_, in his mind, the perfect place to plot against Naruto, or anyone the blonde would be likely to defend.

Ino made a face. "You're the only person I know who can eat ramen at eight in the morning."

"No," Shikamaru said, rolling his eyes. "Naruto can, too."

"I doubt he's awake," Ino snapped impatiently. "Anyway, Chouji was hungry and if you're going to make me pay we're getting the cheapest thing there is to eat, and that's ramen. Now, are you going to ask me the last question, yet?"

Shikamaru crossed his arms and relaxed completely into his seat, obviously annoyed with the conversation but willing to make a good rest out of a troublesome situation. "I already figured out your hidden motives, Ino," he said, boredly. Chouji frowned and looked from one teammate to the other, lost.

"Have you really?" Ino looked disappointed. "I thought I was subtle, too."

"Not really," Shikamaru replied with a shrug. "I think Kiba believed you, though."

"I believed you," Chouji said around a mouthful of ramen. Ino made a face and handed him a napkin.

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

"Ino thought Sasuke liked Naruto," Shikamaru explained half-heartedly, intently watching a fly on an overhead lamp. "She wanted to get him out of the way."

Chouji glared pointedly at Ino as he swallowed before saying, "Oh," and shoving another bite in his mouth.

Ino rolled her eyes and threw the napkin, ignored by Chouji, at Shikamaru's face. He let it bounce off his collarbone and land on the floor. "You don't give my master plans much credit."

"They're awfully manipulative," the shadow-nin replied slowly.

The blonde frowned and toyed with a pair of chopsticks that had been set at her place even though she hadn't ended up ordering anything to eat. "I was being honest with Kiba," she said, shrugging. "I _do_ want to see how this turns out, to see if he can get away with it."

"And Naruto?"

Ino smirked. "Naruto wasn't exactly thinking about _Iruka_ when he put mayonnaise under his car doors, was he?" Her shrug was almost eloquent, but there was an odd sparkle in her eye that Shikamaru didn't trust, and suddenly he wasn't certain he'd figured out everything about Ino's plan. She continued: "So I make a little bet with Kiba, and include Naruto; it's really absolutely nothing beyond the sort of thing he would do, come to think of it."

Chouji frowned. "You made a bet? You'd be willing to _pay_ to get into Sasuke's pants?"

Shikamaru smirked, and watched through half-lidded eyes as Ino overturned the bowl of ramen over Chouji's head.

¤¤¤¤

Enough was enough. Kiba stopped in the middle of the road and waited for Naruto to catch up, watching him with his arms crossed and his expression irritated.

"Naruto," he growled as the blonde drew closer, "you're following me."

"Am not!" The blonde crossed his arms and tried to pout, though it was difficult around the knowledgeable grin he sported. After a second of bearing Kiba's unassuming glare and realizing there was no believable place he could claim to be going that just _happened_ to be in the same general direction as the Team 8 meeting spot, he regrouped another strategy. "I wanted to visit Hinata!"

Remembering how Hinata probably felt about Naruto at the moment- somewhere between 'crushed' and 'violated' was his best guess, though it wasn't like the Hyuuga was about to _talk_ about it- Kiba smirked down at his blonde roommate. "Is that so? And just what do you plan on telling her?"

Naruto frowned. "What do you mean?" he asked, looking genuinely confused.

Kiba sighed and, mocking the blonde's high voice, said, " 'Gee, Hinata, I sure am sorry for breaking you heart to little pieces like I did, but I just recently found true love...' "

Naruto, suddenly remembering this slight speedbump in his otherwise perfect plan, grimaced and faltered. "God, Kiba, you stuck your _hand_ up my shirt! That's not love, that's... ah..."

"Molestation?"

"Yeah!" Naruto scowled and stepped back as his roommate stepped towards him, crossing his arms over his chest.

Kiba smirked and shook his head slowly. "Then what're you going to tell her?" he asked, getting back to his original topic smoothly. "Sorry to break your heart, but you're just not my type? I need someone to talk _to_, not _at_? Your tits are tiny and you have no ass?"

Naruto frowned; Kiba was being unusually defensive today and he didn't quite know why. Well, there was one thing Naruto knew would send the canine-nin into a territorial frenzy, neatly proving the kitsune's point, and he smothered down a grin as he responded, trying to sound as serious as possible. "Maybe I'll just say, 'sorry Kiba tried to trick you, I don't get him sometimes, _he_ thought it would be funny,' and ask her out on a date."

The brunette's reaction was absolutely perfect. His shoulders tensed, his hair bristled, his fingers clenched slightly on the hem of his jacket. He fought to control his voice and minimize the tension in his muscles but it didn't quite work and the guarded expression gave it all away anyway. "Or, not," the canine-shinobi growled in response. Akamaru barked from inside his hood.

Naruto finally allowed the impish grin to surface and shifted from one foot to the other. "Why not?" he asked with every bit of feigned innocence he could muster.

"Because I won't let you hurt my teammate," was the slightly-rough response.

"But you can call her tits tiny?"

"I said they were _small_, not tiny."

"You called them tiny."

"No, I didn't."

"You did, though."

"That doesn't matter!" Kiba drew a hand up to brace the pointed nails against his temple and tried counting to ten. He got to three. "You're not coming near Hinata, okay?"

Naruto grinned. "So you admit you like her."

Kiba tried closing his eyes but the second they shut he couldn't get rid of the images in his mind. Naruto with his arm around Hinata's shoulders, Naruto _kissing_ Hinata, whispering in her ear, holding her hand. His teammate, the girl he had worked so well with for so long, the girl he'd been friends with for years and thought he could trust, giggling and blushing while Naruto, _Kiba's_ Naruto, at least until the end of the game, said stupid things in what he thought was a romantic voice.

This was Ino's idea, but it was _Kiba's_ game, and he'd already put enough into it that the thought of Hinata ruining it all like that... She would _ruin_ the game. That was what it was, it was a game, and Kiba wouldn't let it be ruined, he wouldn't let it come undone, not after all this.

"I _don't_ like her."

"Then maybe I do."

The nose dislodged from the Third Hokage's face on Mt. Hokage and crashed to the ground with a rumbling roar. At least, that's what it felt like.

_Then maybe he _does. Kiba had never considered that before; he, and everyone else he knew, had always assumed that he had known Hinata liked him and just never responded, but if Naruto honestly _hadn't_ known that the Hyuuga had feelings for him then maybe...

But then why would he be trying to get Kiba and Hinata _together_?

"You're a bad liar," the canine-nin snarled. He had stopped trying to hide his tension, and discovering the sudden sharp pain of his nails which, buried in his sleeves, had punctured through the fabric and poked at his arm, he forced himself to relax. It was a skill most shinobi were proficient at but one that he was somewhat lacking in.

"So're you," Naruto replied cheerfully.

Kiba rolled his eyes, and turned around, his movements deliberate to keep from showing how eager he was to get away from the catalyst that Naruto was making inside him at the moment. (Damn him for risking the game!) "Go home, Naruto," he said, a trifle tersely, and starting walking towards the corner where the team always met Kurenai. Shino and Hinata had been training earlier that morning, a session Kiba missed because he was up late waiting for his rival to get home, so the former two had walked there together and trusted Kiba to show up on time alone.

He didn't know the blonde was still following him until Hinata greeted them, though he knew it from the moment she started to speak because she always stuttered worse when around him. "H-hi, Kiba. H-he-hello, Na-Naruto. What're y-you doing h-here?"

Naruto walked up, shot a deviant glance over his shoulder at Kiba, and turned towards Hinata with the most benevolent of fox-smiles. "I wanted to see you," he said, closing the distance between them and giving her what could be interpreted as a friendly hug, if he and Hinata were much better friends than they really were. It was a 'friendly' hug in the way Sakura would hug Sasuke, with lots of contact but nothing explicitly romantic and no excess hand explorations.

Kiba watched Hinata's face and felt his hackles rise just a quarter inch. She was a couple seconds away from hugging him back, hugging _him_ back, hugging _Naruto_, who wasn't _her's_ because he was _Kiba's,_ and this was _Kiba's_ game and _Kiba's_ kitsune, and she was reaching up and touching him with her little pale hands and blushing prettily pink and holding in a secret smile even though she'd seen what Kiba did a couple days ago and didn't really trust herself to believe this was real.

It wasn't real. Not really. Because it was one moment that belonged to Hinata; to Naruto it was a joke and something to tick off Kiba and to Kiba it was a piss-off. Naruto wanted Kiba to jump in. Naruto wanted to force his roommate to tell Hinata he liked her, wanted him to push them apart and growl sideways at the kitsune and drag the Hyuuga into a deep and passionate kiss. Naruto was cute. Naruto was clever.

_Naruto was Kiba's._

He wasn't really thinking when he moved forward, just reaching out blindly to grab a handful of orange clothing and _jerking_ it backwards so Naruto wheeled back a couple feet before recovering. Hinata let her crush go, slowly, like she'd seen it coming the whole time- which she might have, she wasn't the _most_ optimistic person Kiba knew.

"Hey," Naruto cried out, obviously offended and a little surprised by the force of Kiba's reactions. "What the hell was that, Mr. I Don't Like Hinata Like Tha..." Cut off by an understated glare from the Mr. I Don't Like Hinata Like That in question, Naruto faltered to a stop and backed an unconscious pace away. "Ah, Kiba?"

"I told you not to do that," Kiba said, forcing his voice to be calm through every relaxation exercise he knew while staring intently at the flawless line of Naruto's neck. His whole body was pulsing and he didn't know what with, and didn't quite trust himself to look into the kitsune's face. All he really knew was that he _never_ wanted to see Naruto do that again. And he wasn't certain why.

¤¤

Hey! Your MOM'S short! XP Okay, it wasn't that bad, length-wise, was it? Come to think of it, was it that bad quality-wise? I'm finishing this at midnight and I don't feel like re-reading it tomorrow, but I'm too tired to think about it objectively.


	8. Negative Consequences

Chapter Eight

by Ember

A/N: Okay, when I started on this chapter, I was finishing my finals, so that's excuse one- Ember is a very fanatic student. Since then, my birthday's past (yay! I'm sixteen!), as has most of my summer- Excuses two and three include vacations, which are much more fun to think about. I'm well on my way to getting my driver's licence. :D And that's good for excuse four- I've been driving, not typing! And hanging out with friends; my republican buddy has a pool. :D:D:D

ST: Thanks so much:D Yeah, I really need to work on lengthening these chapters. Which puts the oddest image of natural chapter enhancement in my head. I need more sleep.

xxphatbaybeexx: Heheh! Prolly would.

serialhugger: Yay for energy:D Ino is very much the evil genius. 3... Thanks for reviewing!

tyranimo: Yes. Thanks for the review!

Pickle-Kitten: Thanks so much! I'll try and post this soon, but I'm such a terrible procrastinator...

F.A. Starhawk: Yes. Yes, he is. D

NarutosGirl52: Thanks a lot! I hope Cynthia feels better. (Of course, this was written forever ago, so chances are pretty good by the time this chapter is published she will. Heheh!)

Enshou: Hell yes. Nobody writes KibaNaru. ;-; Except a very few good fics that I've seen here and there...

ShadesofHades:P Hmm... No, I don't think Sasuke's a prostitute in this fic, though I may have to reread my own story and figure it out. I confuse myself. A lot. ()

nighinvisible: Kiba rawks. :D Thanks a lot! (I can't wait to finish it, either; writing the end of fanfics leaves me feeling so happy inside.)

Where do we go from here

Turn all the lights down now

Smiling from ear to ear

I'm feeling this

Our breathing has got to loud

I'm feeling this

--

"I told you not to do that," Kiba growled. Naruto felt the hair on the back of his neck rise slightly; as a nonconventional genius, he was allowed some errors in calculation and it was quite obvious he had miscalculated just how serious Kiba had been about that. If he's had hackles, they would have been raised over his head and his shoulders were bunched and tensed as if still trying to decide whether they counted as hackles. He wasn't _quite_ snarling.

Nevertheless, Naruto wasn't one for restraint or common sense so he continued on the same, blissfully stupid vein. "I thought you said you didn't _like_ her."

Painfully aware of the presence of a confused Hinata and a curiously apathetic Shino, Kiba grabbed the blonde's arm and dragged him to where hushed whispers wouldn't be overheard. "I _don't_," he growled firmly, finally loosening his grip on the poor kitsune's arm.

Naruto scowled and nursed his bruising appendage; Kiba felt a brief flash of pity and the built-up anger started to ebb away. "Damn. Sorry."

"Yeah, well. Just stop fucking with me."

"Fucking with _you_? You're the one who _started_ all of this!"

"Was _I_ the one who followed _you_ all the way out here?"

"No, but you're the one who stuck his _hand_ down my _shirt_ to try and scare away Hinata 'cause you were scared she might actually _go out with me_."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Kiba drew a little further away, as if scared he might catch the kitsune's crazy, eyebrows raised. "In fear she might go out with you? I'm not scared of Hinata, Naruto."

The blonde pouted. "Looked that way to me. The way you _molested_ me to keep her from knowing I was available."

The canine-nin smirked. "If you're going to be all tied up in knots because I touched you, Naruto, what are you going to do when you get a girlfriend?" He pushed his fingertips against the muscled plane of Naruto's chest and grinned at the kitsune's sudden blush. "That's your problem, isn't it, Naruto? You're too much of a little kid to handle it."

"I am NOT a little kid!" The blonde started to back away from the canine-nin's fingers but after a moment of indecision stopped and stood still, ignoring them. Hinata and Shino turned away from their conversation, alarmed at the volume of his protest, then, catching the two shinobi only a couple inches apart, staring intensely into each other's faces, turned back with the air of two people willing to pretend they hadn't seen what they saw. Naruto lowered his voice again. "At least I've been kissed."

The effect was perfect; Kiba's eyes widened slightly and his ears suddenly burned red. The hand against Naruto's chest snapped up around his shoulder. "So have I," he snarled.

"Not according to Ino," the blonde intoned liltingly in reply.

"What the hell does Ino know?"

"You're just angry that I've been kissed and you haven't."

Kiba scowled and half-heartedly pushed Naruto away. "That doesn't count as a real _kiss_, you idiot."

Naruto grinned. "I'm experienced and you're not, and that's all there is to it." Eager to turn the tables, the blonde pushed his own hands against Kiba's chest, inched close enough to him that their thighs brushed against each other, and smiled half-mockingly up at him; he felt the canine-nin's heartbeat and wondered for a second why it was speeding up. But he guessed it wasn't all that odd because his was doing the same thing.

"Are you saying you'd be better than me?" Kiba growled challengingly, tilting his head to glare into the kitsune's blue eyes.

"Of course not." Kiba remained silent, waiting for the second part that was inevitably coming. "_That_ much goes without saying."

The canine-nin held back a growl and bent down so their faces were an inch apart, his mouth already moving into a challenge that by now he should have known better than to offer. "You want to bet on that?"

The challenge was obviously met in the kitsune's eyes. "Sure. As much as I hate to take your money."

The growl finally quietly broke, and Kiba roughly grabbed the blonde's shoulders, hearing the fox's breath hitch as he pulled him close and leaned down until their lips were an inch apart.

"Sorry I'm late!"

Then shoved him aside roughly and stepped back, ignoring Naruto's yelp of surprise and his own pounding heart as he turned to face Kurenai. His sensei, as well as the remaining whole of Team 8, were watching him strangely.

"Why'd you push him?" Kurenai asked, sounding puzzled, while Hinata shyly walked over to offer a hand to Naruto, who let the Hyuuga pull him to his feet. Kiba watched out of the corner of his eye and suppressed a growl at Hinata's stammering concern. "Kiba?"

"Oh." His attention back to his sensei, Kiba felt a slight flush threatening his ears and fought against that, too. "Personal space," he managed as a half-hearted answer. He felt blue eyes land on him and watched Naruto out of the corner of his eye as he took Hinata's hand and gave her a quick hug goodbye, grinning at the silent snarl that shook Kiba's shoulders as he fought to ignore it.

--

Akamaru followed Naruto home, which bothered the kitsune more than he'd like to admit. He really wasn't overly fond of the little dog, and, having never seen it apart from Kiba before, he couldn't help but feel that it had been sent to tail him.

So he locked it out of its own house.

Ignoring the small animal's yelping, whimpering cries, Naruto took the stairs two at a time, jogging down the hall to the room he was even now starting to think of as his own. He had planning to do, and devising, and preparing, and he didn't have time to worry about Kiba's canine bug; closing and locking his door just in case- you never know what a dog entrances Kiba might have put in, this _was_ an Inuzuba house, after all- Naruto turned towards his closet, opened the doors with a flourish, and investigated the suit hanging on the inside drawer.

It wasn't precisely the disguise he wanted, but it wasn't one of his own orange outfits, and it was most certainly a bunny suit.

It had taken a lot of effort, and a lot of brilliant acting, to come up with this twisted part of his plan. He'd used Sexy no Jutsu- keeping his clothes on this time- to infiltrate what Kakashi called a 'special' store, and, with enough blushing and giggling to give the guy at the counter a fairly moderate nosebleed, asked what exactly he should wear to 'impress a guy,' granted that he, as in Naruko (that is, for those keeping up, Hinata) and not the guy he wanted to impress, really was quite shy and didn't talk too much. The costume itself seemed more fishnets than anything else, though it had a little soft, faux fur, white, around the collar, and on the ears and the weird tail. Naruto was willing to give that it was a little more revealing than Hinata would usually vouch for, but it covered up the vital bits and she was, after all, going to be professing her true love.

She was just... going to be helped in doing it.

As in, Naruto was going to do it for her.

It was completely, absolutely, without a doubt foolproof.

Excepting, perhaps, one thing of minute proportion: Kiba had almost kissed him, right there in front of Hinata and Shino and God and the world, and his face and throat still buzzed where ever the canine-nin had touched. Naruto had the disturbing, throwing feeling that if Kiba had kissed him, he might have kissed him back, which would have destroyed the plan right then and there.

Which seemed like a minor setback, now that he thought about it.

--

Kiba sparred with Shino with an alarming lack of passion, actually not noticing the passages of the kikachuu until they were already feeding off his chakra and his silent teammate had already won the spar. With sudden, negative memories of being five years old and covered in biting, itchy fleas, Kiba shook desperately, sighing with relief with Shino called the bugs back to his own skin with that strange jutsu his family had.

He didn't know why he was being so listless, all of the sudden. He just felt... heavy. Heavy with frustration, which could easily be passed off as because he'd lost the spar; heavy with annoyance, which made perfect sense because Naruto was following him around and ticking him off, seemingly on purpose, in the way only the fox-boy could ever hope to do.

Heavy with disappointment, which, try though he did, he couldn't shrug off onto something unrelated to Naruto and their spontaneous moment of...

No. Calling it a 'moment' made it sound weird, too sincere.

He couldn't shrug it off onto something unrelated to Naruto and their dare.

He couldn't think of a single reason, however, why he should feel disappointed. He joined Shino in a second spar, trying to lose his thought train in the endless defense-offence cycle, but his mind continued to sort through all the day's events while his body moved on automation.

When the training session was finally over, he was no closer to finding an answer and a lot closer to removing his bruised, throbbing skin with a dulled kunai. _Damn Shino_, he growled in his own mind, stalking alone down the street towards his apartment. _He doesn't care if you're trying to think, or obviously preoccupied, he'll beat the shit out of you anyway._

He felt considerably more annoyed when he found Akamaru whining at the door, locked out of his own home. Kiba unlocked the door and let the little dog in, yelling something profane upstairs at Naruto as he rounded on the kitchen and the prospect of dinner. He had been cooking and contemplating for twenty or so minutes when he caught sight of a blonde head behind him; he turned the heat on the stove down to low and raised one eyebrow at the kitsune standing in the entrance to the kitchen.

The disappointment returned, suddenly, making him all of the sudden a lot heavier feeling, a lot less energetic.

"What is it?" he asked after a second, when it was obvious Naruto wasn't going to speak first.

The blonde shifted in place. "I'm hungry," he said, and, somehow, the tone of the words and the quiet appeal made it clear that it was as close to an apology as he was willing and able to make.

Kiba regarded it for a minute, stirring the contents of the pan he was holding speculatively while wondering if it was close enough to an "I'm sorry" to be accepted. Then, "Do you ever eat anything but ramen?" which was, by the tone and implied offer, as close to an "I forgive you" as Naruto's half-assed apology warranted.

Naruto grinned, a distinctly vulpine expression that showed off slightly pointed canines. "Sometimes," he replied happily.

"Are you aware that you interrupted me from making dinner?"

Still grinning, Naruto ducked out of the kitchen so his roommate could finish cooking and splayed out over Kiba's couch, twisting so he was lying on his back and taunting Akamaru with a rawhide bone that he held, speculatively, right out of the small dog's reach. The canine-nin watched him for a second, blonde hair sprayed out across the couch cushion, knees drawn up to his chest, free arm thrown over the back of the couch; feeling that same disappointment twisting in his stomach as he studied the wide grin splitting the tan face. He knew what it was about, now, and he allowed himself one pointed minute of self-recrimination as he finished their dinner.

He was disappointed because he had come close, but he hadn't kissed Naruto.

Which was the final evidence needed- he, Inuzuba Kiba, had gone off the deep end.

--

E/N: Well, by my new standards of 'late,' this chapter is just on time- and, by my new standards of 'short,' it's the perfect length! Look at that, a chapter I'm happy with:D


	9. Henge no Jutsu Confirmation of Insanity

Chapter Nine ((Henge no Justsu- Confirmation of Insanity))

by Ember

A/N: My friend came back from Japan and got me a Very Pretty necklace. It's awfully pretty. I wish you could see it.

On another note: in this chapter, Naruto follows something he saw in a magazine to finally get Kiba to admit his true love- a plan that has rather fantastic backfire potential. I don't know if I like this chapter. I mean, it moves suddenly a lot faster, and I don't know if I like that at all... But I think we're all ready for at least a little lovin', aren't we? After all, we got through eight chapters of barely hints of affection, so now it's time for it all to come barreling downhill. And this is where it's the most fun for me.

Review Replies: (And I doubt you remember what you wrote, but I had to give you all nice replies. We made it to my goal of 75 reviews! This makes my day. I'm pulling (tentatively) for 100, but... well, 75 is quite nice, too. :D)

ST: -grin- I'm so mean to these characters... Thanks.

NarutosGirl: Good to hear it:D Hey, I'm in Maryland, so I was right between you two. Thanks for the review and I hope you had a good vacation!

Turtle Kid: That's actually very heartening. () Thank you!

Pickle-Kitten: Thanks so much:D

nighinvisible: Pervy reviewers rock. I don't think I could get away with ending this without smutt. () Thanks so much for your review and encouragement, and sorry this chapter took so long!

Hey J: Grammar's not really my thing. XD Thanks so much for your review, it made me go kwaa. :D

Kanemoshi: Sorry this took so long! I'm horrible! ;-;

Shades of Hades: Heheh, sorry. I'm slow. Thanks again!

Jasmine Starlight: That's very true, but still, it's never a character's _fault_ how they were written. I just either like them, or I don't. I love Sakura, for instance. Thanks for the review, and for it being my 75th:D

--

Show me the bedroom floor

I'm feeling this

Show me the bathroom mirror

I'm feeling this

We're taking this way to slow

I'm feeling this

Take me away from here!

--

It was official, now; certified- all that was left was for it to be written down, filed with all other facts and laws, and signed by the god of the human condition. Inuzuba Kiba was officially, legally insane.

He thought about it while watching Naruto torment his dog with the bone, he thought about it while ripping his gaze away guiltily, he thought about it while staring at his cooking with unnecessary intensity. He thought about it while eating- silently, which Naruto seemed fine with- and he thought about it while watching television with the blonde just down the couch. He thought about before bed, when the edge of sleep took away the guard in his thoughts that normally prevented such uncouth contemplation and when the blur of dreams made his thoughts turn... weird. Weirder. Inappropriate.

He thought about it waking up, he thought about it getting dressed, he thought about it brushing his teeth and half-heartedly taming his hair. He thought about it calling Shino and thought about it walking down to the insect-nin's home to train. He thought about it getting home, feeding Akamaru, and changing into clothes that weren't streaked with sweat and dirt. He thought about it lying down on his couch and staring at the black TV. He thought about it when the doorbell rang, and then he thought about letting it ring, because he was too tired to deal with it right then. Contemplation of the loss of your own mind takes something out of you.

But when it rang for the fourth time, he finally shouted at whoever was outside to shut the fuck up and wait for a fucking second, then dragged himself to the door- stepping over Akamaru who, having finished lunch, was barking like mad at whatever intruder was there- and opened the front door.

To see Hinata standing in the bunny suit on his front porch, blinking dark eyes in a very seductive, extremely un-Hinata expression up at him, her short hair hanging in wisps around her face.

In a bunny suit.

On his porch.

Staring up at him, flicking the drooping bunny ear out of her eyes, and whispering, plaintively, seductively, "Kiba... I'm in love with you."

It was official- Kiba was completely insane.

--

Ino looked down at her hand, a look of contemplation foremost on her face, her blue eyes narrowed in concentration. Everything was going perfectly for her, and all that was needed was a little more persuasion, a little more tweaking in the situation...

"Do you have any five's?" she finally asked after a long and tense hesitation.

Shikamaru wasn't entirely sure- his cards were face down on his left knee and he hadn't looked at them for several turns, now- and he didn't really feel like checking. "Go fish." It wasn't really cheating, because he wasn't really playing to win, he was playing to alleviate Ino's boredom.

Chouji- currently munching on a bag of pretzels- watched the card Ino was picking up and stuffed another handful in his mouth. "What're we doing here, anyway?" he asked the blonde, half-heartedly.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Ino muttered halfheartedly, passing her single two over to Shikamaru, eyes narrowed. "And we're waiting for Sasuke."

"Why are we ever anywhere?" Shikamaru pointed out, putting the two blindly in his hand.

Ino put her hands on her hips, keeping her cards angled away from her teammates while glaring down Shikamaru with her best leer. "I want to be the first to tell him that Naruto has been seduced by Kiba," she said, smirking.

"You seem pretty confident that your plan is going to work," Shikamaru pointed out sleepily.

Ino shrugged. "Why wouldn't it? I can see why _you're _lost, Shikamaru, it's not complicated enough for you to wear yourself out on, but it's easy as good chemistry. It's an idiot-plus-idiot situation, it's simple."

"It's idiotic," Chouji interjected helpfully.

Ino rolled her eyes. "Then call it woman's intuition. And speaking of intuition." She grinned and folded her arms knowingly over her chest. "Do you have any nine's?"

"Go fish."

--

Eventually, no matter how warped and twisted the mind was, it eventually worked around itself to try and figure out _why_ Hinata would be proclaiming her love to him on his porch in a bunny suit, and Kiba's brain was no different. And, after a minute or two of thinking it over, it couldn't come up with a single reason why his shy, quiet teammate would possibly have for being out here in that doing this.

Ninjas were trained to see through every possible deception, so it wasn't really surprising that his next thought was, _Henge no jutsu!_

But who would possibly have a reason to try and get Kiba to believe that his teammate was wildly in love with him?

Well, who had been trying to hook Kiba and Hinata up for the past two weeks?

Naruto.

And who would have the _balls_ to Henge into a girl, dress like a slut, and scream his- her- affections for a canine-nin he could barely stand?

Naruto.

And who would possibly he stupid enough to think that even if Kiba did like Hinata and Hinata did like Kiba, this stunt would bring them any closer together at all?

"Naruto," Kiba growled with a slight smirk, "you're making an idiot of yourself. Again."

Every muscle in Naruto's body suddenly tensed, as one thought flew madly through his head- _He's onto me!_ But calm down- all the kitsune's experience taught him that hesitation only reaffirmed suspicion, and he had to deal with the threat before Kiba could be convinced into believing it. So, quickly but smoothly, he cut in, "Naruto? Who's Naruto?"

The canine-nin snickered. "Hinata knows who you are, jackass."

...Fuck. Well, he could save this, he knew he could! "Heheh, just kidding," he chirped in his most Hinata-ish voice (although he left out the stutters). "I haven't seen Naruto for a few days... like, a week! Have you? Erm... I mean, you live with him, so..."

"Naruto."

He was getting uncomfortable, now; it was a lot easier to be Hinata in a bunny suit in front of Kiba than being himself, and he didn't know why 'cause he'd never felt this uncomfortable in his own shoes before. "I don't know why you keep calling me by-"

"Naruto."

And just like that, the blonde-turned-brunette faltered, stuttered, and broke the jutsu he was holding with a quiet 'poof,' leaving a yellow-haired and very male kitsune staring up desperately from behind drooping white bunny-ears up at his canine roommate.

And Kiba, always helpful, started laughing.

"What's so funny, fleas?" Naruto snarled, crossing his arms over his now-empty corset and shaking his head to try and get the ears out of his face. Embarrassed was a pretty new emotion, and even getting his ass kicked by Sasuke had never resulted in _this_ kind of feeling, like butterflies were eating portions of his intestines. He'd pulled off a lot of crazy shit, gotten caught, gotten teased (he thought he'd never hear the end of Sexy no Jutsu; most classmates hadn't thought turning into a naked chick in the middle of the class was the most dignified of all scholastic achievement) but he'd never felt quite like this before, like he'd told some sort of guarded secret and had it thrown aside.

"You are," Kiba retorted, and a light blush started across Naruto's face. "What the hell made you think I'd buy that, hmm? Was it Hinata's rodent tendency?"

"It just-" the pink fox started.

"Why would you try and seduce me as Hinata, anyway? If I had fallen for it, what would it do? What did you hope to pull?" Kiba didn't even realize that the humor was fading away from his voice. _He doesn't understand, I don't love Hinata like that at all._

"I wanted-" Naruto stammered, the blush deepening.

"Why have you been doing any of this shit? Forging letters, trying to make me jealous; you're an idiot, they weren't working, so why?" _He doesn't understand that it was never Hinata at all._

"Because..."

"Why did you think any of it was your business anyway?" _He doesn't understand that I dragged him into the middle of it like a selfish idiot._

"Because..."

_He doesn't understand any of it._ "Why do you go and make yourself into an asshole to try and get me with my teammate, Naruto, even if you did think it was right?"

Bright red skin clashed with sun-yellow hair, but the way his eyes flashed made it obvious that Naruto was ready to say _his_ part, now. "Because I love you!"

And then they were quiet.

"I didn't say that," Naruto muttered, after a long and breathless minute, obviously mortified by the shake in his voice.

"Yeah, you did," Kiba assured him, sounding a little shaken himself.

"No, I didn't." Naruto was having a little trouble wrapping his mind over the weighted words that he didn't remember recognizing before they'd come out of his mouth. _But they're true, aren't they?_ He didn't know what to tell himself. But he knew there had been a reason behind what he'd done, and he knew he was happier around the canine and he knew he'd been knocked breathless by only being about to kiss him and didn't know what would happen if they actually did... He wasn't sure what he was feeling and he wasn't sure what he was thinking and he wasn't sure if he was breathing.

Eyes narrowing in concern, Kiba stepped forward, only to have the blonde step back in concert with him. "Naruto..."

But Naruto was already running down the hall of the apartment complex, shooting for the exit at top speed, ears, tail and all.

--

Shikamaru rolled his eyes, leaning against the side of the building they were playing in front of while Ino dealt her and Chouji hands. (She had given up on playing with Shikamaru; he cheated and didn't really care if he was caught, at least Chouji played fair.) "So," he drawled, idly counting the cards as they hit the pavement. "Explain to me again. After the dramatic love confessions you seem so certain are going to be ripped from one throat or the other, and then the tearful parting."

"She never said tearful," Chouji put in helpfully.

Ino picked up her hand, scouted over it, and leered knowingly at Chouji before answering Shikamaru. "I never said tearful."

"Whatever."

"Not whatever. They'll be embarrassed, not tearful. That's important."

"Why the hell is that important?"

"Because that's what everything was about, that's why! Everything was about them feeling comfortable enough that they're not scared to say it, them feeling _at home_ with each other." She suddenly stopped, though it was obvious she could have gone on, and, seeming to realize how much like a crappy self-help novel she sounded, blushed pink and muttered something like, "Gimme all your Jacks," at Chouji.

Shikamaru, who couldn't deny that it was a logical point, at least, instead rolled his eyes and drawled, "Fine, so they're running away from each other, having 'fessed up and gotten cold feet. Then what?"

Ino frowned, just a casual little dip of her lips, quiet and cute. "This is the part where it's sort of a gamble."

"Really? There's an iffy part to your plan?"

"It depends on them thinking," the blonde said, with a look of slight regret on her face.

--

It takes physical precision and excellent timing to slam someone on the head with a two-by-four and twist their innards around in circles at the exact same time without causing visible damage, but someone out there was remarkably good at it because it seemed to happen to Kiba more times than he would like to admit, if it's all the same to you.

He was more or less aware of what had just happened, and a little part of him was slightly embarrassed- love, like, _love_, or just really good friends?- and a large part of him was really confused- like, _love_?- and a very large part of him was just shocked numb, until all he could get out were two- or three-word sentences.

He stepped forward, stuttered out the blonde's name even though he didn't have the slightest clue what he was supposed to say if Naruto decided to throw himself into the canine's arms and start dry-humping him, or start crying, or burst out laughing at the end of this great joke. But Naruto stepped back with him. And then turned around and ran.

Leaving a very confused shinobi standing in front of an empty apartment with a quiet little tan dog and a slowly spreading heartache.

Well, that had gone well.

Kiba groaned, listened with slight shock to hear the groan turn into a growl, and paced back into his room, slamming the door behind him, almost onto Akamaru's tail. This was crap. He had barely been able to get his mind around wanting to make out with the little idiot, and now he was running around, spurting love confessions like it was the easiest fucking thing in the world, and then running away and leaving Kiba feeling like some sort of ravished shell of a ninja, like a parody of who he'd been.

He collapsed against the wall, let his head fall back and onto the support, and sighed, deeply, unable to quiet get what exactly he was supposed to do.

"Hey," he said weakly, suddenly figuring something out and standing upright as it came to him. "I won the bet."

But he'd lost something, too. He'd lost a lot. He'd fallen for the fucking fox, too.

"Now what do I do?" he asked Akamaru, sounding so hopeless that he could almost see the little dog rolling its eyes. It gave him a cool look and a little bark that almost any Inuzuba could translate as meaning, "Go after him, dumbass."

--

"And so," Chouji put in, tossing two eight's over to Ino and grabbing a handful of corn chips, "they think."

"They can't just think, either," Ino said with a sigh. "They have to be _right_. They have to put two and two together and actually get four this time. They have to figure things out for themselves before they can go and find each other again."

"And then they meet in the middle," Shikamaru quipped.

"And then they meet in the middle."

--

end chapter eight


	10. Plan 'A' Reported Success

Chapter Ten

by Ember

A/N: Ack! Laaaagging updates. And this one's not my particular favorite, either. Mrr.I like the protective big-brother sort Sasuke is starting to become (unconciously imitating Itachi from years and years ago? I dunno, you're readers, you're supposed to interpret.) But aside from that... Mrr. Someone make me feel better about it?

But updating should get more regular, now. Thanks to all of you for your support. Oh, and my sister went to Anime USA and brought me back a ninja headband and a Naruto plushie, and authentic anime porn! XD To say I love her is an understatement.:3!

Review Replies:

N: Heheh. Those are my favorite lines, too... Thanks for the review. :D

ST: This fanfic has made me even more of an Ino fan than I was before. XD And yes, I love the cliffhangers. :3

nighinvisible: Whee! I love KibaSasu, it's another of my favorites, and another pairing you just don't see that much. I've been working on a KibaSasuNaru story for forever, but then my account on AFF died and now I have nowhere to put it. And yes, I agree that I should have dissected more of Naruto's feelings, but it is more Kiba-centric anyway... Thanks so much:D

Jasmine Starlight: Heheh... I'm glad you like it, and I'll happily deliver your yaoi fix. Soon. At least, if everything goes as planned, soon. Thanks for reviewing!

AlexTheLemming:)

Shades of Hades: They were supposed to kiss in that chapter... in the vague plan I eventually surmised they were going to have their first kiss in that chapter... and then they ended up not. / How annoying. Bad muse. Yay for cultish chanting for porn:3

Kanmoshi: XD I agree! But that bunny suit was hard to incorporate! It took effort, that perhaps I could have been using the develop a plot!

rabidbutterfly: Keheh, thanks! All your reviews are so nice:D

Jacob: XD Another review that made my day. Thank you!

--

This place was never the same again

After you came and went

How can you say you meant anything different

To anyone standing alone

On the street with a cigarette

On the first night we met

--

Sasuke was having a bad day.

Most boys in Konoha- or anywhere else, for that matter- would have cut off their right nuts for the amount of attention Sasuke got from attractive, giggly, popular girls. But Sasuke really, genuinely, hated it. The general opinion of Konoha was that secretly he craved it and only acted cool to get more attention- but the sad fact was, he really _hated_ it, came dangerously close to hating the girls that dished it out, and sometimes wished he had tits, just to scare them away. (He never worked up the courage to ask Naruto to teach him Sexy no Jutsu, though. He never got that desperate.)

Today had stooped to a level that no day, no matter how bad they got or how much ill fortune they carried in their pockets, had stooped to before. Sakura had showed up on his doorstep at six in the morning, saying that she really wanted his help to learn a move she'd intentionally choked on the day before, just to get inside his house, although anyone who knew her knew she really had learned it almost the second it was taught. Temari had baked him cookies and wouldn't get off of him until he acknowleged how good they were, and thanked her properly for them. Ino had dragged her whole damn team to wait for him a block down the road from his house.

And then, once he'd escaped into the woods to train a little bit in the quiet solace he could only find there, of all places, Naruto careened out of nowhere on the very public road home, dressed in a bunny suit that was more fishnets than anything else, and threw himself full-throttle at Sasuke's legs, clinging to one just below the knee and wailing, loudly enough that three birds dislodged themselves from their trees and flew away with offended squawks, "Sasuke, I'm gay!"

Which was close enough to pushing Sasuke over the edge that he could almost hear the chirping that would have been Naruto's death, if this hadn't been a first offense.

Instead, he pulled his leg out of his teammate's grip and said, "That's nice." But if the blonde started wailing that he loved him, too, Sasuke would destroy something or someone and he couldn't make any guarentees as for what it would be.

Naruto sniffed in a vaguely offended way. "You're the first person I... told." Not counting anyone who might have been within hearing range that he just couldn't see at the moment.

"Alright." Sasuke started to turn away, caught sight of Naruto's watery blue eyes, sighed, and helped his teammate to stand up. "And who forced you out of the closet, _dobe_?"

Naruto blushed crimson, stared at the ground, and muttered "no one," so quietly it might have be some condemning speech.

"You just suddenly decided to come crashing through the woods and start crying on my shoes for no reason." Sasuke rolled his eyes, turned on his heel, and started to walk away. "Never mind. There's no helping you, idiot."

Naruto stood rooted to the spot, staring after Sasuke. For the life of him, he was more confused than if he had suddenly spurted a tail. He had gone from hating Kiba, to hating him more, to being about to kiss him, to suddenly being in love with him with no room for uncertainty no matter what he felt. He was _Naruto_, he didn't feel a little-bit any way, he lived completely off the strength of his emotions. And of all the things he'd been sure of in his life, there were only two that he would have staked his life on, and this was one of them, dammit.

He wouldn't have been able to tell Sasuke, if asked, why he had chosed to run to _him_, of all the people in Konoha. If he'd wanted someone who didn't care and didn't want to hear it, he could have gone to Tsunade, and spared himself the insults. But he figured that normal best friends told each other this sort of thing, and so he may as well go to Sasuke. They were supposed to be best friends, or only friends, or at least friends somewhere along the lines.

"It was Kiba," he said, quietly but without hesitation. Sasuke paused, sighed, turned around, and came back. "I love him."

Sasuke snorted. "I'm sure you do."

"I would know better than you would, fucktard!" He didn't need someone else to be sticking doubt into his mind, because he was absolutely _sure_ of what he felt!

"Mm-hmm. Because your experience with love is so much greater than mine." He was seriously ticking off the blonde and pushed a little bit harder on the bruise he was gradually making. "So you want to let the _dog boy_ fuck you? Do you think the Inuzuba clan gets off on picking the ticks off? Or do you think you'll have to pull out the rolled-up newspaper?"

The kitsune's cheeks were just a little flushed, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "Stop it, Sasuke."

"Oh, no, I'm sure you're right," the Uchiha purred. "I'm sure he can do things with leashes and collars I've never even _thought _of."

He saw the fox's punch fifteen minutes away and caught it effortlessly out of the air, jerking Naruto closer by his wrist. "Turn around now, idiot. Turn around and go talk to your dog, make sure he knows how you feel, figure out how he feels. It's not hard; you've been living with him for weeks, now; you'll be fine no matter what fucking happens. But don't ever come fucking running to me whever something like this happens, because it's not like I can do a damn thing for you, and I'm not going to waste my time trying. I just don't care." Which was, Sasuke fully acknowleged, a complete lie. If he hadn't cared, he wouldn't have stuck around this long, or said this much.

"I made an idiot of myself," the blonde wailed.

"It's not like that's a new and shocking thing," Sasuke acknowleged blandly. "I doubt he noticed the difference."

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Then find some balls and go talk to him."

"Or, y'know, not." The voice, slightly broken with shaky laughter, heralded the enthusaistic approach of a small tan dog, followed closely by Kiba, who looked a little nervous about the impending confrontation. "I guess it doesn't take much balls to just stand there."

"You have no idea," Naruto said with a small and very forced smile.

Kiba gave a small and very forced laugh.

"You know," Sasuke drawled, sounding a little bit annoyed, "if it's alright with everyone else, I'm gonna go now."

"Yeah," Kiba said quickly, in complete chorus with Naruto's just as hasty, "That's fine." Sasuke rolled his eyes and retreated straight up, landing neatly on a tree branch that was hanging over the road and disappearing into the dark grey dusk that was hovering in the forest around Konoha.

"So," Kiba started, when it was clear Naruto was close enough to the break-and-run point that he could smell the sulpher on the other side. "That's... a nice outfit."

"It itches," the kitsune said, slowly. The corners of Kiba's mouth twitched and he was suddenly really ticked off at his roommate. "I did it for you, y'know!"

The canine-nin looked torn between contrite and amused, and then started snorting uncontrollably. An older woman, having shuffled out to hang a sopping wet white skirt on a clotheline just outside her front door, turned over to stare, and caught herself gaping uncontrollably at the blonde playbunny standing indignantly in front of her home.

--

Ino and company were still hanging around Sasuke's house when he finally trudged up there and, lacking the energy to avoid them, he continued straight for them, catching Shikamaru's eye and not bothering to interrupt Ino's speech that she continued without hearing him approach.

"So I think it'll work," she was saying, and Sasuke was suddenly just a little bit curious. "After all, they're not hard to toy with, of all the people in Konoha."

"Not hard to manipulate, you mean," Choji said disapprovingly. It was clear he hadn't noticed the Uchiha's approach, either.

Ino frowned and shoved a lock of pale hair behind her ear indignantly. "It's not manipulation if you have their best interests at heart," she protested.

"Of course not," Shikamaru sarcastically drawled in response.

Sasuke wondered, vaguely, if he could make it around them, to his home, without being caught. He didn't want to get involved. He really didn't want to get involved.

But he was already involved.

This sucked.

"What did you do?" he asked Ino, pressing his fingers to his temples in exasperation. She jumped and stared at him for one long, paralyzed second, then started to talk.

--

"What're you laughing at?" Naruto snapped, self-conciously touching one ear of his outfit. "I did it for you, y'know! I was _trying_ to help!"

"Why did you think that dressing up... never mind. You know what? Never mind." The canine-nin seemed in perfectly good spirits, though, snorting insanely, shaking his head with every word. "You're ridiculous, did you know that?"

Naruto rolled his eyes, already irrated, his embarassment vanishing in place of indignation. As the situation happened to fall, however, he wasn't entirely sure of a good retort he could make. "Yeah, well, at least I'm toilet trained."

"So'm I." The insult didn't seem to have the desired effect; that stupid smile seemed unable to be erased from Kiba's face.

"Newspapers don't count."

Kiba smirked. "Well, but you love me, so it's all okay."

The blonde eyebrows furrowed. "Hey, don't make fun of that. I'm sorry, alright; I didn't mean for you to hear."

Kiba didn't say anything, just stood there, head tilted slightly, a ridiculous grin plastered on his face. Naruto's insides squirmed; the moment stretched beyond where it was pleasant and to the point where it got really uncomfortable, but he figured he couldn't really just walk away. Kiba watched his blonde shift from one foot to the other, unsure, uncertain, then stepped forward, grabbed his shoulders, and kissed him, suddenly and without hesitation, or regret.

They weren't experienced so they were clumsy and sloppy and fumbling, but there was something behind the kiss that fueled it beyond the stumbling intermingling of teeth and tongues, made it better than Kiba'd ever imagined a kiss could be. Not that he'd spent overmuch time imagining it before the previous night. All he really knew was that there was something moving him, something strong and invisible and potent in every pore of his body, pouring through him, as he and Naruto stood in the middle of the street in an old training outfit and a bunny suit, making out, and ignoring the puzzled look of passerbys as if the entire world had disappeared around the two of them.

And that was perfect and wild and insane and stupid and fit the two of them just right.

--

E/N: ...Friggin' squee, neh? There was a time when I had just started this fic that I was trying to figure out where to go with it and I closed my eyes and I saw Kiba making out with Naruto-in-a-bunny-suit. That has been my muse and my goal (much like the Mt. Hokage scene was for me for Fireworks, anyone whose read that one...); through all patches of confusion and writer's block, I've held to Kiba making out with Naruto-in-a-bunny-suit, and fought long and hard to work it in here. Mind you, it's not an easy thing to do! Giving characters an excuse to dress up like a bunny and snog other characters is never easy! I believe this may be my high point of this fic; perhaps, my high point as a writer. I present myself one trophy.


	11. Victory Dance

Chapter 11

Victory Dance

by Ember

A/N: Wh00t. :) This is getting so close. I can feel the pulsating tension that is the end of a fanfic, the epic peak of the story, the final end of the character development, the untimely end of the song I'd been hoping would provide lyrics till the last chapter. Happens every time.

And just to top things off, I don't like this chapter. At all. Christ it's short! And crap! Arrrg! -dies-

Review Replies!

ST: Heheh! Thanks so much. :) And yes, well, that lady should have known better than to walk around in the later chapters of one of my fanfics. She's lucky they were only kissing. :D

Shadow Kitsune67: Thanks so much for the review! SasuNaru is cute... but so's KibaNaru! I can't pick favorites. But there are certainly enough SasuNaru fics and not nearly enough KibaNaru. :D

Kazoua: If you're sad it ended, I have good news. :D It didn't. :P But your review made me very happy, thanks so much for all the praise!

Kanemoshi: Heheheh... -innocent look- I can't help but add some hints at SasuNaru... it'd get OOC otherwise. :D But in this fic he's gonna be more big-brotherly. It all fits in with my plot. Somehow. I'll figure it out.

Shades of Hades: Hahah! I don't think I've ever been called sane before, but awesomeness, I feel understood. :3 Sure you can read it. :D As soon as I'm done I'll try and post an edited version, an' then if you want I'll e-mail you the unedited. :3 Or PM it:D -is way too easily amused by FF PMs!- ...Personally, I'm of the opinion that Kiba is the only element that can make SasuNaru even more happy. And, y'know, all combinations applicable.

B: -beams!- :D

--

Look to the past and remember a smile

And maybe tonight I can dream for a while

I'm not in this scene, I think I'm fallin' asleep

But all that it means

Is I'll always be dreaming of you

--

"And so," Ino said with a heavy sigh, spreading her hands, "that's how the whole thing turned out." She didn't feel all that great having to explain the whole thing to Sasuke, who looked increaingly more apathetic, which was a sure sign he was getting increasingly upset. "I've been working uphill the whole way and now I lost the bet, sort of, but..." Here she suddenly grinned, pleased with herself and her inherent brillance, Sasuke's displeasure forgotten. She was, after all, a ninja, and she was a ninja who had just acheived her goal, which was guarenteed to be a happy ninja, as they went. "I was right."

"Right about what?" Chouji asked, rolling his eyes at at her and turning back to his more logical and sane teammate. Shikamaru, distracted by Ino's strategic insertion of 'sort of,' didn't notice for a few seconds that he was expected to support Chouji.

Ino rolled her own eyes right back at him. "That they liked each other, dumbass. Wasn't I, Shikamaru?" And here her grin took on a decidedly vindictive tone. "_Some_ people told me that I was wasting my time and getting involved in things I shouldn't have, but _I_ was right."

Shikamaru opened his mouth to say something, but Sasuke, expecting it would be irrelevant anyway, cut him off, his tone cold but almost angrily biting off each word as he spoke. "So this whole... this whole damn thing was because of a bet?"

"Yes," Chouji stuck in condemningly. Ino blinked, not quite expecting this reaction and her pleasure in her achievement forgotten.

Sasuke started to say something, thought better of it, and only managed a clipped, "You're all idiots," before he stormed past them, around the corner, and through the door to the Uchiha Mansion, slamming the door closed behind him. He stopped in the first room without even turning on the lights and blinked in the dark room, struggling with himself. He was feeling particularly not-apathetic at the moment, which was an odd feeling in and of itself. On one hand, Naruto was his best friend- his only friend- and here he was letting him get walked all over by the damn mutt who was trying to manipulate him. On the other hand...

Scratch that. There really only was the one, wasn't there?

Apathy be damned. He wanted nothing more than to sit this one out and not touch this little knot, but he couldn't do that. Well, he could have, and he probably should have, and this wasn't his place and he wanted to say he didn't really care what Naruto felt, and it was the blonde's problem and the little idiot always did say he could take care of himself.

And then he would get the inherently satisfying mental image of his foot contacting Kiba's stomach, and he knew he'd gotten mired in this mess the second he learned about it. It was that whole 'friendship' bullshit.

Spinning on his heel, he paced right back outside, past a still-shocked Team 8, back the way he'd come.

--

Naruto was confused. He was confused a lot more often than he usually chose to let on, but at the moment, things were particularly confusing, and in result he was more so than usual. And yet for the moment- only this moment, but it seemed like enough- everything seemed to be going right, perfect, for him, everything seemed to be falling into place at his pace and keeping up with every pulsating emotion that flickered through his brain. It still wasn't clear but it seemed like maybe clarity was overrated in the long run.

Kiba's hand cupped his face and tilted his head up into the kiss, which was clumsy and fumbling but still felt good, right, as if this just happened to be the right thing to be doing at the moment. For a long second, he let himself be completely without regrets. He didn't regret telling Kiba that he loved him, even though just a few minutes before he had. He didn't regret moving in with him, even though that wasn't his choice and it had come with its share of crappy moments, too. He didn't regret the years and years of stupid jokes and dimly-viewed pranks and load, coarse comments that made his classmates consider him immature and intellectually void. Because for a short amount of time, he let himself believe that at least Kiba, of all people, knew better, knew that really, he was intelligent, he just wasn't a good representative of himself.

He didn't really have much proof of that. But, for one long second, he let himself believe it, and everything just seemed so indescribably perfect, even if maybe it wasn't.

And then there was a sudden flash of heat and light and the snogging shinobi leapt apart, Naruto grabbing for his shruiken, Kiba grabbing a terrified Akamaru off the ground. Sasuke's seal hand was still smoking from where he'd sent the Katon right over their heads. He looked completely emotionless, but not in the way that Sasuke was always emotionless, but the way he always looked when he was really upset. This required a different level of apathy than the really-apathetic lack of emotion and the actually-delighted lack of emotion.

And after so many years, Naruto could see how livid his teammate really was, in every line of muscle, in every facial feature, in every inch of his stance. Most notibly, in how lax he was with the fireballs. Kiba, who only saw a stock-still, stoic ninja who had tried to incinerate them for absolutely no reason, let Akamaru back onto the ground and tried to figure out what just happened.

"Inuzuba." The Uchiha was glaring, his eyes already swimming with crimson. That wasn't such a good sign, either. "Don't. Fucking. Touch him."

Kiba's mouth split into a snarl and he inched closer to Naruto as if daring Sasuke to challenge him. Whether or not Sasuke had a reason to act like this, it was still completely out of line and he was thoroughly pissed off at the other teenager. Hey, if the Uchiha was jealous maybe he should have tried being less of an asshole all the time to Naruto. "It's none of your fucking business."

"Sasuke," Naruto snapped, further confused by his teammate and now thoroughly pissed off because the arrogant bastard had ruined yet _another_ one of Naruto's somewhat rare, great moments of life. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but this really isn't any of your business, so really..."

"Ask him," the Uchiha said cooly, waving towards Kiba. "Ask _him_ why... why this is going on, Naruto." His voice was expressionless to the point where it was considerably less sexy than scary. "Ask him how much he bet that he could fuck you before you caught on."

Kiba's stomach lodged painfully in his windpipe, and he made a quiet little choking sound as he tried to swallow it back down. _Shit._

Naruto glared at his best friend, then looked at Kiba for support; the canine-ninja was looking away, refusing to meet his eyes, and Naruto felt his heart plummet to somewhere around his ankles. "Kiba?" he whimpered, then hated himself for how weak it sounded, because this wasn't _real_ love, was it; it shouldn't effect him like this because it was just some stupid farce that he wasn't smart enough to see through. And it wasn't that Kiba didn't see how smart Naruto really was, it was that Naruto didn't see how _stupid_ he was, and Kiba and Ino and Sakura and everyone else had been in the right all along.

Kiba didn't answer. And then, in a very small and embarrassed voice, he managed, "I wasn't planning on _fucking_ you." Which really didn't make the point he intended to make, because _after_ that would be the appeal that really, he _did_ care about Naruto, and things had just gotten really mixed up in the process, but how was he supposed to say that? He didn't know what he was supposed to _do_! "Listen, Naruto..."

But it was a little late for that. The blonde was already gone, a log clattering to the ground in his place, leaving Kiba and Sasuke staring at each other, neither having any idea what to say.

"Shit," Kiba growled, and buried his fingers in his hair, pressing his palm against his eyes. "Shit. Naruto!" He yelled the last as if hoping to call the kitsune back, but didn't run after him. Did Naruto want him running after him? He didn't _know_. Would it somehow bring him some sort of intuitive knowlege about how to deal with the situation, or just fuck things up more?

"He's not coming back," Sasuke drawled.

Kiba's shoulders were bunching uncomfortably in a way that would have raised his hackles, if he'd had any. "What did you _do_, Uchiha?"

The genius shinobi glared, understated, at the brunette. "I told him what you were too scared to. Were you going to let him go on thinking that you cared?"

"You don't know what's going on!" Kiba looked distinctly like an animal caught in a corner, or in a cage. His hair was bristling, like fur down his neck, giving him a distinctly feral look and adding an edge onto his appearance. "You have no clue!"

"You're lying to him."

"It's not that simple." He was going to start pacing any second now. Akamaru whimpered, as if uncertain where his master was going with this. "It's more than that, Sasuke. I've been Ino's bitch for a while, yeah-" there was really no use in denying it, even though he didn't much like the way that came out, any more than what he'd told Naruto- "but it... it stopped being only that, I... it did, and this isn't just in my head, it started to be something else..."

"And he thinks you care about him." Was that a flicker of actual _anger_ in Sasuke's eyes, or was Kiba just seeing things? "And he ran off and sobbed on the fucking ground because he thought he loved you. And all you can say is that you did it for more than money." The Uchiha turned around and started to walk away, more so Kiba wouldn't see the emotion in his face and shoulders than because he considered the discussion over. Naruto was the closest thing he'd ever had to a real friend, because Naruto was the safe ground; where he _knew_ he wasn't going to be hurt, because you had to be an idiot to think Naruto would hurt him, at least not where it mattered. Even when they fought, and fought for real, not sparring; even when Sasuke turned against Konoha, Naruto had never knowingly, permanantly, hurt him. The fact that he was being kicked like this pissed Sasuke off, in the way he supposed brothers got pissed if someone besides them picked on their own blood. "You're screwing him over, Inuzuba."

"I'm screwing him something," was Kiba's growled reply, and then he had to stop and wonder where the hell that had come from. It had gotten Sasuke's attention, though; the other shinobi stopped mid-step and stood as though shocked in the middle of the street. "Because I love him."

Akamaru and Sasuke both swivelled to look at him, but Kiba only vaguely noticed. Hell, it was news to him, too. When had that happened, anyway? But it made sense, if he thought about it enough; feeling this way wasn't so new, and really that rush may as well have been the return of the energy invested in pretending he didn't.

And all of the sudden he knew what to do. He'd thought of what he could say, to make it better, what he'd done to Naruto. It was cheap and overdone and not at all thought through, but that was what made Kiba, Kiba, wasn't it? If he made a well-developed and successful plan, no one would recognize him anymore.

"Because," Kiba said, and was it just him or did the world seem unusually quiet about then? "Because I've been stupid and short-sighteded and useless, and he loves me anyway. Well, he's been stupid and immature and all of the above his whole life- and I love him back."

And then he turned on his heel and followed after Naruto, leaving Sasuke and Akamaru behind, neither able to come up with a damn thing to say to that.

--

E/N: Aaaack! I'm so sorry. I am. I've been trying to make this work. Or make it... y'know, okay. But I don't like it. I don't like it at all. -dies several times-

On the bright side, though, there IS a point to all of this. And no, it's not all downhill from here, either. I don't work like that. Now will come some fluffy fishing for forgiveness. Which hopefully I'll be able to pull off.


	12. Because Love Solves Everything

Chapter Twelve: Because Love Solves Everything

by Ember

**A/N (Anniversary Edition!)**: I'm not sure how old they are, so I made up an age. Seventeen. :D A fine age. I'll be seventeen in less than 6 months now.

Oh! And January 26! It'llbethe one-year-anniversary of this fanfic! (I pwned ADD!) That means there are some of you that have been following this story and reviewing and such for a whole year!

That makes me awfully happy. :D

As does the fact that when I first posted this, I could find a total of two KibaNaru fics- one of which happened to be SA. Keheh. Now I can find at least a solid dozen. (More than likely, I'm not so much a trendsetter as a happened-to-get-to-the-keyboard-first, but hey, I'm not above self-delusion. :D)

So here's to... it not taking another year to get this thing finished:3

**Review Replies!**

Kazoua: XD Well, I'm a review-whore, and this story was doing so well! Plus, y'know, loose ends, an' all the rest of that. I always write about stupid boys. Oh, the blunders that they cause. What fun:D Thanks again for the review!

ST: -giggles- I was a little nervous about that whole thing, myself. I was all, 'well gee, psychologically, his own experience with the big-brother role would encourage him to stay away from it...' and then I told myself to shut up, 'cause it's a fanfic. XD I overthink things. Thanks again for the review, and I hope exploding spleens are a compliment... :P

Anjo: I will finish! Eventually. :3

Andie 500: They did:o When did that happen? Thanks for the review. :

Ky0Kichi: XD That review brightened my day a little. :3 Thanks again!

Skittles the Sugar Fairy: Keheh... I like cliffhangers! I'm glad you're enjoying my story... Your name is the same as my dog's, sans the Sugar Fairy part. :P

Kaneshimo:3

A.Ishiro: Of course I will finsh it. :D It might take a while, but I'll finish it.

nighinvisible: omg! 100th review. :D Thank you

LEather MONkey: It took me forever to figure out your name. Then I was all, "Oh, lemon!" :D. Yeah. Thanks so much for reviewing!

Teddy-chan: Damn straight there's not enough of this pairing. :3 Thankies muchly for your review!

Falya-kun:3 -beams!- Thankies muchly

--

So denied

So I lied

Are you the now or never kind?

In a day

And a day love

I'm gonna be gone for good again

--

Times like these it was best to be alone. Sit alone and think about how much shit there is in the world, and how much you have to go through, and how stupid you've been and how stupid you'll be and how nothing ever really goes right. Just when it looks like something might...

Blinking back tears, Naruto threw his hands up to his hair, ripping the ears off his hood, and stared at the rapidly blurring ground. Dammit. Dammit dammit. Why did this sort of thing always seem to happen to him...?

This was crap.

He didn't expect for this to happen. He really hadn't. Somewhere inside of him, underneath that part that lived by Murphy's Law and knew that something, _something_ would go wrong no matter what, some part of him thought that this time everything could just turn out right, and it would all end Happily Ever After. Love was supposed to do that.

He thought he was alone, and somehow his misery disabled the shinobi part of his brain that was constantly on the alert. So he wasn't expecting to suddenly _not_ be alone. "Naruto?"

The kitsune was on his feet so fast his knees snapped, but he kept his balance and almost sparked, feline, at the intruder on his thoughts. Kiba, looking somehow surprised to see him (or maybe just surprised at his reaction), stumbled out of the denser parts of the woods, then, nervously, shoved his hair back out of his face. His hood was down, showing every earnest line of his face- but Naruto didn't even notice the appologetic body language. Boys can't read it, anyway. "What are you doing here?" He sounded personally offended, and realized to his own surprise, enfuriated. He didn't play the victim well.

The words seemed to throw the other boy off, and for a second, the lack of balance sprang to the forefront. "It's not like it's your damn woods," Kiba snapped back without thinking, then caught himself. "Damn. I came to say-"

Naruto sucked in a deep breath and cut in, "That you're sorry." He caught the other boy off-guard; Kiba didn't say anything for a second. "That you didn't mean for it to go this far."

"No, Naruto-"

"That you didn't want to get this deep into it because it was all a fucking _joke_, to you."

Kiba moved his hand sharply as if to wave away the smaller boy's words. "Listen, Naruto, that's not-"

"Go away, Kiba." He started to take his own advice, walking away from Konoha to give the dog shinobi a place to go. Kiba stood there for a second, still stammering out objections, watching the blonde just... walk away.

Then he decided- what the fuck. He'd play it by ear. Bludering forward in his own style, he snatched Naruto up by the arm, twisted him around, and locked his mouth over the kitsune's in a clumsy but demanding kiss. The blonde gasped into his mouth but didn't try to pull away; in fact, when the canine-nin's arm circled around his waist, brushing over the back of his thigh, he went limp in Kiba's arms, as if hell, it didn't really matter anymore.

But when Kiba pulled away, there was glimmering of fear in Naruto's eyes- and a hell of a lot of confusion. Naruto spent a lot of his time confused.

"I love you," Kiba growled, bluntly and matter-of-fact, so much so that it couldn't have possibly been fabricated.

That was, obviously, supposed to fix everything.

Somehow, it didn't. The confusion in Naruto's eyes got deeper; it was impossible to tell what was bullshit and what was sincere, what Kiba meant and what they'd laugh over later. He started to pull away, felt Kiba's grip tighten, and disappeared in a cloud of smoke, a stick clattering to the ground where he'd been. Kiba looked down at it, kicked it with one foot, then sighed, a full-body sigh that did nothing to make him feel any better.

--

When it was pretty clear that Sasuke wasn't moving, Shikamaru said, "You know," (at this point whatever trauma inherent in a love confession from Kiba, towards anyone, broke, and Sasuke's rooting into the road below him where he'd been standing without moving for the past few minutes dissolved. The same could not be said, unfortuantly, for Akamaru, who still looked like someone had clubbed him in the back of the head.) "That was all your fault. Don't you?" The Uchiha glared. "They were getting along fine. Yeah, a little bruising of the pride, but your teammate would have been better off without knowing that."

"Oh yes, of course," the pale shinobi sneered, rolling his eyes and already turning to walk past Shikamaru. "Because I'm sure he would have never figured it out on his own. But I'm sure as long as you had your laugh, you'd be fine with it."

Shikamaru warded the comments off with his hands. "Hey, I just watched. Don't put _me_ in the situation."

Sasuke's glare fell just short of condemning. "You put yourself in the situation." Finally seeming to recover, Akamaru toddled after him and ignored the deathglare he was given.

Shikamaru wasn't sure how to reply. Finally, he started to follow Sasuke, at his own sedate pace. For a minute or two, it looked like the Uchiha would lose him, but finally he grudgingly slowed down. "Where are we going?"

"Ino."

That wasn't exactly what Shikamaru hoped to hear- but then again, what had he expected? Nap time? (A nap sounded good at the moment, actually, but he didn't stop. He owed it to... well, he owed it to someone. Call it karma.)

--

Uzumaki Naruto was a shinobi; Hokage-to-be and vessel for one of the most potent demons of all time. He'd faced down ninjas twice his age and experience and lived to brag about it. He had more potential than anyone else he knew, even Sasuke and Gaara if he felt like obsessing over it like they did (hey, he didn't want to be a jerk).

So he wasn't gonna be scared of one fleabitten Genin and three of the stupidest words anyone's ever said.

Dammit, he was cooler than this!

So he went back to Kiba's apartment. It was pretty much his home after all this time, anyway, and he didn't want anyone to think Naruto would be chased out of his home over something stupid like this. He stormed into the kitchen, hit the refrigerator twice with his fist, and, snarling, paced into the living room. This was crap. _This was so much shit!_

He didn't want to be in love. He wanted to date hot chicks and find a sexier girlfriend than Sasuke had and a part of him still wanted to win over Sakura with his good looks and charm. He wanted to be a nice, normal boy with nice, normal concerns and nice, normal hormones, wanted to have stupid flings and biting crushes and a few bad breakups and a few hard falls.

But whenever he thought of dating, there was Kiba. Whenever he thought about trotting out some girlfriend on his arm to spite Sasuke, said girlfriend was always taller than him, with brown hair and a serious lack of boobs. And thinking of sex, which since he turned fourteen three years ago and first started thinking about it had involved titties and high-pitched squeals of delight at his manly valor, now much more involved... more familiar anatomy.

He didn't want that. Well, he did- but he didn't _want_ to want it.

Naruto spent a great deal of his time confused- and this was just one more thing on the pile. He was in love with someone he never even wanted to be friends with. He was living with someone he never wanted to be in the same town as. Akamaru hated him, Sasuke didn't respect him, and Kiba wouldn't come near him, and somehow, he felt like, despite everything he felt, nothing had changed.

Until the door opened.

It had to be Kiba, because anyone else would have knocked. Naruto wanted to go to his room, or leave the apartment, or just go _somewhere_. He didn't, though. He stood his ground and faced down his roommate like he would have faced down an enemy. He opened his mouth, and tried to find something to say, but couldn't find a single damn word. What on earth could he say?

Kiba knew all of it.

He knew that Naruto was in love with him, he knew that Naruto couldn't stand that he'd been led on like this. Naruto knew that he was supposed to be in love with him. He knew that... he knew that Kiba said he loved him back. That should be enough. The part of him trying to sew back up his heart kept telling him it was enough.

"Naruto," Kiba said, imploringly; his voice broke on the last syllable. Naruto grabbed his lower lip in his teeth and stared at the ground. What could he say? He didn't even know if he believed that Kiba loved him back- and if he did, what did it change? Was Naruto really going to put all past offense on hold just on that fact alone?

Was it worth it?

Was it worth it not to?

Kiba didn't know what to take for Naruto's silence. It would be easier if he would just yell at him, would just scream until he'd emptied out all that spite and they could move on to make things right. Or not. Right now, being completely denied by Naruto seemed like the worst thing in the word, but it couldn't, couldn't, be worse than the look on his face now.

It would be easier to not have to say anything. So Kiba lurched forward, grabbed Naruto by his shoulders, and plastered him against the wall of his living room, pressing their mouths together impulsively. His teeth came into contact with Naruto's upper lip, but aside from an initial grunt of pain, the blonde didn't protest.

It felt good. Once they slowed down enough so they could do it without being so clumsy, it felt good to be pressed against the wall, to be kissed like this, to be kissed by Kiba. Naruto let his mouth be pushed open and felt the hot invasion of the other shinobi's tongue; he leaned into the canine-nin's hard embrace and closed his eyes into the kiss.

Talking about it was painful. Confronting it was hard. He'd have to deal with the fact that he was being played with, toyed with, mowed over. This was easy, and it felt good, and he realized with a start that he didn't need to be duped or screwed over or even in love to be doing this; it was something quick and physical and something he really did want under those stupid, rolling waves of confusing emotion.

Experimentally, Naruto flicked his hands under the dog ninja's heavy shirt, whisking them over the hard, muscled planes of his chest. Kiba's teeth dug gently into his lower lip and tugged on it, his own hands running lightly down his roommate's sides. The ghost of a shudder ran down Naruto's spine, partly at the physical and partly at the realization that he didn't know how far this was going to go.

He didn't really care, once he paused to think about it. He felt so disconnected, on the edge of sex with the boy who'd just torn his heart to peices- but at the same time, it was an extended period of disconnection, and that was what he wanted, right now. Connecting was hard. Being in love, especially being in love with Kiba, was hard.

This was easy.

--

A/N: Yay for the human condition This has to be one of my favorite chapters so far. Don't ask me why. :3 No, it's not terribly long, but y'know what? I'm happy with it. I accept it for who it is. -emoticon heart-


	13. Because Sex Solves Everything

Chapter Thirteen: Because Sex Solves Everything

by Ember

**Warning**: The following chapter contains **graphic sexual content** between two boys. Please read with caution. If you didn't see this coming (please don't make the pun ;-;) then I appologize profusely.

¤¤¤

A/N: ...I gotta appologize.

Sometimes shit happens. And sometimes shit happens to pile up in such a way that it suffocates you in one giant, odorous, sticky pile of nasty and you have no where to turn but down the dark dark tunnel of your own self-pitying angst. Between the anemia, the bronchitous, the car accident, the insurance issues, the lawsuit, the two-weeks worth of makeup work, the dozen-and-a-half make-up tests, the AP testing, finals, the art contest, the family issues, the extended family issues, the ants (DAMN THE ANTS), and the occasional intrusion of a social life, my fanfic muse hasn't been up to par lately. But really, that's none of your problems, and I'm sorry I left this out on a limb for so long... I just haven't been up to it. Thanks so much for sticking with us.

I doubt you all remember your reviews by now, so I'll just thank you all right here:

Huge thanks (and blueberry muffins!) to YashaK, Cherry Daze, ForgottenSecrets, Koril Draconic, Skittles the Sugar Fairy, ST, Kanemoshi, Suiton, Turtle Kid, Kazoua, blue-genjutsu, Crystal Fang, Alchomist Neko-chan, Mrs.ishida ,Shadow Kitsune67, Impressive, Ancient History, (none), Tris the weatherwitch, makenzi, Fluffystwin, YaoiWriter2500, NekoKaru, and amekan for your wonderful reviews! I'll reply to reviews proper-like next chapter. -nodnod-

(Ooh, I also got my first ever flame on this story! Do you all know how long I've been writing yaoi fiction? And not a SINGLE flame? So score.)

--

Are you willing

To be had

Are you cool with just tonight?

Here's a toast

To all those who hear me all to well

--

They should have waited for the smoke to clear, but, not knowing what they would find when it did, they plunged ahead, stupid and blind and desperately seeking solstace.

Nervous but enthusiastic, they made it to the couch, locked at the mouth and at their hands, held out to their sides with fingers curled together. Naruto sat on the couch, then, breaking their kiss (and breathing hard; he'd almost forgotten to breathe) folded his legs under him and knelt, tilting his head up towards the canine. Kiba pressed their joined hands back until Naruto's shoulderblades pressed into the back of the couch, then leaned in and pressed a dried-lipped kiss to his neck, then a daring lick. With the kitsune's breathless (and somewhat embarrassed) encouragement, he traveled down the bared expance of skin, pausing when his mouth met the neck of the blonde's shirt. There he paused, not quite sure, still not certain he didn't want to just be straight and forget this mess. But Naruto's skin was hot under his mouth and the sounds he made when Kiba bit down on the hard muscle under his tan were going straight to his crotch, the need to take this further becoming insurmoutable.

"You sure about this?" he asked, the words somewhat muffled by the skin in his mouth.

Naruto's hands were lost in the dark mane of Kiba's hair. "Yeah," he answered, with a definite hint of uncertainty. Still, damned if he was gonna be the one to back out. He was just as hardcore as his roommate- probably more- and not the chicken and that felt really good, anyway, and he couldn't stop, didn't want the other boy to stop it.

Kiba looked up at the blonde, a little unsure, but the clouded look in his eyes, the desire in his face, decided the matter for him. They were in it too deep, had been for a while, now. Besides, Kiba wasn't gonna be the one to back out now.

He slid his leg between the smaller boy's thighs and leaned in over him, deepening their kiss and shoving him further against the back of the couch, sinking into the coushions. Naruto's lips parted and Kiba's tongue slid inside his mouth, moaning at the slick feeling of the other boy's return invasions.

When they broke apart for the second time, Naruto's breath rasped out as a sigh. "Kiba?" he asked, his voice unusually quiet. Kiba wasn't used to hearing his friend (they were friends, now?) sounding anything but egotistically certain.

"Hmm?" he asked, not really focusing on the conversation at all.

The blonde smiled, but it wasn't his normal smirk. "We have no idea what we're doing."

The dog-boy smiled back; he was pretty sure it lacked the cocky angle of his usual expression, too. "It feels right," he rasped out, realizing with a jerk that it did, and he was panting, and he was hard. He reached down and experimentally tugged the blonde's shirt up to his armpits. Naruto raised his arms and the cloth slid over tanned shoulders, mussed blonde tangles, and finally hit the floor. Naruto snatched double handfuls of fur-lined jacket and shoved it off the larger shinobi's shoulders, pulling the shirt underneath over Kiba's head. Skin hit heated skin. Naruto jerked in a ragged lungful of air as his shoulders hit the arm of the couch, pushed over onto his back by the larger ninja.

Wait, onto _his_ back?

"Who says you get to be on top?" he growled mutinously, his fingers digging little fuorrows into the tanned skin just under Kiba's abs. He didn't know much about this sort of thing, at least not the this-sort-of-thing that involved two cocks and no boobs, but he knew what happened to the dude on the bottom, and dammit, Kiba probably couldn't even do the dominant part right.

Sharp teeth flashed in Kiba's smile, and this time all those angles were there. "Like you could push me off," he growled cheerfully, already working Naruto's bright orange pants off his waist, exposing the line of blonde curls that trailed from the fox's bellybutton down to the tent over his crotch, hidden by black-and-red boxers. Naruto's palms pressed against Kiba's chest, blue eyes narrowed almost into a pout.

It was a very cute pout, for the record.

"I could so push you off," the blonde growled. "I kick your ass in training."

Clawed fingers trailed over the bulge, tracing one red line in the cotton-polyester. Kiba's expression made it clear it was nothing to do with physical ability; his fingers pressed down on the hard heat he could feel clearly even through the cloth. "Could you really."

He couldn't, really.

Naruto kicked his pants off and squirmed in embarassment as Kiba drew his underwear down off his hips, the teasing ending in favor of more of the frenzied haste that had gotten them this far. He was a little scared- not that he'd ever let anyone know, dammit- and he felt remarkably exposed. So, there it was. There, for God and all the world to see.

He muttered, "I can't believe we're doING," then cut off after the last high-pitched and surprised syllable as the canine-nin leaned down and trailed a broad, flat tongue over the underside of his dick. He considered finishing the sentence, but Kiba took him all the way into his mouth and he found to his own amazement he was incapable of saying a damn thing beyond, "Nnng," and quiet, frenzied gasps. His fingers tangled in brown hair, absently shoving the dog ninja's head down into his crotch, hurried whimpers breaking from his throat. It felt good. It felt incredible. _He couldn't believe they were doing this_.

All too soon, the wet heat of the other boy's mouth drew away. Naruto's fingers tightened in the dark snarls of hair, pushed the head back down, and growled under his breath- then blushed because he'd never _growled_ like some horny freak before, although the blush probably wasn't even visible in the full-body flush that kept him warm and light-headed since they'd started. Kiba growled back, and it sounded so much more... real, coming from him, and then Naruto was pressed down on his back, pinned down on the cushions, with a force that caught him off guard, and sped up his heart. He could feel his pulse hammering through every vein in his body, and it wasn't because he was startled.

Kiba slid between the blonde's thighs, wearing an expression somewhere between amusement and a posessive smirk, an expression that pissed the kitsune off even while it turned him on. "You don't get all the fun," he said quietly, sliding the rest of his own clothes off tan legs, dark curls of hair and an hard-on that caused a pang of warring excitement and a weird sort of fear that was really more an anticipation of pain than anything recognizible as an emotion.

"We need," the blonde said, going over his limited library of knowlege of gay sex, "something. Like lotion, or something. Slippery."

Kiba had body lotion in the bathroom and a mostly-empty tube of hand lotion in the desk by the couch. Naruto didn't know which one worked better or if there would be any difference so by unspoken consent they went with the one that wouldn't require them to leave the couch.

Moving might make them start thinking and they didn't know what would happen once _that_ started up.

The lotion was messy and the little bit they managed to get out of the tube wound up all over Kiba's dick, crotch, one thigh, couch cushion, and, when Naruto had the poor form to snicker, half the blonde's face. Slick fingers lightly clutched Naruto's waist, and the kitsune held in breath as he felt the other boy press against his entrance... then slide inside.

It still _hurt_. But damn if it didn't hurt good- damn if the pain of being stretched out, forced in to, didn't turn him on more. His legs curled around Kiba's thighs, a muffled groan escaping his throat.

Kiba, marvelling in the feeling of the tight heat around him, easing his way into the smaller boy, was halfway in before he noticed the crease in Naruto's eyebrows, the parculiar way his eyes were screwed shut. "You alright?" he panted, pausing despite every instinct in every nerve ending screaming at him to go faster.

"It hurts," Naruto panted. Blue eyes snapped open. "Keep going."

"You sure?" Naruto's legs curled tighter around the dog-ninja's waist, his hips buckling forward, elicting a startled moan from the other shinobi and a slightly pained moan from the kitsune. "Crazy fuck," the brunette panted, then shoved his way all the way to the hilt, hissing at the feeling as the blonde cried out in mingled pain and satisfaction.

"Move," the fox growled, already getting used to the intrusion, shifting his hips again in demonstration. He liked the reaction it got. Kiba drew out, as slowly as he'd gone in- "I'm not _fragile_, dammit." -and pounded back into him hard enough to steal too much breath for the blonde to cry out.

Two more rough thrusts in and Kiba found the spot that made the other shinobi scream out- "Holy _fuck_ do that again," -and the blonde started roughly jerking himself off in rhythm to their coupling. Kiba was only barely in control of what his body was doing; clawed fingers tightened around the sharp curve of Naruto's waist as he ferally pounded the blonde, _his_ blonde, his damn fox. It felt good, fucking amazing, and the little sounds and louder sounds and screams coming from the smaller shinobi were driving him more than a little bit crazy. He felt himself reaching his own limits, and the motions got faster, harder, harder, more desperate-

He lunged forward, shoved in-

Teeth closed around a fold of skin just above Naruto's collarbone, hard, and he saw white and moaned loudly into the blonde's chest.

The sharp impact of teeth against skin, the feeling of Kiba's orgasm inside of him, sent Naruto over the edge, too, and, screaming the dog's name, he climaxed against Kiba's stomach almost pressed against the head of his dick.

For what felt like the first time all night, he sucked in air, his heart still thudding, the arm against Kiba's chest feeling the tattoo of the other boy's pulse.

Countdown to emotional breakdown: 3.

Kiba pushed himself off Naruto's chest, giving the bruising bite a sympathetic lick as he pulled his mouth away from the skin. At least he hadn't broken through. His teeth weren't quite sharp enough.

Countdown to emotional breakdown: 2.

Naruto managed to sit up and brace his back against the couch arm. Any further motion hurt, spasms of pain centered where it was expected but which traveled up his spine in shocking waves. It helped when Kiba pulled out, thoughtfully careful, sitting up against the opposite couch arm, facing the blonde.

Countdown to emotional breakdown: 1.

Naruto was shaking. Kiba looked up, concerned, to see the blonde with his face shoved in the cushion on the back of the couch. Kiba knew the feeling. New emotions, new feelings, swirled around with the old ones in a maelstrom in his gut until he was light-headed and kind of queasy and didn't feel sure of anything, really.

Countdown to emotional breakdown: 0.

"Naruto?" Kiba tendered, gently. "You alright?" No answer. "Are you crying?"

"No!" The face appeared out of the cloth, way more pissed off than sad.

And then they sat there, covered in semen and hand lotion and filled with regret and emotion and weighty words and bad situations and things boys just aren't _good_ at. And then Naruto turned and pressed his face against the cushion and absently beat up the couch arm with his fist, and Kiba sat there and didn't say anything and wondered how anyone was supposed to know what to _do_, when they were supposed to be in love.

--

For the third time, four loud knocks resonated throughout the Yamanaka home. For the third time, Ino, dressed in a towel and a bra, leaned out of the bathroom and screamed at whoever was behind the damn door to be patient.

When she finally finished getting dressed and stormed down to the front of the house and jerked open the door, she was a little startled to see black eyes staring her down from the porch. In particular, _those_ black eyes. Oh, she knew eventually Sasuke would come to his senses and then he'd be coming over all the time but she didn't think that so _soon_-

Akamaru, as if sensing an errant thought train, barked twice and broke her out of her reverie. Shikamaru looked imploringly at her and shrugged. Sasuke raised one eyebrow.

Ino sighed. "Is this about Naruto?" she asked, the tone of voice used on the name making it quite clear what she thought of the whole tiresome deal.

"Yes," Sasuke said, cooly and clipped.

Long silence. "Well?"

Shorter, more awkward silence. "They say they're in love with each other," Shikamaru sighed. Akamaru whimpered. He'd never liked Naruto very much.

"Well, duh," Ino said, rolling her eyes. "That was part of the whole thing." Of course they wouldn't understand, but they should've seen that much.

"Sasuke told Naruto what you guys did, though," Shikamaru said. When Ino blinked uncomprehendingly, he sighed and said, "You know, the emotional manipulation."

"Oh. That was nice of you," the blonde said, batting her eyes at the Uchiha. Sasuke didn't appear to hear the compliment, but she didn't get a chance to repeat it louder.

"They're conflicted," Shikamaru supplied.

"Weren't they always?"

"Naruto," Sasuke broke in, drawlingly, "has been doped into falling in love with someone who decided to requite _after_ manipulating him into the relationship."

"Oh," Ino said, blinking. "That does sound..."

"Kiba," Shikamaru supplied, "is just confused."

Ino rolled her eyes. "_That's_ no change. And hell, they'd be fuck near marriage if Kiba wasn't so inept at this sort of thing." She grinned suddenly, and Shikamaru cringed on reflex. "If _I_ had been the one playing matchmaker, it would've been different."

Another moment of silence, and then Shikamaru said, tiredly, "Whatever you're planning, drop it."

Ino only smiled.

--

E/N: So... I'm hoping y'all can forgive me for taking five months with this chapter... And I know it could be better, but I hope it lived up to expectations. Next chapter will hopefully come sooner.


	14. Afterglow

Chapter Fourteen: Afterglow

by Ember

**A/N**: I am very, very thankful to have wonderful reviewers with generous spirits that do not kill writers who spend manymany moons on each shortshort chapter.

I have, like, a buncha excuses for why this took me more than four months to update. But, as a mature writer who hates to make excuses for herself, I instead will nobly say "Look over there! A blimp!"

Fleeee!

Huge thanks to blissfulldarkness, Fullmetal Guitarist, ST, Tris the Weatherwitch, Gothangel123, Mou, MeowMeow Man, Koril Draconic, blue-genjutsu, Turtle-Kid, YaoiWriter2500, avila7989, Kanemoshi, Mrs-ishida, Heavenly Saint, Assassin of the Shadows, Ravenbolt, jubes jubes, Tsumetai Taiyoukai, Raven, PaperAce, Solo Maxwell-Yomato, and Buchmanseme for y'all's wonderful reviews.

--

The comb hit another tangle, and Naruto unflinchingly pulled until the plastic teeth, along with a little mat of blonde hair, ripped out of the wet mess that topped his head. He carelessly dropped it in the same motion, the comb hitting the counter by the bathroom sink with a clatter. Picking strands of hair from the teeth absently, Naruto glared at his reflection through the veil of steam condensing against the mirror. A boy of seventeen stared back, skin flushed from a hot shower that had washed Kiba's pale stain off his tan, scored Kiba's heady scent off of his, and heated out some of the ache in his lower body.

"Fag," he sneered at himself, then sighed and leaned forward, his forehead tapping against the mirror.

He wasn't going to start crying, dammit.

He'd fallen asleep on that stupid, ugly couch, swallowing tears. When he'd woken up, it was half-past-eleven, Kiba was gone, the sun was bright, the birds were singing, and he was lying naked on the couch, almost too sore to move. He'd managed to hobble into his bedroom, swallowing stupid hot tears, grab some clothing, and take a shower- which left him here, head against the mirror, not crying.

Where was Kiba?

He'd told Naruto he was in love with him- that was stupid; not even _girls_ liked Naruto, so why the hell would Kiba?- he'd started... the whole thing, last night; he was gone in the morning. Wasn't this the time they were supposed to sit and talk and shit, and make stuff better, and make it all make sense?

He knew it was beyond making sense.

But where was Kiba?

Did he really give a rat's ass about Naruto? Obviously not, 'cause he wasn't around now, and Naruto could really use someone who gave a damn around now.

This was all just a _game_ to him.

He heard the front door open and snatched up his clothes, getting dressed in a hurry without even bothering to wipe the last beads of water from his back, where droplets were running down from his hair. They soaked in dark circles through the cloth.

"Kiba?" he asked, surprised at how quiet his voice was. The air outside the foggy bathroom hit cool against his face, but he ignored it as he scanned the house. Louder, if still a little uncertain, he yelled, "Kiba?"

There was no response.

Walking, he found to his delight, no longer hurt, so he took the stairs two at a time as he thundered down towards the kitchen. Halfway down, he leaned over the railing and inspected the kitchen, the living room (skipping over the couch), and the front hall. Kiba was no where to be seen. "Anyone there?"

"Arf," said Akamaru, sitting in the hall and looking irritated.

"Nice to see you, too," Naruto said to the little dog, who glowered at him with beady little eyes. He walked up to the foot of the stairs and stared up at the fox, speculatively. Naruto folded down to sit on the stairs and folded his arms across his knees. "How'd you get in, anyway?" The front door was slightly open; Kiba must not have closed it all the way. That wasn't much like the territorial Kiba, but Akamaru didn't have a better situation to propose.

"Arf," he said, instead.

"Listen, Akamaru," Naruto told him, tiredly, his arms crossed defensively over his chest and his elbows resting on his knees, "you don't much like me. Which is fine, 'cause you're a stupid mutt and I don't like you, either."

"Arf?"

"But you don't have to deal with me. I don't care what Tsunade says, I'm going home."

"Arf."

"Don't bullshit me. He won't miss me at all." Akamaru's only response was to whine, so Naruto continued as if he had held up his end of the conversation. "He was standing me up the whole time. He was trying to win a _bet_."

Akamaru yawned, and trotted past Naruto up the steps.

"You're right," Naruto said, his shoulder slumping in desolation despite himself, "I'm hopeless. I should just go pack."

--

Kiba watched, awkwardly, as his- whatever Naruto was, friend or rival or lover or victim- curled around himself and went to sleep on the couch, and wondered, once again, what exactly he was supposed to do.

He took a shower, right then in the middle of the night, and went for a walk in the darkness, leaving the blonde stretched out and naked and, despite being sullied with all sorts of things looking amazingly, beautifully innocent, tussled and twisted as he was.

_I have to find Akamaru_, Kiba told himself as he ran, fled, bolted at a serene and sedate pace away from his own house and memories that threatened to give him wood all over again. Memories that made him sick, to his mind and his stomach and his heart.

He was in love.

He wasn't sure how to take it.

He'd always wanted to fall in love- something secure and solid to hit against after every mission, something to call permanently his own, the completion to a two member pack that would be the center of his life, like his father's pack was the center of himself. He'd always assumed it would be a good thing- a partner for life, someone who would always love him, someone who would have his back.

He found, quite to his surprise, that love _hurt_, in every sense possible. He'd managed a disjointed partner in crime (at best), a lover who hated him and a dude who was probably right now dreaming about his torturous death.

He'd mistreated Naruto. He knew that, and he felt that if he could pull that particular strain of guilt out of the mess of emotion that was boiling in his gut and had been for some time, now, that particular one would likely be the most painful. How could he do that? How could he stab someone in the back who had been his friend, mostly; his roommate, his crush and then his lover? He wouldn't have even done that to a stranger- the public aura emanated that it was alright to do it to Naruto; he was _Naruto_, but damn it, Kiba didn't want to hurt anybody.

He was buried in the bowels of love, but there were no answers here.

"I'm sorry," Kiba muttered under his breath.

He spent the entire night wandering, and was shocked to see the gray dawn rise sluggishly over the mountains lining Konoha's horizon. Lead lightened to silver and then was washed out in blue, and Kiba, chewing his lip, wondered why people always raved over the beauty of the sunrise. Some things, he supposed, were just never as beautiful as 'people' said they were.

"It's pretty, isn't it?"

The voice startled Kiba; he'd been walking all night and had been completely alone on the dark streets; he found, to his surprise, that he was right near the schoolyard and it was already a little after six. Shikamaru lay in the grass, watching the lights and tracing the silver-stained clouds with sharp, brisk motions of his forefinger, like an impressionist kindergartner fingerpainting the sky.

"I thought you slept in on Sundays." Kiba lingered, aloof, for a moment before folding to his knees on the dew-damp grass beside the shadow-nin.

The Chuunin grinned. "Nah," he said, batting sleep out of his eyes with a series of rapid blinks. "Watch the sky on Sunday mornings. I sleep in the other days."

Kiba snorted, and pulled his fingers up a wet stalk of grass, listening to it squeak under the pressure. "I don't watch the sunrise," he said, finally. "Why would I? The sunset's more colorful, anyway."

Shikamaru shrugged. "I guess so," he said. It was early, and it was so _troublesome_ to talk, but he continued anyway. "I lot of people think like that. I like the gray, I guess."

"Shadows."

Shikamaru shrugged and gestured towards the sky. "Light, too." On the inside, he was wincing. Ino needed to find someone better to write her dialogue. After all, she'd found some people to carry out the roles she wrote.

Kiba grunted and looked up at the sky. The light had strengthened and the sky had been stained a pale blue and, while he wasn't certain, he suspected sunrise was over.

"I guess it's because," Shikamaru continued after the timed pause, "sunset is flashy and colorful and bright, but once its over it fades away and goes dark, and then it's gone. Sunrise starts off gray and dim, but it just gets stronger from beginning to end, and always ends brighter than it began."

Kiba stared at Shikamaru for a moment in surprise, then, incredulously, asked, "Are you trying to give me romantic advice?"

Shikamaru only laughed, but it was strange-sounding and nor particularly convincing.

"Ino put you up to this, didn't she, Shikamaru?"

The shadow-nin shrugged. Kiba glared at him for a minute or two, and, eventually uncomfortable enough to shift his weight in the grass, he looked back up at the sky and studied the clouds.

"Tell her to fuck herself," Kiba snarled, finally, and staggered to his feet again, wiping the backs of his pants legs off where the dew had soaked through the denim. Shikamaru watched out of the corner of his eye as the irate canine-ninja briskly strode back into the street.

What the hell was that? Ino had implied that this would be the first huge step forward in her so-called brilliant, foolproof plan to reconcile the two shinobi and create an idealistic relationship between them. It had solved absolutely nothing, and served no purpose other than pissing Kiba off even more at Shikamaru's teammate.

What, exactly, was Ino _thinking_?

"You made things worse, you idiot," he muttered under his breath. And here he was, wasting his time for a plan he should have seen through in the beginning. He'd just gotten on Kiba's bad side, probably screwed Naruto over _again_, and, worst of all, he'd woken up at _five thirty_ on a Sunday. He _never_ woke up early on Sundays.

But, despite everything, the sunlight kept getting stronger.

--

Ino sat on the fence beside Konoha's main road, and smiled.

Shikamaru was the smartest shinobi the girl had ever met, and, so far, no one had ever surpassed him in brains or skill so far as she was aware. He knew strategy like the unholy love-child of Genghis Khan and a super-computer, had once employed complex trigonometry in a formula to figure out the number of alien twinkies it would take to amass the weight necessary to significantly alter Earth's orbit around the sun in order to justify his neglect of a homework assignment, could recite the calorie content of pretty much every food item Ino would ever come into contact with in order to make her life slightly easier, and couldn't tell a human emotion from a sick potato.

All in all, he might have been much, much smarter than she was. He might have combined street-smarts, book-smarts, Einstein-smarts, and a certain apathy for it all into one compact package. But, in the end, he was entirely concrete-smart, action-smart, numbers-smart. He wasn't people-smart; he didn't know what people were feeling, he wasn't entirely cognizant of emotional impact at all. Perhaps he understood the intricacies of warfare and combat, but he certainly didn't understand the pathways of the human heart, and he certainly didn't understand the complexities of an Ino-crafted plan.

Nor was he, as the smartest person in the class and accustomed to the assumption that if he didn't understand, no one could and there was something wrong, entirely willing to trust Ino's common sense and good judgement on the matter.

He looked like he was both puzzled and frustrated, lying on his back as he was, studying the sky. Like he was wondering what, exactly, Ino had planned, and whether or not, by pissing Kiba off even more than he was already pissed, he had screwed it up before it had begun.

"Don't worry so much," Ino purred, even if, across the street, he couldn't hear her. "You did everything perfect."

And then she jumped off the fence and hurried to watch her brilliant scheme unfold.

--

Sasuke stood by the door outside Kiba's apartment, and waited.

His job was fairly basic, and completely boring, and he was annoyed before he'd even begun.

"The problem is," Ino had told him, "that they have a million things to say, and they need to hear every word of it."

"So what you're saying is," Sasuke had drawled in response, "that they'll figure this whole thing out themselves."

Ino had only laughed; a bell-clear laugh that had honest-to-God _scared_ Sasuke. Only afterward did she realize who she was laughing at, and rubbed at the back of her head apologetically. "That's the _logical_ thing to think, of course," she said, but then grinned. "Please, Sasuke. Just make sure he gets here." She hadn't said 'please' to Shikamaru, but, since this was Sasuke's game as much as Ino's game, now- although it was her mess from the beginning and he thought she should fix it herself, and not drag others into it- he couldn't back out now.

He was, however, still incredibly annoyed.

--

Akamaru barked a couple more times, but Naruto was clearly not up to holding on more of a conversation. It was a shame- from what the terrier had gathered, it _should_ have been easy to let the blonde rile himself up enough to go looking for his master, but whatever- he could always play the traditional 'dog' card.

The first thing he grabbed happened to be a pair of fluffy white bunny ears.

Naruto glanced up from where he was grabbing handfuls of dirty clothes to dump, wrinkled and unfolded, into his suitcase. "Seriously, dog," he muttered, sounding just as miserable as he had when Akamaru first walked in. "Drop those."

Akamaru slowly, deliberately, jumped off the bed (from where he'd been sitting beside Naruto's suitcase, watching the kitsune pack) and waited on the floor.

"I don't have time for this!" Throwing a t-shirt down on the ground in frustration, Naruto started for the little dog- who bolted out the door as fast as he could run. Rolling his eyes, Naruto started after him, swearing when the little monster darted out the still-open apartment door.

Sasuke was standing in such a position that when Naruto swung open the door to charge after Akamaru, its width obscured the dark-haired shinobi. Naruto, intent on running down an innocent animal, didn't even notice he was there.

And, with a sigh, Sasuke followed after him.

--

--

**E/N**: I'm not fond of the ending of this chapter. .. But, I like the beginning. So, I hope you lot do, too.


	15. The Solution

Chapter Fifteen

The Solution

A/N: I have another short chapter for you lot! But! It only took, like, one month to write. As opposed to ninty-one. Yeah.

So, I feel inspired to confess, at long last, here on the last non-epilogue chapter... I have absolutely no clue where to start. Actually, I've been running blind this whole story, pretty much starting around Chapter Four.

So, I guess it's worked so far, so it'll keep working, right? It'll work itself out over the chapter, right? Right?

Right?

Review Replies!

(At first, I was hurt 'cause I thought I'd only gotten, like, three reviews on this chapter... then I realized FF was just bein' slow with sendin' y'all your alerts. So, nevermind! x3)

Axel-fiery gurl: xD Thank you! An' give some sympathy to poor Naruto. Heh!

Shinigami7: Ino is ridiculously fun to write. There is no angst there. Heheh! Thank you!

Alroy: No grammar or spelling errors:o Either I've been getting better or you weren't looking hard enough! xD Anyway, thank you for that lovely review; made my day.

Solo Maxwell-Yomato: Thank you!

Raven: Heheh, yes, I know what you're hinting at. :3 And it's up!

White Raven6: It scars either way. If you pick at it, it hurts and bleeds and swells a little and takes longer to heal.

Weelittlerobots: Heh. No, no- I'd let you all know if there was gonna be any SasuNaruness. Although I can't help dropping the hints- it was my first OTP for this fandom, y'know, so it still tugs a little on the writing. I kinda like the fraternal-love that exists between them in this fic, though- nothing romantic, just the rivalry-brotherly tension that underscores their canon relationship. D

mou: Right-o!

xoXokibasmyantidrugoXox: Hey, Kiba's my antidrug, too! And sorrysorry for the wait- nice to know I was missed, though. :3 Yes, I like cliffhangers- they make nice people come back for more. Thanks for the reivew!

Cool-Hanyou: Noo! I can't have you die! x3 You're one my my best reviewers!

Turtle Kid: Heheh, sorry 'bout that, then. I'm glad you liked the first part, though!

Fullmetal Guitarist: Story moves fast, writer moves slow. xD Blame not the plot for the sins of the author.

Justabruisedmemory: Nothing makes me smile like a long review. :3 Yeah, I agree some of the chapters could have been better- sometimes, I got lodged somewhere in the storyline and just felt like if I didn't write -something- in that file, I'd never finish the fanfic. (That doesn't always make for the most inspirational writing, but hell, it gets words hacked out...) Anywho, it's always nice to hear that even someone who isn't a yaoi fangirl can enjoy my fiction for the writing, if nothing else!

Fairy Blue: Why thank you!

Kibafan: Why do I keep killing people? XD Thanks a ton!

--

Blame is how the unappreciative give credit where credit is due, and so, in the end, Ino got every bit she deserved- at least, in the eyes of an optimist. She saved a friendship from a slow death based on a lack of respect and unidentified sexual tension. She built a relationship between two people who would have never let their hands touch in training, much less admit deep-seeded and passionate feelings. And, best of all, she removed Naruto's bulky presence as an obstacle in the path of her and Sasuke's fiery future liasons, clearing the way for their own blossom of love and loving to bloom.

In a perfect world, the blubbering thanks would begin in less than a minute.

Sasuke raised one arm in silent salute from across the road, and unbidden, the butterflies of affection stirred in Ino's stomach. He was so pretty, there with the grey light from early morning touching along the black locks of his hair.

"You conniving bitch." Romantic mood was gone, and here was the teary-eyed thanks _she_ got.

Kiba looked livid. The pieces had fallen together in his mind and he didn't look like he was enjoying the picture they made. His hair was a mess, there were purple bags under his eyes, and he looked generally like he hadn't slept in the past two days.

Actually, there was something about him that... looked ruffled. More ruffled than usual. _Did he get laid?_ She'd be surprised if he had, and _already_- but then again, they were boys, and boys were usually more eager about that. And less alert to potential emotional backlash.

"Hello, Kiba," she greeted him, backing up a pace as he drew closer to her. He did lot look as happy with her as he should have been.

--

The bushes were thick and prickly around here, but at least they kept the two newcomers out of sight.

"You conniving bitch." Actually, Akamaru perked a bit, both at his master's voice, and the idea of aforementioned bitch, before he realized it was merely in reference to Ino. Naruto charged behind him but, seeing the dog stop, slowed down and walked more quietly towards the little dog, as though hoping to sneak up on him. Akamaru was under strict command to not let Kiba see Naruto- of course, if the blonde decided he wanted to charge out there, Akamaru wasn't sure what he was gonna do about it.

"Hello, Kiba," Ino said. Akamaru didn't like Ino's voice, and it was obvious Naruto didn't, either. The blonde froze in his tracks, then started to turn away.

"You fucking _played_ me," Akamaru's master snarled, and Naruto froze again. Akamaru glanced at him over his shoulder, then peered back through the bushes.

"Why," Ino drawled, "what on _earth_ do you mean?" Her arms folded daintily over her chest; an irritatingly nonchalant motion.

Akamaru glanced to his left and saw a trembling shadow in the boughs of a tree- Shikamaru, keeping watch. Glancing to the right, he saw Sasuke leaning nonchalantly against a sign post. Glancing back, it was obvious Naruto wasn't seeing anything- he was staring at nothing, absorbed in Kiba's voice.

"You played me. You set me up. You played both of us!"

Ino's eyebrow arched. Akamaru barely saw it between the snarled branches of the bush, but it gave an extra edge to her expression even from as far away as the terrier was. "You can't _possibly_ mean that you fell for the boy, can you, Kiba?"

Akamaru's master shoved his hands in his pockets to keep them from wrapping around the blonde girl's neck. "You set me up, you whore! You played me for a few cheap laughs!"

"And what did you do to Naruto?"

There was a moment of still silence in response to that, while the canine-ninja deflated a little, and then, quietly, Kiba murmured, "I don't know." Naruto hadn't moved, and neither did Akamaru. "I don't fucking _know_ what I did to him. I set him up to be fucking humiliated, and for the life of me I don't know why."

"Of course you don't know why," Ino sighed, rolling her eyes. Her voice was a little more gentle, now; Akamaru still didn't like it much. "If I've said it once, I've repeated it _ad nauseam_- you're an idiot, Kiba, and you don't know a damn thing."

Kiba snarled, and Akamaru growled. The shadows in the tree that had to be Shikamaru hiding trembled slightly, and Sasuke leaned over a little, to hear better. Naruto's fingers dug absently into the fabric of his pants.

Seemingly oblivious, Ino continued. "You did it because it got you close to him, and you'd do anything for an excuse to get close to that kid." Her grin was dazzlingly coy, and it irritated even the terrier.

"So you set me up? You set both of us up? You figured I'd just be your _tool_ to fish what you wanted out of Naruto, to get closer to Sasuke?"

"You started the whole damn prank knowing _that_," Ino told him. "You knew it was my call, and my game. You were just playing it because it got you something you wanted, too."

"You played me. I was never on the inside of it."

"No. You weren't." She smiled, and gave a brisk shake of her head, so her hair fell gracefully over her shoulder. Her voice got still more gentle, though her expression didn't change. "Are you sorry you did it?"

"What?"

"Are you sorry you did it? You agreed to it- you threw away your dignity, your friend's trust, your housekeeping, your heterosexuality and your hope for normal love." The speech seemed a little planned but Ino's expression made it clear she was happy with it. "You did it all to get close to Naruto, and, for a little while, you did get close to him. Was it worth it?"

--

Was it worth it?

Naruto was frozen in every muscle of his body. The question hit him between the eyes and, although light was streaming through his retina the messages weren't making it to his brain. The words were the only stimuli he felt like he had and he clung to them with every ounce of consciousness pulsing around in his brain.

Was it worth it?

He'd been doped, lied to, tricked, pissed on, bullied and mocked. On the other hand, he'd lost his virginity- and learned that he liked sex, thank you- found a warm home and someone who cared about him, and said he loved him. It would have been clear-cut (yes! Yes, it was worth it, all worth it) except that the person who said he loved him was the same person who had tricked and lied to him and mocked him and betrayed the three words from before.

Ino had asked, are you sorry? Kiba had never apologized to Naruto- had never said he didn't mean any of it, had never mentioned that don't worry, don't feel bad, it's all a joke.

Was he sorry? Was Kiba sorry, did Naruto regret it? Would either of them play it differently if they could go back and do it over?

Was it worth it?

Naruto didn't know

Naruto didn't know what to think anymore...

--

Was it worth it?

Kiba knew, with a cold certainty that made his stomach hurt. His gut was carved in marble.

"Why are you doing this, Ino?" he asked, quietly. She didn't answer and, hesitantly, he continued, each word dropping from his lips, slowly falling past the point where he could call them back. "I hurt him, I know that, and I won't forgive myself for that, you know," he said, slowly. "It hurts to think about. It hurts like nothing else I've ever fucking felt, and I mean it, and I've been _physically_ ripped to shreds on more than one fucking occasion. I lost my only chance at true love, Ino, and you did it to me." He smiled like bending an iron bar, and looked away from her. "But I _did_ get close to him, and I am a selfish son-of-a-bitch, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. It was worth everything I have, everything I've felt, everything in the world. It was worth everything and more." He knew his speech rang less practiced than Ino's, but he didn't care. His heart- what was left of it- was in it. "I'm either more of a bitch than I thought, or I'm drowning in this shit. I'm in love with him."

Ino smirked, and, for one white-hot second, Kiba hated her something passionate for it.

Then he heard a very familiar bark.

--

When that expression flickered over Ino's face was when he was supposed to speak, so Akamaru spoke.

Naruto, of course, wasn't in on the plan, and obviously didn't know that this was exactly what the little dog was supposed to do. "Shut up!" he snapped, and lunged forward, one hand closing around Akamaru's short snout. The dog yelped as his jaws were forced shut, then pulled his muzzle out of Naruto's fist and snapped at the blonde's fingers.

The bushes shoved apart, and Kiba looked down on them in surprise. His love interest was spread out over his dog, half his hand buried in the terrier's mouth, and for a moment, all three stared at each other in absolute silence. In the backdrop, Ino smiled.

Naruto snatched his bunny-ears off the ground where Akamaru had dropped them, and turned away, still half-splayed out on the ground but impatiently pulling his fingers out from Akamaru's maw. Kiba shifted his weight, uneasily.

"I guess you heard all that, then, didn't you?" he asked, quietly.

For a second, Akamaru didn't think Naruto was going to reply. Then he nodded, once.

There wasn't much else to say. "I'm sorry" was pretty much nullified. "I love you" was overplayed, "I'm a bastard" was obvious, and anything else would be out of place.

Was it worth it? If he could go back and play it again, what would he do differently? Would he refuse to move in with Kiba? Would he be distant, cool, aloof- would he refuse to get close to the dog when all he wanted was to be with him for the rest of his life? Would he run away when Kiba told him he loved him? Would he pull away when the other boy kissed him; walked away instead of embraced him? Would he refuse to fall in love?

Naruto hesitated.

Kiba loved him. He hadn't just been saying it, 'cause he was admitting it to Ino; he really felt that way. That, to Naruto, made all the difference.

He said, quietly, as though not sure he was ready to talk to Kiba at all, "Ino is such a bitch."

Surprised, Kiba managed a smirk, and then a real smile. Naruto didn't smile, couldn't smile; he twisted around to look up at the canine-nin with wide, blank eyes. Kiba's expression faltered but didn't fade away.

Kiba offered the blonde a hand, which Naruto took, and pulled him to his feet. Akamaru sat down on his haunches and watched, waiting for the beam of sunlight that was Ino's Great Plan to meld these two together, as an item, as a couple. He waited for somewhere around twenty long, awkward, silent seconds.

"There is nothing I can do to make this up to you, is there?" Kiba asked at long last, the hand that had been wrapped around Naruto's only a few seconds ago hovering in the air, somewhere between touching the blonde and falling back to his side.

Naruto moved faster than Akamaru would have thought he could. His hands pressed against Kiba's chest and he sprang onto his toes, stretching up to peck a chaste kiss on the canine-nin's lips. Kiba's arms snapped around the blonde's waist like they belonged there.

"Just," the blonde breathed, "have the balls to be with me."

Kiba leaned down and kissed him, there with Ino and Shikamaru and Sasuke and Akamaru and the world, the wind, the sky watching, and hoped that was answer enough.


	16. Epilogue

Epilogue

by Ember

A/N: Two years. Two long years. Not my longest time taken with a fanfic- that would be Poisoned Hearts, which ran around five years from conception to completion, and finished up with about a hundred and five pages in WordPerfect, which dwarfs SAs measley little seventy-five. But it was certainly a journey, and I'm thrilled yall stuck with me throughout.

Having said that. I do hate Hinata, but she gets off nice in this story. I hope she appreciates it. :P And just a quick warning- this epilogue is sappy as a Canadian maple syrup farm. There's also enough fluff to stop a charging rhinocerous. Not recommended for diabetics.

Review Replies!

Shinegami7: Bwahah, thanks so much! Ino is roxxors...

Raven: Oh, dear. _brings ice and asprin_

Fairy Blue: Thanks so much! Glad you liked it.

Axel-fiery-gurl: _hustles over with a pillow_ Thanks for the compliment!

QueenNarca: Thanks!

Egg: That review made me very happy. Especially the last sentence. Because its true! Thanks so much for the comment!

Turtle Kid: I never saw Superman Returns. I didnt like his cowlick. But thanks for the review; I can honestly admit to having an affinity for sappy-melty-fluff. I warn you now that this installment has a lot of it. x3

XoxokibaismyantidrugoxoX: Thank you! I actually was worried about how I'd written the dialogue, so thanks a bunch

Mou: Yaaay!

Makenzi: Fuck, that review made me happy. xD You just wrote out a good chunk of everything that I was trying to do with this fic, and I'm thrilled you think I did it all. Thanks so much!

Darcen: Thanks bunches! This is the last bit, unfortunately.

Cool-Hanyou: Not yet- I still have the Epilogue. This is the last installment, though! Thanks so much for your reviews!

Death by Squishy: Thank you:3

Shiva's Avatar: The cliché plot –is- Ino's fault! That's fantastic excuse and I'm keeping it.: P Sorry I swallowed your day, but thanks so much for stopping by and dropping a line!

--

Closing time

Time for you to go out

And find your place in the world

Closing time

Turn the lights up over

Every boy and every girl

Closing time

One last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer

Closing time

You dont have to go home but you cant stay here

I know who I want to take me home

I know who I want to take me home

I know who I want to take me home

Take me home...

--

Kiba tried to meditate twice a day- once, to calm down after training with his team, and once at the end of the day. He didnt always get both of them in and he knew that wasnt good for his training, because concentrating on yourself and your chakra is important to maintain a personal balance. But he tried to get it all in a day and personally relished in the feeling he got when he took an hour or two away from his schedule, centering himself, alone, in his living room, which Akamarus fur under his hand- just the two of them, breathing synchronized. Completely relaxed.

_BANG_.

Or not. Akamaru jumped a foot off Kibas lap, and the canine-ninja was on his feet before he realized hed moved.

BANG! _Bang_. AShit! Bopbopbopbop...

Akamaru whined and rolled his eyes, recognizing the sounds at last. Willing to pretend hed never been startled, he flopped over on his side and put his head down on his paws, glaring at the door to Kibas apartment as though he could sense the idiot making that noise behind it.

Kiba shot a quick glare at his terrier, then hurried over to the door to his apartment, wrenched it open, and yelled out with some surprise as a large, hastily-stuffed suitcase fell in on top of him. The next think he knew he was on his back on the floor.

"Sorry about that," Naruto quipped from somewhere above the toppled shinobi. "That thing is heavy!"

"Yeah," Kiba drawled, struggling to sit up and shoving it off his lap with a grunt. Akamaru watched, curious, from the other room. "I heard it chasing you down the stairs. Is this it?"

"Yep!" With a cheeky grin, Naruto plopped down to take the suitcase's place in his boyfriend's lap. "Everything worth saving from my apartment's cleaned out and shipped off. Tsunade says I could get thirty dollars for the place and not even have to clean it up."

Kiba absently wrapped his arms around the kitsune's shoulders, laughing a little into his hair. "You're so damn lazy." The kitsune, he knew, used orange cream shampoo and his hair smelled absolutely delicious; he lingered with his lips pressed against the blonde curls for another second.

"I am not!" The blonde slid his fingers over the broader hand resting on his stomach, and dropped his head onto Kiba's shoulder. "I just hate cleaning."

"And yet you're moving in with me." Kiba's slightly fatalistic tone both annoyed and amused his boyfriend, who wriggled a little in his arms.

"Hey, you invited me!" Naruto shrugged. "And I'm cleaner than the dog, at least."

"Somehow, I doubt that."

"Yeah, well, fuck you." The words weren't as sharp as they might have been a month ago. Naruto wiggled closer to the larger shinobi while Kiba mused over the suggestion.

"Maybe later," he decided, and rudely shoved Naruto off his lap. The blonde struggled upright and stuck his tongue out at Kiba, then danced out of the way when the larger ninja sprang to his feet. "Get your suitcase," the canine shinobi said.

Naruto pouted. "It's _heavy_," he pointed out, kicking it towards the other ninja. "You get it. I carried it all the way over here."

"You're as strong as I am."

One blonde eyebrow jumped up. "_As_ strong? As in, equally strong?" He smirked, showing pointed eye-teeth. "That's a damn lie, and you know it."

Kiba snorted. "Well, maybe it _is_ an exaggeration. I'll be gentle around you, but you still have to carry your own damn suitcase to your own damn room." Your own room. Naruto's room. Strange how that first bedroom had ceased to be the guest room and transformed into Naruto's Room the second the smaller shinobi moved in weeks ago, and how Kiba's room, once his alone and the place he went to be by himself, had made the same transformation just the moment the blonde had stumbled through the door today. The guest bedroom had settled back down to its original title without fanfare; the whole ordeal seemed so natural.

It just seemed like he had been around the blonde his whole life. He was already getting proficient at tuning him out- at the moment, he was rising out of his reverie and only just becoming aware of words thrown like shruiken at him. "…eight _times_ as strong as you, which you should know 'cause you still have the bruises from the last time we-"

Kiba kissed him. Kiba kissed him like he'd never touched him before, amazed that he could still feel so amazingly overwhelmed, so pleasantly keelhauled. That even though they must have kissed like this twenty, thirty, forty times, he still got butterflies in his stomach the second their lips touched, and he still felt like he could stay like this- fingers tracing the fox's jawline, one arm wrapped around his shoulder, eyes half-closed so they could still drink each other in through sight, through the light that reflected off each other- for the rest of his life.

He has always assumed that love became natural, became steady, became predictable; that eventually the shine rubs off and all you're left with is the tool. That's why they only ever show the beginning of the relationship in the movies- because eventually all love becomes the same, worn-down but gentle fixture of life. But maybe it's always like this- always new, always exciting. Every day is just the refreshed beginning of the same sweet love story.

When he pulled away, it wasn't with regret, because he knew the next kiss would be just as perfect as the first.

Naruto stuck out his tongue. "Cheater."

Kiba smirked. "I'm not a cheater. I just know a better way to win than arguing."

"Oh, really?" Naruto's mouth twisted up in a deliciously evil grin, and Kiba's stomach twisted when soft, tan hands pressed against his chest. "I can win this game, too."

In the end, Kiba carried the suitcase upstairs.

Hinata was still awkward around them, until one day she wasn't, and then she started coming over on occasion, and then she started talking to Naruto. The blonde, who had never before heard her say an entire sentence to his face, was dumbfounded at the transformation- but, little by little, Hinata took heartbreak as a much-needed callous to her heart. She was a strong ninja, and, slowly, little by little, one word at a time, becoming a stronger person. So yes, she found love, and it was with the person she was slowly becoming. So it turned out alright for her, too.

Ino never did pay Kiba. It was a running joke at first, and she bought him lunch a couple times and then, later, a couple drinks, and they eventually called it even. Sasuke took longer to forgive her than Naruto or Kiba did because, in the end, he loved Naruto more than he would admit, and he hated her for hurting him. But it didn't bother Ino. She had more devious plans to capture Sasuke than the Atsuki could ever hope to concoct, and she knew exactly how to carry them out, with Shikamaru and Chouji in tow. In truth, she might have been disappointed if she had won him over too quickly, because it would truly be a waste of her devious intellect.

For his part, Akamaru was not happy to have Naruto come and live with him, and made this disapproval apparent by befouling everything of the fox's he could lift a leg at. Eventually, however, he got over himself, and admitted that sometimes his master's happiness was enough to tide him over in this hard time. And anyway, Naruto was willing to play with him sometimes, and he knew how happy it made Kiba when the two of them got along.

Closing time

Time for you to go out to the places you will be from

Closing time

This room won't be open till your brothers or your sisters come

Closing time

So gather up your jackets

And move out to the exits

I hope you have found a friend

Closing time

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

Kiba turned over, careful not to pull the blankets off of Naruto. It was late and the fox was sleeping, lying sprawled out on his back, his chest rising and falling gently, his soft stomach with the swirling seal visible through the translucent sheets. _And as for us, I think we turned out just fine in the end._

Maybe Konoha would never be the same. Maybe the two worst juvenile delinquents of the whole Hidden Leaf village were in sync, now, and completely unstoppable- maybe Tsunade was having trouble hiding the wrinkles and Asuka was drinking an awful lot more- he said he needed it and God, did he need it- and Iruka kept complaining that his hair was going grey. Konoha _would_ remember them. And the two of them would remember this.

Naruto smiled in his sleep and shifted a little, and Kiba's heart clenched. Would it always be this intense, just looking at his fox? He hoped so.

Kiba propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at the sleep-smoothed face of his boyfriend, and, one hand absently twisting through blonde curls, he bent down to brush his lips against the kitsune's.

Blue eyes opened slightly, and Naruto kissed him back, and it was every bit as thrilling as the first, and every bit as sweet as the last, and every bit as perfect as every kiss in-between. Kiba wanted to hold his fox, stop time, and live in this love story for the rest of his life. But when you're in love, every story's a love story, and every old story has to end.

Everything has to come to an end sometime, and he couldn't think of a better ending than this.

I know who I want to take me home

I know who I want to take me home

I know who I want to take me home

Take me home

Take me home…

_And they all lived happily ever after._


End file.
